When you are in a healthy relationship, it naturally functions well. Of course, like any couple, you may have disagreements from time-to-time or there may be some hard times, but you band together no matter what. You are able to make major life decisions together, discuss problems once they occur, and genuinely enjoy spending time with one another.
On the other hand, you have toxic relationships. In a toxic relationship, the ‘norm’ is feeling drained and unhappy after spending time with your partner. This should be a major red flag that some things need to change.
You may still love your partner, but the relationship does not seem enjoyable. Maybe minor issues turn into full-blown arguments or you always seem to provoke one another. It may even get so severe that you dread spending time with your partner instead of getting excited to see them, like you were in the past.
Continue reading this blog to see if your relationship is toxic, and some guidance on how to navigate a toxic relationship.
Disney has a way of exploring heavier life topics that can help children and the 2021 film Encanto is no exception. Movies like Inside Out and Soul also assist children in exploring heavier aspects of life, such as emotions, trauma, consciousness, and even death. Encanto joins the long list of children’s movies that have a deeper message.
Disney’s Encanto offers a multigenerational story about a grandmother and her family who have been endowed with magical gifts. The Madrigal family lives in a hidden village in Colombia. While each family member does their best to live up to their reputation and help others in the community, the facade slowly begins to crumble figuratively and literally in the house that all three generations share.
Not only do people love this movie because of its catchy soundtrack, including the famous song “We don’t talk about Bruno”, but people also love it because of its exploration of generational trauma.
Do you have a hard time going with the flow? Do you have to follow a schedule or routine at all times? Do you try to control other people in your life? If you are dealing with control issues, it is likely that you feel like you must exert power over your life, relationships, and general environment. In some cases, this exertion of power may extend to the life of other people.
Control can simply be defined as exerting influence or power over the environment, actions, and behaviors of yourself or another person. There are many reasons why you may feel like you need to be in control, such as insecurities or fear of the unpredictable. At times, your need for control may become overwhelming and tiring, causing chaos in your career, relationships, and your overall quality of life.
While some people may be quick to throw the word “narcissist” around, it is important to remember that there is a distinction between someone being self-centered and unsympathetic, and someone who has Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Many people may have what doctors call narcissistic characteristics, such as feeling entitled or having a strong sense of self-importance. People who have narcissistic personality disorder may be challenging to deal with.
The first step to determine your dynamic with someone who you think is a narcissist is to know the difference between someone with narcissistic tendencies and someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
When you think of a child, you probably imagine a young person who is resilient and fast-moving. These traits may cause you to believe that situations do not leave a lasting impact on children’s emotional health; however, that is not the case. If left unsolved, your emotions that came from a traumatic experience as a child can live in your subconscious mind. This will continue to affect you until you detect, process, and solve it. In order to heal childhood trauma as an adult, you have to learn how to process painful emotions.
A healthy way to respond to childhood trauma occurs right after the trauma has taken place. When the trauma occurs, you recognize that it is an offense to yourself. Afterward, you would feel your emotions and acknowledge the fact that the offense does not dictate anything about you personally. In other words, you do not make a negative meaning out of what occurred. Generally, it is rare for people to react in this manner.
This process is not automatic. Certain emotions, like rage and unhappiness, are difficult to express. On top of that, some cultures may view this outpouring of emotions to be socially unacceptable. Therefore, this causes many people to suppress their emotions. For a kid, this process is even more burdensome. For instance, someone may comment on a child’s weight or a part of their body which can cause a long-lasting inner dialogue to occur in the kid’s head, creating body dysmorphia. While this can happen to adults as well, it may be easier for an adult to push aside outside commentary in comparison to a child.
You may be feeling overwhelmed by social media lately and want to take a break but you don’t want to miss out on your friends posts and the news. Why does excessive scrolling make us feel bad, but it can also be enjoyable at the same time? Let's take a pause and talk about how social media is affecting our minds, the positives and the negatives and what to do about it.
Your 45-minute weekly session with your licensed mental health counselor is coming to an end, but your feelings are not magically going to go away. In fact, you feel horrible after chatting with your therapist. Now, you feel frustrated and maybe worse than before you started mental health counseling. After all, therapy is supposed to make you feel better, right?
But, do not worry! It is normal to feel bad after your counseling session, especially if you are in the beginning stages of your therapeutic journey of self-improvement. Although it may sound counterintuitive, feeling bad after therapy can actually be a good sign as it shows that you are really putting the work into your emotional health, dealing with difficult emotions and discussing past traumas.
Online mental health counseling, commonly referred to as teletherapy or telehealth, has been around for quite some time, but has grown in popularity and usage during the COVID-19 pandemic to help ensure everyone’s safety and health. Typically, teletherapy is simply counseling offered via phone call or a video platform. It is used for many types of therapy, and has proven to be just as effective as in-person counseling.
Telehealth mental health counseling may have started for many practices as a convenient alternative to in-person sessions, but it has quickly become a staple in the mental health community.
As summer comes to a close, it can be hard to dodge those “back-to-school” commercials and emails flooding our inboxes of purchasing school supplies. You get a daily reminder that your few months of a break is quickly coming to an end. You may have purchased your college textbooks or a new fall wardrobe, but are you really ready to go back? How do you mentally prepare yourself for a new semester or, perhaps, your first time stepping foot on campus as a freshman?
Even though you are registered for classes and have your bag packed with books, pencils, and other supplies, your preparation does not end there. You may feel stressed or anxious like your few months of freedom is coming to an end. Stress, deadlines, homework, and exams will quickly fill up your schedule.
While college can be a stressful experience at times, it can be equally as exciting. The college experience is unique. For some people, it is often regarded as the “best years of their life.” While looking forward to your next year at college, try to view it with as much excitement as you do with nervous anticipation.
At Anchor Therapy, we are currently accepting new clients and are now providing telehealth (video & phone) sessions for residents of New Jersey and New York as well as in-person sessions at our new office in downtown Hoboken, NJ! Anchor Therapy is a counseling center in Hoboken, NJ with psychotherapists specialized in helping children, teens, adults, and couples with anxiety, depression, relationship issues, trauma, substance abuse, addiction, identity, and life transitions.
Everyone experiences life transitions as they shift into a new chapter or role in their life. Some common examples are attending a new school, getting a new job, becoming a parent, getting married, losing someone, moving homes, opening a business, surviving a pandemic, and retiring. Since these life transitions are common and a lot of people experience them you may feel that you should be able to deal with it on your own since everyone else seems to. Just because others have experienced similar life transitions, it does not mean that it will be easy for you and you should not feel like you have to do it alone. In this blog I will discuss some common life transitions and how to cope with them. These coping tools can also apply to any life transition you are going through.
As we are starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel with the COVID-19 pandemic some people are starting to experience anxiety about having to return to their “normal” life. Since the pandemic lasted over a year, a lot of people have adjusted to a new normal that they’re now comfortable with. Because we have been told to stay home more and physically socially distance from others, it has led to people spending more and more time with the family they live with and people in their quarantine bubble. A lot of people had the luxury of working from home or anywhere that they can get access to WiFi. This led many people to move to a new location since they could truly work from anywhere. Now that millions of Americans are getting vaccinated, businesses and people in general are starting to discuss how they will operate after the COVID-19 is no longer a high risk. The thought about returning to normal has caused many people to feel anxious about making this transition.
This previous year of 2020 has definitely been a tough one for just about everyone. It’s important to acknowledge that we made it through the year, and you are forging forward. Many people have experienced losses and challenges since the COVID-19 virus began. Those losses may have been the life of a loved one, a job, a business, a recent living environment, and major life events.
You may have had to postpone, reschedule, or cancel your wedding plans or a special celebration. Maybe you had a virtual party for a once in a lifetime event. Many of you had not planned to celebrate your birthday the way that you did this year. The number of trips you tried to plan and had to cancel is becoming too large to count on one hand. You had planned to switch jobs or were up for a promotion, and that was put on hold in March.
These losses and challenges may have created a lasting impression on you, and it’s okay to need assistance in processing these emotions. In order to move forward, it can be helpful to look back and process your emotions of the past year.
The pandemic has been a difficult time for everyone, but one group of people who are experiencing increased symptoms of depression are athletes. Since March 2020, most sports were completely cancelled. Now that the fall is starting up with a new sports season, some sports are able to return. But a lot of sports remain cancelled or postponed. Athletes find a lot of purpose, motivation, and validation from competing in their sport. Due to COVID-19, this may be the first time in many years that an athlete does not have their sport to train for and feels empty.
Does your child have temper tantrums, feel anxious, and cannot be calmed down? As a parent, do you feel you've tried everything you could to calm your child down? As a psychotherapist in Hoboken, NJ I specialize in helping children and teens express themselves in appropriate ways. I like to teach children self soothing actions they can do on their own at home.
