For many people within the LGBTQIA+ community, the journey of identity acceptance is intertwined with unique celebrations and challenges alike. Unfortunately, for many people in the LGBTQIA+ community, trauma is a common experience that ranges from rejection and discrimination to systematic oppression. Every person’s story is different and the impact of trauma can leave great marks on one’s self-esteem, relationships, and overall mental health and well-being. Recognizing how the experiences in your life affected you is the first step to healing.
Trauma in the LGBTQIA+ population is typically rooted in external pressures to conform to the norms of society. Bullying, family rejection, workplace discrimination, and religious condemnation are just some examples of negative LGBTQIA+ experiences that can create deep emotional scars. There are also systemic barriers in place, from exclusion in certain spaces to a lack of access to affirming care, that can worsen these effects. Even microaggressions can create an ongoing sense of alienation. There are very specific challenges at play for marginalized communities, particularly those in the LGBTQIA+ community.
Understanding the impact of trauma on LGBTQIA+ people is important to create a sense of resilience and carve a path to healing. Particularly with LGBTQIA+ youth, only 4% of people in this community reported never having experienced any symptoms of trauma according to the Trevor Project. With a LGBTQIA+ affirming therapist at Anchor Therapy, you both can create a space where you are seen, valued, and safe.
Anchor Therapy is a counseling center in Hoboken, NJ with mental health therapists specialized in helping children, teens, adults, couples, and families with anxiety, depression, relationship issues, trauma, life transitions, and more. Anchor Therapy is accepting new clients and is now providing in-person sessions and teletherapy sessions to residents of New Jersey, New York, and Florida.
What is LGBTQIA+ trauma?
LGBTQIA+ trauma is broadly defined as the psychological and emotional distress that comes along with one’s sexual orientation, gender identity, and expression.
Trauma can stem from certain events, such as:
Violence
Systemic oppression
Rejection
Discrimination
Trauma is a universal experience but, for LGBTQIA+ individuals, there are unique stressors at play, like being in a marginalized community or being targeted because of who they are. This type of trauma is usually not about one single event but rather it may result from ongoing societal stigmatization and microaggressions that foster a sense of fear or exclusion.
Some symptoms of LGBTQIA+ trauma include:
Anxiety and hypervigilance
Depression and sadness
Self-doubt and shame
Avoidance or social withdrawal
Substance use and risky behaviors
Difficulty with trust and intimacy
Physical symptoms (e.g., chronic pain, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, etc.)
LGBTQIA+ trauma can arise from unique sources, from family members and classmates to exclusion from religious or cultural communities. Harassment, verbal abuse, and physical violence can also ensue. While external factors definitely play a part in LGBTQIA+ trauma, even internalized messages about LGBTQIA+ identities can lead to self-doubt and shame.
As you may know, trauma can have a profound impact on a LGBTQIA+ individual’s mental health.
The effects of LGBTQIA+ trauma can manifest in other mental health struggles, such as:
Trauma can also increase the risk of substance use disorders, self-harm, or suicidal ideation, particularly if there is no source of social support. Feeling suicidal? Help is only a phone call away at the free National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 988.
How can LGBTQIA+ trauma impact one’s sense of identity and self-worth?
Trauma, particularly when it occurs within a context of rejection or discrimination, can significantly impact a LGBTQIA+ individual’s sense of identity and self-worth. Internalized stigma may occur when a LGBTQIA+ individual adopts the negative viewpoints of their community about their own sexual orientation or gender identity.
Some examples of internalized LGBTQIA+ stigma include the following:
Avoiding or rejecting LGBTQIA+ community spaces
Fear of being “too gay” or “too queer”
Feeling inadequate in relationships
Reluctance to embrace your true gender identity
Self-censorship in public spaces (e.g., choosing not to hold hands with a partner out of fear of judgment)
Questioning or doubting your worth in society
Over time, this can manifest as self-hatred or shame which may lead a LGBTQIA+ individual to feel that they are unworthy of love, success, happiness, and so on. For instance, let us say you were ostracized because of your sexual identity. You may now begin to believe that you do not deserve respect or happiness which can severely damage your self-esteem. For more information on this topic, check out our blog post “Do You Understand Your Self-Esteem?”.
Daily microaggressions and overt discrimination can take place in many contexts, whether at work, in school, or in public. These experiences can slowly chip away at a person’s self-confidence and reinforce the idea that they are not fully accepted in society. Over time, repeated acts of prejudice can lead to a diminished sense of self-worth.
For instance, if you face homophobic comments, you may begin to question your value or feel like an outsider, even in a space where you should and deserve to feel 100% safe. Cumulative trauma can make it hard for a LGBTQIA+ individual to feel comfortable in their own skin.
What are signs of low self-confidence from a self-esteem therapist?
Social withdrawal or isolation
Self-sabotage (Check out our blog “How to Stop Self-Sabotaging for Good”)
Comparing yourself to other people (Read our blog “How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Other People”)
Body language that signals insecurity (e.g., slouching, avoiding eye contact, etc.)
People-pleasing (Check out our popular blog “11 Reasons Why You Are A People Pleaser”)
Difficulty accepting compliments
Perfectionism (Our blog “Is Perfectionism A Coping Skill?” is a must-read)
Over-apologizing
Negative self-talk (Read our blog “Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) for Negative Self-Talk”)
Avoidance of challenge or opportunities
If you struggle with low self-confidence, read our blog “The Ultimate Guide to Building Self-Confidence.”
What is LGBTQIA+ grief?
LGBTQIA+ grief refers to the unique and complex experiences of loss that people in the community may face. Grief is a universal human experience. That is to say, everyone will experience grief at some point in time whether through the death of a loved one, the loss of a job, breaking up with a partner, and so on. However, for LGBTQIA+ individuals, grief intersects one’s identity and loss, and may be shaped by other influences, such as discrimination and rejection as a person. We can think of LGBTQIA+ grief as an emotional landscape where both systemic barriers and personal struggles are at play.
For many LGBTQIA+ people, coming out or simply living in their truth can lead to estrangement from family members, religious community members, friends, and other loved ones. The grief that stems from this loss of relationships can be very isolating as you may have previously relied on these people as sources of support in your life. Unlike typical grief, the emotional toll of rejection and living life with no safety net of group support makes LGBTQIA+ grief more complex. In some cases, LGBTQIA+ individuals may hold out hope for reconciliation which prolongs the grieving process.
LGBTQIA+ grief tends to include feelings of exclusion or invisibility within a wide societal or cultural context. When LGBTQIA+ individuals experience grief, they may have mixed emotions tied to the shared nature of loss that all human beings face and the unique challenges connected to their identity.
Some feelings LGBTQIA+ individuals may experience when grieving include:
Sadness (Read our blog “Sadness vs Depression: When To Get Help”)
Loneliness (Our blog “How to Battle the Loneliness Epidemic” is a must-read)
Anger and frustration (Check out our blog “The Most Important Things You Need to Know About Anger Management”)
Guilt and self-blame
Shame and insecurity
Fear and anxiety (Take our Anxiety Quiz to find out more information)
Yearning and regret
Empowerment and determination (Check out our blog “What You Need To Know to Find A Gender-Affirming Therapist”)
Healing from LGBTQIA+ grief involves acknowledging and validating the unique experiences surrounding this type of loss. Supportive LGBTQIA+ therapy, specifically with LGBTQIA+ affirming counselors, can help you process your emotions and build resilience.
How can I find the right LGBT therapist near me?
One of the most effective ways to find a LGBT therapist near me is to use the resources available to you. Perhaps this is looking online, searching directories, or taking your search to social media platforms.
When reviewing potential LGBTQIA+ therapists, it is important to ensure that they have experience with the LGBTQIA+ population. This could look like specific certifications, such as LGBTQIA+ affirmative training. Many psychotherapists do not shy away from listing their specific areas of expertise, so you can look for a therapist who mentions working with LGBTQIA+ clients. This way, you know that they likely have experience with some common topics of coming out, gender identity, family acceptance, or even navigating discrimination. These specializations ensure that the LGBTQIA+ affirming therapist can help give you the mental health care you need and deserve.
Once you have gathered a list of potential LGBTQ therapists, assess your potential comfort level with them. For example, as a gay man, maybe you prefer meeting with a therapist who shares your identity in that way. The relationship you have with your psychotherapist plays a major role in your mental health healing journey. It is important that you feel safe, heard, and respected by your LGBT therapist. Many psychotherapists offer phone call consultations prior to booking an intake session, therefore you can see if you are comfortable talking to them and that it is a good fit. During this time, you can ask them hard hitting questions like their stance on LGBTQIA+ affirming healthcare or their experience working with the LGBTQIA+ community.
You also should not overlook the logistics of mental health therapy to make sure that it fits your practical needs. Think about the location, your therapist’s availability, and so on. Maybe in-person visits are not feasible with your busy schedule, so you are looking for a provider for online therapy sessions.
What are some signs that I am working with a LGBT affirming therapist?
Active listening and validation
Respect for your identity
Knowledge of LGBTQIA+ issues
Comfortable discussing sexual orientation and gender identity
Non-pathologizing approach
Safe, inclusive environment
Support for family dynamics and advocacy
Cultural competence and intersectionality awareness
Finding the right LGBTQ therapist is an important step towards healing and further self-discovery. Take your time to research and ask questions to a therapist who will provide a safe and affirming space so you can explore your identity.
What are some effective trauma-informed approaches in therapy for LGBTQIA+ clients?
At Anchor Therapy, we offer effective trauma-informed therapeutic approaches specifically for LGBTQIA+ clients. Our LGBT affirming therapists prioritize creating a safe, supportive setting for clients that acknowledges and addresses the unique challenges that LGBTQIA+ people face, including rejection; violence; and discrimination.
What are the benefits of working with LGBTQ friendly therapists near me?
Access to LGBTQIA+ resources
Safe space to discuss sensitive topics
Affirming mental health practice
Support for intersectional identities
Empowerment and self-discovery
Healing from trauma and discrimination
Guidance on healthy relationships and boundaries (View our blog “How to Understand and Develop Boundaries in Relationships”)
Reduction of mental health stigma
Affirmation of identity
Understanding of LGBTQIA+ people and their struggles
One approach we use to treat trauma is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, often simply referred to as CBT. CBT is a structured, goal-oriented form of therapy where the focus is on identifying, challenging, and changing negative thought patterns, beliefs, and behaviors.
CBT can be highly effective for the LGBTQIA+ population as it addresses the mental and emotional health impact of trauma on an individual, such as in the form of anxiety, depression, or PTSD. A trauma-informed CBT approach can address experiences of homophobia, transphobia, or negative self-beliefs related to one’s gender identity or sexual orientation.
In CBT for trauma, you may even come to recognize how your distorted thinking is related to societal rejection or family trauma. Becoming aware of the source of your emotional distress can help you better manage your emotions and your reactions to discrimination to reduce feelings of self-blame and inadequacy. For more information on this topic, check out our blog “How to Regulate Your Emotions.”
EMDR, or Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, is another effective therapeutic approach for trauma. EMDR for LGBTQIA+ trauma can help you process and reframe traumatic memories. Through the use of bilateral stimulation, you recall traumatic events which helps integrate these memories into a more adaptive frame.
Overall, you do not have to struggle with LGBTQIA+ trauma on your own. Our LGBT therapists are here to help you recover and rebuild your sense of self-worth!
Victoria Scala
is the Social Media Manager, Intake Coordinator, and Community Engagement Director at Anchor Therapy in Hoboken, New Jersey. She is a graduate of the Honors College of Rutgers University-Newark and is currently studying Clinical Mental Health Counseling at the graduate level. In her roles, Victoria is committed to managing the office’s social media/community presence and prioritizing clients' needs.
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