Scapegoating in Families, family counseling, Hoboken NJ therapist, Jersey City NJ therapist, hudson county therapist
Courtney Glashow
Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in ...

Scapegoating means that you are blaming a person or group for something bad that has happened or for something that someone else has done. Scapegoating typically occurs to protect the image of a person or family. In a family dynamic, a person may be used as the scapegoat to protect a more favored member in the family. While it is common for one person to be used as the scapegoat, it can happen to multiple people.

Scapegoating can occur in different environments, such as work, but it is most prominent in unhealthy family dynamics. In this case, scapegoating then tends to start in childhood when a child is blamed for all of a family’s dysfunction and problems. A scapegoat bears the burden of taking on the mistakes of a family or team. 

When children are assigned this role at a young age, it can wreak havoc on their mental health. A scapegoated child may not believe that they are inherently good, worthy, or lovable. Instead, they hear insults regularly, experience constant bullying, and even abuse and neglect. This leads to a low self-esteem, decreased self-confidence, and negative self-talk. 

Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in Families
toxic relationship, relationship counseling, couples therapy, hoboken therapist, jersey city therapist, marriage counseling, nj therapist, nyc therapist, premarital counseling
Courtney Glashow
How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship

When you are in a healthy relationship, it naturally functions well. Of course, like any couple, you may have disagreements from time-to-time or there may be some hard times, but you band together no matter what. You are able to make major life decisions together, discuss problems once they occur, and genuinely enjoy spending time with one another.

On the other hand, you have toxic relationships. In a toxic relationship, the ‘norm’ is feeling drained and unhappy after spending time with your partner. This should be a major red flag that some things need to change.

You may still love your partner, but the relationship does not seem enjoyable. Maybe minor issues turn into full-blown arguments or you always seem to provoke one another. It may even get so severe that you dread spending time with your partner instead of getting excited to see them, like you were in the past.

Continue reading this blog to see if your relationship is toxic, and some guidance on how to navigate a toxic relationship.

How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship
Intergenerational Trauma, trauma counseling, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational ...

Disney has a way of exploring heavier life topics that can help children and the 2021 film Encanto is no exception. Movies like Inside Out and Soul also assist children in exploring heavier aspects of life, such as emotions, trauma, consciousness, and even death. Encanto joins the long list of children’s movies that have a deeper message.

Disney’s Encanto offers a multigenerational story about a grandmother and her family who have been endowed with magical gifts. The Madrigal family lives in a hidden village in Colombia. While each family member does their best to live up to their reputation and help others in the community, the facade slowly begins to crumble figuratively and literally in the house that all three generations share.
Not only do people love this movie because of its catchy soundtrack, including the famous song “We don’t talk about Bruno”, but people also love it because of its exploration of generational trauma.

Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational Trauma Right
control issues, mental health blog, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues

Do you have a hard time going with the flow? Do you have to follow a schedule or routine at all times? Do you try to control other people in your life? If you are dealing with control issues, it is likely that you feel like you must exert power over your life, relationships, and general environment. In some cases, this exertion of power may extend to the life of other people.

Control can simply be defined as exerting influence or power over the environment, actions, and behaviors of yourself or another person. There are many reasons why you may feel like you need to be in control, such as insecurities or fear of the unpredictable. At times, your need for control may become overwhelming and tiring, causing chaos in your career, relationships, and your overall quality of life.

7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues
couples therapy, hoboken counseling, jersey city therapist, mental health blog, nyc counselor, relationship counseling
Courtney Glashow
8 Tips for Dealing With A Narcissist

While some people may be quick to throw the word “narcissist” around, it is important to remember that there is a distinction between someone being self-centered and unsympathetic, and someone who has Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Many people may have what doctors call narcissistic characteristics, such as feeling entitled or having a strong sense of self-importance. People who have narcissistic personality disorder may be challenging to deal with.

The first step to determine your dynamic with someone who you think is a narcissist is to know the difference between someone with narcissistic tendencies and someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

8 Tips for Dealing With A Narcissist

jersey city

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Does ADHD Get Better With Age?

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Does ADHD Get Better With Age?

When it comes to Attention-Deficit-Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), many children, teens, and adults may wonder if ADHD challenges will subside with age. Typically, ADHD is associated with children and teens who struggle with focus, impulsivity, and hyperactivity. For more information, read our blog “Parenting A Child With ADHD.” But did you know that ADHD can impact adults as well? To learn more information on this topic, check out our blog “CBT for Adult ADHD.”


ADHD is a lifelong neurodevelopmental condition which means that symptoms can persist into adulthood; however, ADHD symptoms may manifest differently over time. As you grow older, you will often develop healthy coping strategies and skills which can help you manage your ADHD symptoms more effectively. 


For example, as an adult with ADHD you may face less issues surrounding hyperactivity and more concern over focus and organization. Life transitions,career paths, and other environmental factors can influence how ADHD symptoms present over time. That is to say, while ADHD never fully goes away, it can look different and feel more manageable as you get older.

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5 Ways Exercise Benefits Your Mental Health

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5 Ways Exercise Benefits Your Mental Health

Typically, when you think of exercise, the physical benefits of movement immediately come to mind. It is known that regular exercise can help you:

  • Control your weight

  • Reduce your risk of diabetes

  • Lower your blood pressure

  • Increase your energy

In addition to these amazing advantages, did you know that exercise has psychological benefits as well?

Regular exercise has been proven to keep your memory sharp and ease symptoms of depression and anxiety. Lifestyle modifications are often used to improve quality of life and overall health, and exercise is no exception to these adjustments. Lifestyle changes that highlight moderate-intensity activity are the most beneficial. Additionally, the positive effects of movement on mental health encompass self-efficacy, social interaction, and distraction. Exercise has the ability to enhance your self-efficacy, also known as the belief in your capabilities. Movement can act as a form of social interaction in various ways. For instance, you may have a ‘workout buddy’ or you may engage in group classes. Lastly, exercise can act as a distraction from life stressors, giving you much needed time to mentally rejuvenate.

If you would like to learn about the mental health benefits of exercise, keep reading!

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How Meditation Can Lead To Stress Reduction

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How Meditation Can Lead To Stress Reduction

As the COVID-19 pandemic is slowly coming to a halt and safety precautions are being lifted, people are returning to their pre-pandemic lives. The embrace of packed schedules can unfortunately create stress. A lot of people are feeling stressed during these times, particularly with work or school-related stress.

Some stressful life events may include:

  • Job loss

  • Starting a new job

  • Moving

  • Death of a loved one

  • Major illness or injury

  • Divorce

  • Marriage

  • Retirement

  • Transitioning to adulthood

  • Pregnancy

Broadly, stress can be described as a change that creates physical, emotional, or psychological tension. To help ease your worries, you can turn to meditation. Meditation is the active practice of training your concentration and awareness to achieve a clear and serene mental and emotional state.

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How to be Alone without Being Lonely

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How to be Alone without Being Lonely

As COVID-19 is coming to an end, everyone is adopting new changes yet again. While some people may be back in the office, others may be continuing to work remotely. People who were continuously surrounded by family or their ‘quarantine team’ for the past year and a half, may now be alone, getting back into the swing of a full-time schedule. Loneliness happens when you feel like your social and emotional needs are not being fulfilled. On the other hand, being alone can be a refreshing experience where you find much-needed serenity and solitude.

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How To Return To "Normal" With Post Pandemic Anxiety

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How To Return To "Normal" With Post Pandemic Anxiety

As we are starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel with the COVID-19 pandemic some people are starting to experience anxiety about having to return to their “normal” life. Since the pandemic lasted over a year, a lot of people have adjusted to a new normal that they’re now comfortable with. Because we have been told to stay home more and physically socially distance from others, it has led to people spending more and more time with the family they live with and people in their quarantine bubble. A lot of people had the luxury of working from home or anywhere that they can get access to WiFi. This led many people to move to a new location since they could truly work from anywhere. Now that millions of Americans are getting vaccinated, businesses and people in general are starting to discuss how they will operate after the COVID-19 is no longer a high risk. The thought about returning to normal has caused many people to feel anxious about making this transition.

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How To Understand and Develop Boundaries in Relationships

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How To Understand and Develop Boundaries in Relationships

The word “boundaries” gets thrown around often. What even are boundaries? Simply put, boundaries are guidelines or limits that send others a clear message. Boundaries are important for establishing a healthy relationship. Some of your current relationships may be lacking some boundaries at this time. It is not impossible to establish new boundaries, however it will take work, determination, and respect. Creating boundaries with family and friends can be very difficult. You have had a certain relationship with these individuals for months or years, and making changes in relationships is not a simple task.

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WandaVision: How It Got The 5 Stages Of Grief Right

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WandaVision: How It Got The 5 Stages Of Grief Right

WandaVision is an amazing show that aired on Disney+ as part of the Marvel Universe. It is definitely a must watch show if you love Marvel films. The premise of the show is that Wanda is a character who has suffered from a lot of loss and trauma throughout her life. She then fell in love with her partner Vision who she planned to spend the rest of her life with. After Wanda suffered the loss of her twin brother, her partner Vision then died. Because this is part of the Marvel Universe, Wanda also has intense superpowers in which she has a hard time controlling. Her immense amount of grief brings Wanda through the 5 stages of grief throughout this show in a very realistic way. Anyone who has been through a loss can relate to what Wanda seems to be going through.

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Senioritis vs Depression: How To Decode Your Teen

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Senioritis vs Depression: How To Decode Your Teen

The time of year is approaching when senior year teens in high school are anxiously waiting for their grade school years to end. Your teen may already know what college they are going to, they may be waiting to see what college(s) they get into, or they may be figuring out something different to do after graduation. The final countdown to the end of high school is quickly approaching which can be a very exciting time, but it can also lead to many emotions and sometimes issues. It could be hard to tell if your teen has a lack of motivation, is feeling depressed, and/or has senioritis. I am here to help talk you through some of the differences to look out for.

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Processing 2020 And Looking Forward Into The New Year

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Processing 2020 And Looking Forward Into The New Year

This previous year of 2020 has definitely been a tough one for just about everyone. It’s important to acknowledge that we made it through the year, and you are forging forward. Many people have experienced losses and challenges since the COVID-19 virus began. Those losses may have been the life of a loved one, a job, a business, a recent living environment, and major life events.

You may have had to postpone, reschedule, or cancel your wedding plans or a special celebration. Maybe you had a virtual party for a once in a lifetime event. Many of you had not planned to celebrate your birthday the way that you did this year. The number of trips you tried to plan and had to cancel is becoming too large to count on one hand. You had planned to switch jobs or were up for a promotion, and that was put on hold in March.

These losses and challenges may have created a lasting impression on you, and it’s okay to need assistance in processing these emotions. In order to move forward, it can be helpful to look back and process your emotions of the past year.

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“High Functioning Addict”: Spot The Signs And How To Get Help

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“High Functioning Addict”: Spot The Signs And How To Get Help

Many of us have heard of the term “high functioning addict”, yet this term is a bit of an oxymoron. This concept references individuals that use substances frequently but have yet to hit the notion of a “rock bottom”. They do not fit the typical media stereotype of an addict- someone who is using all day long, struggling with unemployment, estranged from family, and not being able to handle any responsibilities.

“High functioning addicts” balance successful careers, manage their household responsibilities, lead active social lives while keeping their substance use private and hidden from loved ones. These individuals have managed to avoid a “rock bottom”. High functioning addicts tend to feel that their substance use is a bit excessive, but largely under control because their career, family, money and social life continue to function.

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How To Navigate Holiday Planning Stress During A Pandemic

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How To Navigate Holiday Planning Stress During A Pandemic

Normally, the holidays can be a stressful time to plan around different family, friend, and job celebrations. With the COVID-19 pandemic, the stress of the holidays has been at an all time high. With the colder weather approaching along with the holiday season, a lot of people are worried how they will continue to socialize safely with others. The best part about the holiday season is that you are spending time with people you care most about. It is typical to see some family or friends once a year due to the holidays. This year, it is not only hard to travel but it is also stressful to figure out how to plan holiday celebrations while feeling safe.

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7 Mental Health Tips For Getting Through Election Season

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7 Mental Health Tips For Getting Through Election Season

As a therapist, I have been seeing an increase in anxiety and stress due to the election season. With election day coming up, a lot of people are feeling scared, hopeless, nervous, angry, confused, and are experiencing relationship issues with others who oppose their views. All of these feelings are very normal and valid to have right now. If you are experiencing anxiety or stress due to the election, below are some tips to take that could help you get through each day. These tips are not meant to replace your need to take action during this time or to blind you from what is happening in our political climate right now. The goal here is to create awareness if are feeling overwhelmed and to take some time to better your mental health along the way.

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5 Ways Marriage Counseling Can Get You Back on Track After Having a Baby

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5 Ways Marriage Counseling Can Get You Back on Track After Having a Baby

Having a baby is an exciting, scary, and all-consuming time in the lives of any couple growing their family. As a marriage counselor, it’s important to recognize that a new baby also brings a new set of challenges. If you start to feel like your marriage has taken a back seat to everything else life is throwing at you, it may be time to consider asking for help to get back on track.

Where there was once time for your partner and your own personal time, the schedule may now be packed with feedings, diaper changes, chores, and what seems to be an endless to-do list. When every moment of the day has to be scheduled and you add a global pandemic to the equation, connecting with your partner could unknowingly fall to the bottom of the priority list.

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The Anxiety and Uncertainty of Planning a Wedding during a Pandemic

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The Anxiety and Uncertainty of Planning a Wedding during a Pandemic

The COVID-19 pandemic has left many Brides with feelings of uncertainty. If you are planning a wedding during this pandemic, those moments of uncertainty are likely magnified with feelings of anxiety, fear, and frustration. So many Brides and couples planning weddings right now are struggling to manage the planning process. As a psychotherapist, I can give you some tools that can be used to help you cope with the stress of planning.

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Top Reasons Depression Is Increasing For Athletes During COVID-19

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Top Reasons Depression Is Increasing For Athletes During COVID-19

The pandemic has been a difficult time for everyone, but one group of people who are experiencing increased symptoms of depression are athletes. Since March 2020, most sports were completely cancelled. Now that the fall is starting up with a new sports season, some sports are able to return. But a lot of sports remain cancelled or postponed. Athletes find a lot of purpose, motivation, and validation from competing in their sport. Due to COVID-19, this may be the first time in many years that an athlete does not have their sport to train for and feels empty.

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How To Reclaim Your Work-Life Balance During COVID-19 [Part 2]

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How To Reclaim Your Work-Life Balance During COVID-19 [Part 2]

A lot of people are having difficulty finding a balance between work life and personal life when operating both from the same space. As working from home continues for most due to COVID-19, this ever-looming concern becomes more and more apparent. While most people did not expect to work from home for this long, it is likely to continue for a longer period of time. As a mental health professional, I list some tips that i tell my clients which can also help you make it through this difficult time.

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Anchor Therapy Is Expanding Counseling Services in Hoboken, NJ!

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Anchor Therapy Is Expanding Counseling Services in Hoboken, NJ!

At Anchor Therapy, located in Hoboken, NJ, we are currently accepting new clients and are now providing telehealth (video & phone) sessions for residents of New Jersey and New York.

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How To Reclaim Your Work-Life Balance During COVID-19

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How To Reclaim Your Work-Life Balance During COVID-19

Over the last few months I have been hearing one issue time and time again for many, if not all, of my clients attending therapy who are working from home: the difficulty between finding a balance between work life and personal life when operating both from the same space. As we approach the 6th month of working from home due to COVID-19, this ever-looming concern becomes more and more apparent. While most did not anticipate working from home for this long, it seems as if this is a likely reality for many moving forward. (Google just announced their workers would be working from home until summer 2021).

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The Top Causes of Depression

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The Top Causes of Depression

Depression can impact anyone for a multitude of reasons. There is a lot of research into the cause of depression and there is not just one clear answer. There could be multiple reasons as to why you feel depressive symptoms. These causes can be broken down into two main categories that include biological factors and environmental factors. It is possible that you have one or both of these factors impacting your mood. Below I will discuss what falls under these two categories in detail.

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How To Support Your LGBTQ+ Teen

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How To Support Your LGBTQ+ Teen

Your pre-teen and teenage years are filled with time of exploring the world and how you fit in it. Identity becomes a huge topic of exploration for most teens. Your teen may be contemplating anything from as simple as their future career goals up to their gender identity or sexual orientation. This is typically a time that you may find your teen to come out to you by identifying as being a part of the LGBTQ+ community. As a parent, no matter how accepting you are, this may come as a surprise to you and it may take some time to process. Once you have processed this new information, you can then take some extra steps to support your teen as they navigate their new identity and grow into an adult.