Scapegoating in Families, family counseling, Hoboken NJ therapist, Jersey City NJ therapist, hudson county therapist
Courtney Glashow
Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in ...

Scapegoating means that you are blaming a person or group for something bad that has happened or for something that someone else has done. Scapegoating typically occurs to protect the image of a person or family. In a family dynamic, a person may be used as the scapegoat to protect a more favored member in the family. While it is common for one person to be used as the scapegoat, it can happen to multiple people.

Scapegoating can occur in different environments, such as work, but it is most prominent in unhealthy family dynamics. In this case, scapegoating then tends to start in childhood when a child is blamed for all of a family’s dysfunction and problems. A scapegoat bears the burden of taking on the mistakes of a family or team. 

When children are assigned this role at a young age, it can wreak havoc on their mental health. A scapegoated child may not believe that they are inherently good, worthy, or lovable. Instead, they hear insults regularly, experience constant bullying, and even abuse and neglect. This leads to a low self-esteem, decreased self-confidence, and negative self-talk. 

Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in Families
toxic relationship, relationship counseling, couples therapy, hoboken therapist, jersey city therapist, marriage counseling, nj therapist, nyc therapist, premarital counseling
Courtney Glashow
How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship

When you are in a healthy relationship, it naturally functions well. Of course, like any couple, you may have disagreements from time-to-time or there may be some hard times, but you band together no matter what. You are able to make major life decisions together, discuss problems once they occur, and genuinely enjoy spending time with one another.

On the other hand, you have toxic relationships. In a toxic relationship, the ‘norm’ is feeling drained and unhappy after spending time with your partner. This should be a major red flag that some things need to change.

You may still love your partner, but the relationship does not seem enjoyable. Maybe minor issues turn into full-blown arguments or you always seem to provoke one another. It may even get so severe that you dread spending time with your partner instead of getting excited to see them, like you were in the past.

Continue reading this blog to see if your relationship is toxic, and some guidance on how to navigate a toxic relationship.

How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship
Intergenerational Trauma, trauma counseling, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational ...

Disney has a way of exploring heavier life topics that can help children and the 2021 film Encanto is no exception. Movies like Inside Out and Soul also assist children in exploring heavier aspects of life, such as emotions, trauma, consciousness, and even death. Encanto joins the long list of children’s movies that have a deeper message.

Disney’s Encanto offers a multigenerational story about a grandmother and her family who have been endowed with magical gifts. The Madrigal family lives in a hidden village in Colombia. While each family member does their best to live up to their reputation and help others in the community, the facade slowly begins to crumble figuratively and literally in the house that all three generations share.
Not only do people love this movie because of its catchy soundtrack, including the famous song “We don’t talk about Bruno”, but people also love it because of its exploration of generational trauma.

Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational Trauma Right
control issues, mental health blog, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues

Do you have a hard time going with the flow? Do you have to follow a schedule or routine at all times? Do you try to control other people in your life? If you are dealing with control issues, it is likely that you feel like you must exert power over your life, relationships, and general environment. In some cases, this exertion of power may extend to the life of other people.

Control can simply be defined as exerting influence or power over the environment, actions, and behaviors of yourself or another person. There are many reasons why you may feel like you need to be in control, such as insecurities or fear of the unpredictable. At times, your need for control may become overwhelming and tiring, causing chaos in your career, relationships, and your overall quality of life.

7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues
couples therapy, hoboken counseling, jersey city therapist, mental health blog, nyc counselor, relationship counseling
Courtney Glashow
8 Tips for Dealing With A Narcissist

While some people may be quick to throw the word “narcissist” around, it is important to remember that there is a distinction between someone being self-centered and unsympathetic, and someone who has Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Many people may have what doctors call narcissistic characteristics, such as feeling entitled or having a strong sense of self-importance. People who have narcissistic personality disorder may be challenging to deal with.

The first step to determine your dynamic with someone who you think is a narcissist is to know the difference between someone with narcissistic tendencies and someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

8 Tips for Dealing With A Narcissist

OCD Counseling Page

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How to Break the Cycle of Obsessive Thoughts

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How to Break the Cycle of Obsessive Thoughts

Have you ever experienced the same thoughts over and over again? Do you dwell on these thoughts, and the negative feelings that come along with it? The repetitive, often negative aspect of thought rumination can contribute to feelings of anxiety and depression, as well as worsen existing conditions.


Rumination is when you feel stuck in a cycle of negative thoughts. Rumination is an obsessive form of thinking that includes excessive, repetitive thoughts or themes that conflict with other mental activity, according to the American Psychological Association (APA). Although thought rumination typically occurs for individuals with Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) or Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), anyone can struggle with obsessive thinking. 


Rumination can transform worry into a habit or a way of life. Obsessive thinking can be a hard cycle to break, but it is possible! Continue reading this blog to learn how to break the cycle of obsessive thoughts.

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What conditions may be treated with CBT therapy near me?

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What conditions may be treated with CBT therapy near me?

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, often simply referred to as CBT, is a type of structured talk therapy that is structured and goal-oriented. Mental health professionals, from psychologists to psychotherapists and counselors, use CBT to treat or manage a range of mental health conditions and/or emotional concerns. 


If you are someone who is starting off in your journey of trying to find a therapist near you, you likely have come across CBT therapy. For support in this journey, read “How to Find the Best Therapist Near Me.” CBT is often referred to as the gold standard of mental health counseling as it is one of the most common and best-studied forms of mental health therapy.

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How to Cope with Postpartum OCD

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How to Cope with Postpartum OCD

While many of us have heard of the baby blues and Postpartum Depression (PPD), there are other mental health challenges that women can face after birth. For more information, check out our blog “The Difference Between Baby Blues and Postpartum Depression.” 

One of the lesser known mental health disorders women experience after birth is Postpartum Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). Postpartum OCD is similar to OCD that any other child, teen, adult, or senior citizen else can experience, but it also involves thoughts and behaviors specifically about your newborn baby. 

You do not have to struggle with Postpartum OCD on your own. If you believe you are struggling from Postpartum OCD, it is recommended to seek the support of an OCD specialist as soon as possible so you can get the professional care you deserve.

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6 Ways to Understand and Support a Parent With Mental Illness

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6 Ways to Understand and Support a Parent With Mental Illness

Mental Illness is something that is still extremely stigmatized and misunderstood. This could be because people aren’t educated and aware of how certain mental disorders function. It’s understandable though, in the sense that it’s hard to understand mental illness when we may not experience it ourselves. Even though you may not be able to empathize with certain mental illnesses and disorders, you can still try your best to understand them. Awareness is extremely important! 

Parents can already be hard to understand from the point of view of a child - even if you’re a teen or an adult. On top of that, parental mental illness can be incredibly challenging to navigate. Mental illness sometimes can get in the way of the proper parenting that a child needs - even if unintentionally. Connecting with a parent and trying to understand the hows and whys of their behavior can really make the home environment more comfortable.

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3 Ways to Overcome Health Anxiety

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3 Ways to Overcome Health Anxiety

If you have health anxiety, you have an irrational and obsessive worry that you have a serious medical condition. Health anxiety takes other names, such as hypochondria and illness anxiety. Overall, healthy anxiety is marked when you have an imagination of physical symptoms of an illness.

In other cases, you may misinterpret minor or normal bodily sensations as symptoms of a serious disease. Even if medical professionals reassure you that you do not have an illness, you may have a hard time believing them and trusting their professional advice.

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How to Cope with Relationship OCD using CBT and ERP

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How to Cope with Relationship OCD using CBT and ERP

Relationship obsessive-compulsive disorder, also referred to as R-OCD, is a subtype of OCD. It is characterized by ongoing intrusive thoughts and uncontrollable behavior regarding the unpredictability of a relationship. If you have R-OCD, it is likely that you experience recurring doubts about one or more relationships in your life, even if there is evidence present or not that supports those thoughts. 

Many people with R-OCD feel like, no matter what they do, they cannot get rid of their doubting thoughts. You may worry that you are stuck in the wrong relationship. Or maybe you find yourself questioning everything about your partner. Soon enough, your unrelenting obsessions and compulsions about your relationship can take over and cause you to self-sabotage. If you want to learn how to manage your R-OCD effectively, keep reading!

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How Counseling Can Help You Break OCD Habits

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How Counseling Can Help You Break OCD Habits

If you struggle with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), you may feel like you are living in a vicious cycle of thoughts, feelings, and rituals. One helpful way to try to stop the cycle is to break OCD habits by changing or delaying your rituals. Unfortunately, breaking OCD habits on your own can be extremely hard. Therefore, an OCD therapist can help assist you in this process.

For example, let us say that you have an unpleasant thought that randomly “pops” into your head. This uncomfortable thought could be something like shouting something inappropriately in public. If you fasten unhelpful meanings to a thought (e.g., in our specific example, you could be thinking “I am someone who is not socially graceful”), that will only lead to more anxiety. When you get anxious, you may begin to look for any methods to tame your spiraling thoughts.

When you have OCD, the ways in which you attempt to lessen your anxiety may vary. For instance, you may obsessively check in with your friends and family to ensure that you do not lose your social connections and that, in fact, you are socially graceful. You may feel the need to check in on your loved ones a set number of times throughout each day or at specific times. Thus, it is the continuous cycle of OCD.

While these strategies can help in the short-term to lessen anxiety, you will only need to do them more and more often because your “bad” thoughts appear more frequently when you try to push them away. This can easily lead to you feeling trapped because you do not know what to do if you do not use some sort of coping skills or strategies. Your life can begin to feel controlled by your “bad” thoughts and your constant need to control them.

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Do I Have A Social Media Addiction?

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Do I Have A Social Media Addiction?

We’ve all heard it before- social media seriously impacts your mental health. But how does it do so? The constant news can be conflicting. Some reports claim that social media can be an amazing tool for networking and connection, bringing people together like never before. On the other hand, other sources tell us of the detrimental impact social media can have on our mental health, advocating for temporarily disabling your social media accounts and limiting screen time.

Human beings are social creatures. We need connection to other people to thrive and grow to our fullest potential. The strength of those relationships can have a big impact on your happiness and overall mental health.

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Everything You Need to Know About CBT for PTSD

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Everything You Need to Know About CBT for PTSD

Most people know about Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) as shell shock. You may be experiencing debilitating nightmares or find yourself being over-reactive. PTSD is commonly attributed to the military community. While PTSD in veterans is a common occurrence, you do not have to be in the service to have PTSD.

PTSD symptoms can impact anyone. PTSD is a type of anxiety disorder that occurs after a deeply scary or intimidating event. You do not even have to be directly involved in the event for you to experience PTSD. That is to say, the pure shock of the event can be so large that you have a difficult time living a normal life.

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How to Manage OCD Intrusive Thoughts with CBT

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How to Manage OCD Intrusive Thoughts with CBT

Do you struggle with intrusive thoughts? Do they seemingly pop into your head from thin air? You might be grabbing a coffee or commuting to work when, all of a sudden, an unwanted thought pops into your head. It can be a bizarre image or a crazy thought. You are left questioning that thought or perhaps you think about it obsessively and start to become anxious.

The thought could be harmless, like doing something embarrassing in a social setting, or it could be more harmful, such as a tragedy happening to your family members or other loved ones who you would never want to harm. If you struggle with this, please take comfort in knowing that you are not alone.

If you struggle with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD), you can experience intrusive thoughts regularly and you may be looking for a way to stop them in their tracks. These thoughts are automatic which may make you feel like you do not have control over them. This only worsens your stress levels and may even lead you to cope in unhealthy ways.

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Everything You Need To Know About Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

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Everything You Need To Know About Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

Cognitive behavioral therapy, often referred to as CBT, is a therapy technique that can help you transform your behavior by altering your thought patterns. In Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), you can learn how to identify and change harmful or alarming thought patterns that have a negative effect on your behavior and emotions. The automatic negative thoughts that you experience have a damaging impact on your mood. By engaging in behavioral counseling and becoming aware of negative thinking, you can respond to difficult situations more effectively and precisely.

Through Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), your thoughts are:

  • Identified

  • Challenged

  • Replaced with more positive, practical thoughts

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6 Ways To Handle Intrusive Thoughts

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6 Ways To Handle Intrusive Thoughts

An intrusive thought is something that we all experience from time to time. An intrusive thought is when you have an unwanted and involuntary thought, image, or idea that is upsetting or distressing pop into your mind. Some people realize that these thoughts are not based on reality and they can easily brush them off and move on to a next thought. While others have a hard time dealing with these intrusive thoughts and find themselves in a destructive thought loop. Most people find these types of thoughts disturbing and spend a lot of time questioning their reality because of it. Intrusive thoughts are more common and frequent for someone who experiences depression and/or anxiety. Below are some ways that you can handle these intrusive thoughts if they do come into your mind and disrupt your thinking.

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5 Ways To Calm Your Anxiety

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5 Ways To Calm Your Anxiety

As a psychotherapist in downtown Hoboken, NJ I see a lot of clients who experience anxiety. I help kids, teens, young adults (20’s and 30’s year olds), and parents with anxious feelings. Anxiety can present in different ways including agitation, nervousness, feeling on edge, obsessive/repeated thoughts, rapid speech, and/or trouble relaxing. The most common thing my clients want to know is how to relax. While I specialize in Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT) I can also help clients feel physically more relaxed as they work on decreasing their overall anxiety. Below are 5 different ways you can try to relax and find calmness.

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10 Ways to Self Diagnose an Anxiety Disorder

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10 Ways to Self Diagnose an Anxiety Disorder

Do you find yourself feeling anxious, nervous, identify as "type A", or feel you have OCD? Do your friends, family, or others tell you that you are too "wound up"? Is it possible for a child to be diagnosed with an anxiety disorder?