Scapegoating means that you are blaming a person or group for something bad that has happened or for something that someone else has done. Scapegoating typically occurs to protect the image of a person or family. In a family dynamic, a person may be used as the scapegoat to protect a more favored member in the family. While it is common for one person to be used as the scapegoat, it can happen to multiple people.
Scapegoating can occur in different environments, such as work, but it is most prominent in unhealthy family dynamics. In this case, scapegoating then tends to start in childhood when a child is blamed for all of a family’s dysfunction and problems. A scapegoat bears the burden of taking on the mistakes of a family or team.
When children are assigned this role at a young age, it can wreak havoc on their mental health. A scapegoated child may not believe that they are inherently good, worthy, or lovable. Instead, they hear insults regularly, experience constant bullying, and even abuse and neglect. This leads to a low self-esteem, decreased self-confidence, and negative self-talk.
Love bombing is a specific type of emotional abuse. It is a tactic where someone will “bomb” you with extreme displays of affection and attention. While it may seem like this person has fallen head over heels and madly in love with you, there is a darker truth to the matter. A love bomber is using their grand gestures with the intent of manipulating you.
Being showered with love and affection can feel good and even positive at the very beginning of the relationship, but it can lead to serious issues down the road, like gaslighting and abuse. Love bombing is a very common tactic used by narcissists and sociopaths in relationships so they can control you.
When you are in a healthy relationship, it naturally functions well. Of course, like any couple, you may have disagreements from time-to-time or there may be some hard times, but you band together no matter what. You are able to make major life decisions together, discuss problems once they occur, and genuinely enjoy spending time with one another.
On the other hand, you have toxic relationships. In a toxic relationship, the ‘norm’ is feeling drained and unhappy after spending time with your partner. This should be a major red flag that some things need to change.
You may still love your partner, but the relationship does not seem enjoyable. Maybe minor issues turn into full-blown arguments or you always seem to provoke one another. It may even get so severe that you dread spending time with your partner instead of getting excited to see them, like you were in the past.
Continue reading this blog to see if your relationship is toxic, and some guidance on how to navigate a toxic relationship.
Disney has a way of exploring heavier life topics that can help children and the 2021 film Encanto is no exception. Movies like Inside Out and Soul also assist children in exploring heavier aspects of life, such as emotions, trauma, consciousness, and even death. Encanto joins the long list of children’s movies that have a deeper message.
Disney’s Encanto offers a multigenerational story about a grandmother and her family who have been endowed with magical gifts. The Madrigal family lives in a hidden village in Colombia. While each family member does their best to live up to their reputation and help others in the community, the facade slowly begins to crumble figuratively and literally in the house that all three generations share.
Not only do people love this movie because of its catchy soundtrack, including the famous song “We don’t talk about Bruno”, but people also love it because of its exploration of generational trauma.
Do you have a hard time going with the flow? Do you have to follow a schedule or routine at all times? Do you try to control other people in your life? If you are dealing with control issues, it is likely that you feel like you must exert power over your life, relationships, and general environment. In some cases, this exertion of power may extend to the life of other people.
Control can simply be defined as exerting influence or power over the environment, actions, and behaviors of yourself or another person. There are many reasons why you may feel like you need to be in control, such as insecurities or fear of the unpredictable. At times, your need for control may become overwhelming and tiring, causing chaos in your career, relationships, and your overall quality of life.
Stress is an inevitable part of life. From worrying about an upcoming exam to stressing about managing a healthy work-life balance, it seems that there is always a matter to worry about. Stress is an automatic reaction to a wearisome event, and it is completely normal. However, there may come a time when stress negatively impacts your life.
Stress has the unique ability to compromise how we think and feel. Stress can impact you both physically and mentally.
We are living in the age of anxiety. People are stressed in every sphere of their lives and there are new challenges everyday related to our jobs and our relationships with friends and family.
Anxiety actually has a purpose. Its natural function is to alert us to potential threats that allows us to evaluate and respond to them in appropriate ways. Anxiety can help us perform better and can stimulate creativity and action. Anxiety can actually be rewarding: putting oneself in a situation that may be terrifying initially, but powering through often comes with great rewards.
The COVID-19 pandemic undeniably altered the way that the world operates and the world of counseling is no exception. The world had to adapt in quick, efficient ways and teletherapy quickly came to the rescue. While online therapy existed prior to the global pandemic and we always provided it to our clients, the onset of COVID-19 greatly contributed to the rise in its popularity. Even in a post-pandemic world, many experts suspect that teletherapy is here to stay. So, what exactly is telehealth counseling?
Simply, telehealth therapy is a therapy that is provided by a licensed therapist via a secure online or phone connection. Modern software permits this type of online mental health support, ensuring the safety of personal information in therapy sessions. Online talking therapy can be more convenient for both the therapist and the client. Additionally, a significant amount of research has proven that telehealth counseling is just as effective as traditional, in-person counseling. Broadly, teletherapy is any form of remote therapy where a therapist and their client can communicate.
As COVID-19 is coming to an end, everyone is adopting new changes yet again. While some people may be back in the office, others may be continuing to work remotely. People who were continuously surrounded by family or their ‘quarantine team’ for the past year and a half, may now be alone, getting back into the swing of a full-time schedule. Loneliness happens when you feel like your social and emotional needs are not being fulfilled. On the other hand, being alone can be a refreshing experience where you find much-needed serenity and solitude.
At Anchor Therapy, we are currently accepting new clients and are now providing telehealth (video & phone) sessions for residents of New Jersey and New York as well as in-person sessions at our new office in downtown Hoboken, NJ! Anchor Therapy is a counseling center in Hoboken, NJ with psychotherapists specialized in helping children, teens, adults, and couples with anxiety, depression, relationship issues, trauma, substance abuse, addiction, identity, and life transitions.
Everyone experiences life transitions as they shift into a new chapter or role in their life. Some common examples are attending a new school, getting a new job, becoming a parent, getting married, losing someone, moving homes, opening a business, surviving a pandemic, and retiring. Since these life transitions are common and a lot of people experience them you may feel that you should be able to deal with it on your own since everyone else seems to. Just because others have experienced similar life transitions, it does not mean that it will be easy for you and you should not feel like you have to do it alone. In this blog I will discuss some common life transitions and how to cope with them. These coping tools can also apply to any life transition you are going through.
The time of year is approaching when senior year teens in high school are anxiously waiting for their grade school years to end. Your teen may already know what college they are going to, they may be waiting to see what college(s) they get into, or they may be figuring out something different to do after graduation. The final countdown to the end of high school is quickly approaching which can be a very exciting time, but it can also lead to many emotions and sometimes issues. It could be hard to tell if your teen has a lack of motivation, is feeling depressed, and/or has senioritis. I am here to help talk you through some of the differences to look out for.
Our LGBTQ+ Teen Group is our most popular support group for a reason. Most teens could use extra support from their peers to relate to and see that they are not alone in their struggles. Teens who identify as LGBTQ+ have a higher level of mental health issues and are in need of more support, acceptance, and guidance. When someone is questioning their identity, it is typically hard to know what to do about the possibility of coming out to others or how to process what they are feeling. Being in a group can help teens not only get support from likeminded peers, but it can also help them explore themselves more and find out who they truly are. A LGBTQ+ specific group provides the safe space needed to build a teen’s confidence.
Having a career in healthcare is extremely rewarding, but can leave you feeling emotionally drained. As a first responder and helping professional, you are always there to give a hand to others, but often find little time to care for yourself! Particularly during the pandemic, as a nurse, doctor or healthcare professional, you are stretched to the limit. You dedicate yourself to taking care of the emotional and physical needs of everyone else without a second thought to the traumatic toll it takes on you.
We all originally had wishful thinking that the pandemic would come and go. New York and New Jersey were hit especially hard- we went through astronomical numbers of sick and dead. You operated on a level of constant fear, panic and adrenaline. Now the numbers have dropped and the climate is adjusting to this new normal, but this can also be frightening. Reality is setting in that this may not be going away soon. With the winter coming and cases in New York and New Jersey rising again, we are looking at a second wave.
You are human! It would be impossible to go through an ordeal like this without any difficulties. It is important to take a look at how you are functioning and explore any signs of post-traumatic stress. As a healthcare first responder, you need to take care of yourself in order to help anyone else!
As a therapist, I have been seeing an increase in anxiety and stress due to the election season. With election day coming up, a lot of people are feeling scared, hopeless, nervous, angry, confused, and are experiencing relationship issues with others who oppose their views. All of these feelings are very normal and valid to have right now. If you are experiencing anxiety or stress due to the election, below are some tips to take that could help you get through each day. These tips are not meant to replace your need to take action during this time or to blind you from what is happening in our political climate right now. The goal here is to create awareness if are feeling overwhelmed and to take some time to better your mental health along the way.
Having a baby is an exciting, scary, and all-consuming time in the lives of any couple growing their family. As a marriage counselor, it’s important to recognize that a new baby also brings a new set of challenges. If you start to feel like your marriage has taken a back seat to everything else life is throwing at you, it may be time to consider asking for help to get back on track.
Where there was once time for your partner and your own personal time, the schedule may now be packed with feedings, diaper changes, chores, and what seems to be an endless to-do list. When every moment of the day has to be scheduled and you add a global pandemic to the equation, connecting with your partner could unknowingly fall to the bottom of the priority list.
The COVID-19 pandemic has left many Brides with feelings of uncertainty. If you are planning a wedding during this pandemic, those moments of uncertainty are likely magnified with feelings of anxiety, fear, and frustration. So many Brides and couples planning weddings right now are struggling to manage the planning process. As a psychotherapist, I can give you some tools that can be used to help you cope with the stress of planning.
When it comes to communicating as a couple, you may find that you or your partner’s defense mechanisms are getting in the way of healthy communication. This may lead to what feels like constant fighting and a fractured relationship. Defense mechanisms in a relationship can be really dangerous. This often looks like yelling, giving the silent treatment, eye rolling, making excuses, justifying behavior, or being sarcastic. These reactions will arise when you are in a conflict in your relationship and you begin to feel hurt, sad, or angry and your self-esteem is being threatened. These cycles can leave you feeling helpless; however, healthy communication is absolutely possible. By changing your subconscious cues, you can begin to break the cycle of fighting and create healthier communication.
It is common for a lot of adults to use alcohol or other substances as a way to socialize. Mainly, because alcohol and substances help to lower inhibitions and can help to increase the ability to be more open. Alcohol is easily accessible, and for some people, even part of cultural activities.
But for some people, that social and recreational activity of drinking or using substances becomes a problem, and can even lead to an addiction.
The pandemic has been a difficult time for everyone, but one group of people who are experiencing increased symptoms of depression are athletes. Since March 2020, most sports were completely cancelled. Now that the fall is starting up with a new sports season, some sports are able to return. But a lot of sports remain cancelled or postponed. Athletes find a lot of purpose, motivation, and validation from competing in their sport. Due to COVID-19, this may be the first time in many years that an athlete does not have their sport to train for and feels empty.
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