Scapegoating in Families, family counseling, Hoboken NJ therapist, Jersey City NJ therapist, hudson county therapist
Courtney Glashow
Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in ...

Scapegoating means that you are blaming a person or group for something bad that has happened or for something that someone else has done. Scapegoating typically occurs to protect the image of a person or family. In a family dynamic, a person may be used as the scapegoat to protect a more favored member in the family. While it is common for one person to be used as the scapegoat, it can happen to multiple people.

Scapegoating can occur in different environments, such as work, but it is most prominent in unhealthy family dynamics. In this case, scapegoating then tends to start in childhood when a child is blamed for all of a family’s dysfunction and problems. A scapegoat bears the burden of taking on the mistakes of a family or team. 

When children are assigned this role at a young age, it can wreak havoc on their mental health. A scapegoated child may not believe that they are inherently good, worthy, or lovable. Instead, they hear insults regularly, experience constant bullying, and even abuse and neglect. This leads to a low self-esteem, decreased self-confidence, and negative self-talk. 

Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in Families
toxic relationship, relationship counseling, couples therapy, hoboken therapist, jersey city therapist, marriage counseling, nj therapist, nyc therapist, premarital counseling
Courtney Glashow
How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship

When you are in a healthy relationship, it naturally functions well. Of course, like any couple, you may have disagreements from time-to-time or there may be some hard times, but you band together no matter what. You are able to make major life decisions together, discuss problems once they occur, and genuinely enjoy spending time with one another.

On the other hand, you have toxic relationships. In a toxic relationship, the ‘norm’ is feeling drained and unhappy after spending time with your partner. This should be a major red flag that some things need to change.

You may still love your partner, but the relationship does not seem enjoyable. Maybe minor issues turn into full-blown arguments or you always seem to provoke one another. It may even get so severe that you dread spending time with your partner instead of getting excited to see them, like you were in the past.

Continue reading this blog to see if your relationship is toxic, and some guidance on how to navigate a toxic relationship.

How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship
Intergenerational Trauma, trauma counseling, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational ...

Disney has a way of exploring heavier life topics that can help children and the 2021 film Encanto is no exception. Movies like Inside Out and Soul also assist children in exploring heavier aspects of life, such as emotions, trauma, consciousness, and even death. Encanto joins the long list of children’s movies that have a deeper message.

Disney’s Encanto offers a multigenerational story about a grandmother and her family who have been endowed with magical gifts. The Madrigal family lives in a hidden village in Colombia. While each family member does their best to live up to their reputation and help others in the community, the facade slowly begins to crumble figuratively and literally in the house that all three generations share.
Not only do people love this movie because of its catchy soundtrack, including the famous song “We don’t talk about Bruno”, but people also love it because of its exploration of generational trauma.

Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational Trauma Right
control issues, mental health blog, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues

Do you have a hard time going with the flow? Do you have to follow a schedule or routine at all times? Do you try to control other people in your life? If you are dealing with control issues, it is likely that you feel like you must exert power over your life, relationships, and general environment. In some cases, this exertion of power may extend to the life of other people.

Control can simply be defined as exerting influence or power over the environment, actions, and behaviors of yourself or another person. There are many reasons why you may feel like you need to be in control, such as insecurities or fear of the unpredictable. At times, your need for control may become overwhelming and tiring, causing chaos in your career, relationships, and your overall quality of life.

7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues
couples therapy, hoboken counseling, jersey city therapist, mental health blog, nyc counselor, relationship counseling
Courtney Glashow
8 Tips for Dealing With A Narcissist

While some people may be quick to throw the word “narcissist” around, it is important to remember that there is a distinction between someone being self-centered and unsympathetic, and someone who has Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Many people may have what doctors call narcissistic characteristics, such as feeling entitled or having a strong sense of self-importance. People who have narcissistic personality disorder may be challenging to deal with.

The first step to determine your dynamic with someone who you think is a narcissist is to know the difference between someone with narcissistic tendencies and someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

8 Tips for Dealing With A Narcissist

career counseling nyc

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The Impact of Trauma on LGBTQIA+ Lives

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The Impact of Trauma on LGBTQIA+ Lives

For many people within the LGBTQIA+ community, the journey of identity acceptance is intertwined with unique celebrations and challenges alike. Unfortunately, for many people in the LGBTQIA+ community, trauma is a common experience that ranges from rejection and discrimination to systematic oppression. Every person’s story is different and the impact of trauma can leave great marks on one’s self-esteem, relationships, and overall mental health and well-being. Recognizing how the experiences in your life affected you is the first step to healing.


Trauma in the LGBTQIA+ population is typically rooted in external pressures to conform to the norms of society. Bullying, family rejection, workplace discrimination, and religious condemnation are just some examples of negative LGBTQIA+ experiences that can create deep emotional scars. There are also systemic barriers in place, from exclusion in certain spaces to a lack of access to affirming care, that can worsen these effects. Even microaggressions can create an ongoing sense of alienation. There are very specific challenges at play for marginalized communities, particularly those in the LGBTQIA+ community.


Understanding the impact of trauma on LGBTQIA+ people is important to create a sense of resilience and carve a path to healing. Particularly with LGBTQIA+ youth, only 4% of people in this community reported never having experienced any symptoms of trauma according to the Trevor Project. With a LGBTQIA+ affirming therapist at Anchor Therapy, you both can create a space where you are seen, valued, and safe.

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Career Counseling: Can A Therapist Help Me Find The Right Job?

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Career Counseling: Can A Therapist Help Me Find The Right Job?

When you are on the hunt for a job, you likely have a lot of thoughts racing through your mind. Maybe you want to find a job that has the same values that you hold. Perhaps you care more about a healthy work-life balance. Whatever your goals are, you probably are not adding “get a therapist” to the never-ending to-do list, but a career counselor can help you with job hunting.

That is to say, you can find solace in an unlikely place during your career search- a therapist’s office. If you are unsure about your professional path, working with a certified career coach can help you outline the best career choices for you according to your personality, interests, and more.

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3 Ways to Achieve Work-Life Balance

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3 Ways to Achieve Work-Life Balance

Work-life balance has been in the news a lot recently, especially during the COVID-19 pandemic. Whether you are a leader at a company or just starting out in your professional life, achieving work-life balance is key to being engaged and happy both while in and out of the office. When you have a healthy work-life balance, you are able to excel at work and take care of your personal needs and responsibilities.

It is very typical for work to take precedence over everything else in our lives. Your own desire to succeed professionally and financially can take you away from your own well-being, family members, and friends. Making sure that you achieve a healthy level of work-life integration is important for not only your career, but your physical, mental, and emotional health as well.

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8 Best Jobs For People With Social Anxiety

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8 Best Jobs For People With Social Anxiety

When you have Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD), it can be difficult to find a job that you like, let alone a job you excel at. It can seem like almost every job available requires you to closely interact with others on a daily basis. When you are feeling stressed and overwhelmed with social anxiety, the last thing you want to do is work hand-in-hand with other people. But, find peace in knowing that there are jobs out there that are perfect for people with social anxiety!

The best job for someone living with SAD is a job that lets you pursue your dreams and expand your skills while not risking your mental wellbeing. Some of these jobs may include working with a few people instead of overwhelmingly large groups. On the other hand, if you have social anxiety and are looking to challenge yourself, you may find it more beneficial to take a job that pushes you outside of your comfort zone.

Before we dive into the best jobs for people with social anxiety, let us talk about what social anxiety exactly is…

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Career Counseling: Protect Your Mental Health During A Job Change

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Career Counseling: Protect Your Mental Health During A Job Change

Are you uninterested in your current job? Do you dislike your workplace with a passion? If you answered “yes” to either or both of these questions, it is time to get real with yourself. Why do you stay at a job that you hate?

While there are many reasons why you may make the active decision to stay at a job you dislike, one of the biggest factors is likely financial security and general fear. While you may think that staying at this job is the right choice, you are not doing yourself any favors. Even if you examine your job positively and try to focus on the benefits, you can still do damage to your mental health if the cons outweigh the advantages.

Maybe a career shift is right for you, but it is an understandably scary process! It can be a time of great uncertainty which can fuel any existing mental health problems. If you are looking to change professional paths, safeguarding your mental health is essential.

For many people, our jobs can unfortunately be a factor that contributes to one’s poor mental health. However, the negative impact that your job has on your well-being can be corrected when you decide to make the brave choice to walk away from a toxic work environment or, generally, a job that does not serve you.