couples therapy nj

How to Use Anxious Attachment Therapy to Build Secure Attachment

How to Use Anxious Attachment Therapy to Build Secure Attachment

Are you struggling with anxious attachment patterns in your relationships? Do you feel abandoned when you are away from your partner? Do you find yourself needing constant reassurance from other people? How do you feel when a significant other or friend wants some alone time? If you find yourself fearing abandonment, needing constant reassurance, and feeling insecure, you are not alone in your relationship struggles.


An anxious attachment style can deeply impact your emotional welfare and ability to successfully connect with others. With that being said, with the right tools and mindset, you can move towards building a secure attachment style! A secure attachment style refers to a healthy, positive pattern of emotional bonding that occurs in a relationship. It is characterized by trust, comfort with intimacy, and the ability to rely on other people without a fear of rejection or abandonment. Specifically, with therapy for an anxious attachment style at Anchor Therapy, you can learn how to reframe your anxious thoughts into positive, more realistic ones to build better connections in your life, whether romantic or platonic!

How To Find In Person Therapy Near Me

How To Find In Person Therapy Near Me

Finding a therapist who is the right fit for you can be a challenging task to say the least. Now, when you try to find an in-person therapist near you, it may be extra harder. A therapist in Hoboken can give you expert mental health advice as well as a space where you feel safe and genuinely supported as a client and human being. With many therapy options available, finding a therapist near me who aligns with your needs, such as your area of concern or type of therapy you are seeking, and schedule can feel stressful. Whether you are dealing with anxiety, career stress, relationship issues, trauma, or are simply seeking personal growth, mental health counseling can be a tool for powerful transformation and self-improvement. 


Starting the search for the right therapist can seem daunting, particularly if you do not know where to start your therapist search or how to filter through your options of counselors. It can first be important to understand your own preferences when it comes to finding a psychotherapist, from specialization to treatment approach. Knowing what is most important to you will help make the search a little easier and ensure that you find a therapist that truly fits your needs. For extra support with this process, check out our blog “How to Find The Best Therapist Near Me.”

How Does Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) Affect You Mentally?

How Does Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) Affect You Mentally?

Polycystic Ovary Syndrome, simply referred to as PCOS, is a hormonal disorder that impacts women who are of reproductive age. While the cause of PCOS is not well known, we do know that it causes enlarged ovaries with small cysts on the outer edges. Health experts believe a combination of genetic and environmental factors are at play with this disorder. 

The effects of PCOS are still being studied, but we know that those with the disorder can experience a wide range of mental health concerns, from anxiety and depression to eating disorders and low self-esteem. Continue reading this blog to figure out how PCOS may be impacting you mentally and emotionally, and what you can do to cope.

What are the goals of psychodynamic therapy?

What are the goals of psychodynamic therapy?

If you have attended therapy or have an idea of what mental health counseling looks like in your head, one of the first things that comes to mind is likely the question, “How does that make you feel?”. Think about any therapy reference in popular culture and some form of that question is likely present. With that being said, some of the more popular, modern types of therapy, such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), do not place this question at the forefront of counseling sessions.


Psychodynamic therapy can be applied for a variety of mental health concerns; however, many people may not know about this therapeutic practice. Psychodynamic therapy offers a holistic approach to mental health care. To learn more, continue reading this blog!

How to Navigate Insecurity After Infidelity

How to Navigate Insecurity After Infidelity

Infidelities, affairs, and cheating can erode a relationship, the couple as a unit, and the self-esteem of those who have been cheated on. Most people blame themselves for their partner’s decision to be unfaithful.

When you first found out that your partner, fiance, or spouse cheated on you, it was likely a shock to your system. The emotional impact of infidelity can carry long-term consequences and even disrupt your view of yourself and the world around you. You may think that you are less-than or that no one should be trusted moving forward.

You once felt safe and loved and, now, that image has disappeared. So, what else in your life could change? Infidelity can be damaging, but it can also provide an opportunity for personal growth. 

If you decide to stay with your partner, it can be a chance to strengthen your relationship and fix the cracks. If you decide to leave your partner, you may find yourself increasing your dating standards. There is no right or wrong answer here- you ultimately know what is best for you. Regardless of your situation, you can take certain steps to overcome the insecurities you are facing post-infidelity.

The 7 Ways To Make A Relationship Work According to John Gottman

The 7 Ways To Make A Relationship Work According to John Gottman

The Gottman Method is a type of couples therapy and form of psychoeducation that comes from the work of Dr. John Gottman, an American psychologist and researcher. For over 40 years, Dr. Gottman studied and analyzed what makes a couple successful versus the times when there is trouble in paradise. Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman, the wife of Dr. John Gottman, created the Gottman Method, or the clinical treatment framework. Together, the dynamic duo launched the Gottman Institute. 

The Gottman Method is a distinct form of couples therapy. What differentiates this form of counseling from other types of therapy is the extensive scientific research that the Method is grounded in. If you are interested in learning more about the Gottman Method and how it may assist you and your significant other, keep on scrolling!

Are You In A Relationship With A Controlling Partner?

Are You In A Relationship With A Controlling Partner?

A relationship is based on mutual respect, satisfaction, and love. When negative qualities begin to creep in and dominate your relationship instead, your connection can take an unhealthy turn rather quickly. Control issues can manifest different ways depending on the type of romantic connection present. Control issues may not even be noticeable in the beginning of a relationship.

Control issues can be very harmful to a relationship. Whether you are the controller or feel like you are the partner being controlled, you may not even notice it until the damage to your relationship has already ensued. 

6 Benefits of Polyamorous Couples Therapy

6 Benefits of Polyamorous Couples Therapy

Non-monogamy is a general term for any relationship outside of monogamy, including polyamory. Polyamory is a specific type of non-monogamy. Polyamory is when a person or partners have multiple romantic connections. The word “polyamory” actually has its roots in Greek and Latin meaning “many loves.”

Polyamorous relationships can include emotional connection as well as sexual activity. In polyamorous relationships, everyone is aware of the type of relationship they are in and mutual consent is given.

In recent years, polyamorous relationships have grown in popularity and even become more mainstream due to their presence in the media, such as seen on Dr. Orna Guralnik’s show Couples Therapy. For a breakdown on this hit television show, read our past blog “Dr. Orna Guralnik’s Couples Therapy Show: A Window Into Real Relationships.” While more people know about polyamorous relationships, there may be a lack of resources for those involved in these types of connections. At Anchor Therapy, we have couples counselors who specialize in polyamorous relationships. 

The Psychology of Situationships: Are They Toxic?

The Psychology of Situationships: Are They Toxic?

If you have ever been with someone, but not really with someone, then you have likely been in a situationship. You are more than friends but you are not exactly in a relationship. You are making last-minute plans, talking inconsistently, and your romantic connection is not exactly defined. In modern culture, casual relationships are extremely common. What was first known as a “booty call” morphed into “friends with benefits” and it is now known as a “situationship.”

If it was a movie, you and your situationship would witness the blossoming of friendship into an official romantic relationship. You two would fall in love and live happily ever after. But, as you may have guessed, life is not a picture-perfect movie and things do not always work out as you wish they would. The real question is - are situationships unhealthy?

Dr. Orna Guralnik's Couples Therapy Show: A Window into Real Relationships

Dr. Orna Guralnik's Couples Therapy Show: A Window into Real Relationships

Dr. Orna Guralnik, is a New York City-based Clinical Psychologist and Psychoanalyst, who rose to fame due to her hit Showtime television show, Couples Therapy. Couples Therapy is a documentary series that follows couples as they try to navigate their troubles and concerns. This unscripted series features real couples from the greater New York City area.

As viewers work through the show’s three seasons, they are taught to view the therapeutic process through a lens of compassion and empathy instead of hastiness. Episode by episode, viewers are immersed into the real world of couples counseling, viewing the progress and occasional backsliding of couples.

4 Ways to Manage Your Relationship Anxiety

4 Ways to Manage Your Relationship Anxiety

Relationship anxiety can simply be defined as feelings of insecurity, worry, and doubt about your relationship, making you question your compatibility and future with your partner. Contrary to what you might believe, it is normal to have some level of anxiety about your relationship. You may question your significant other’s past partner or question if your long-term goals match up. But, if your relationship anxiety is beginning to cause severe issues for you, it is a sign that something is off.

Relationship anxiety can become an issue when it interferes with the growth of your relationship or even impacts other areas of your life, such as not being able to concentrate at the office. To help with this, read our blog “3 Ways to Achieve Work-Life Balance.” 

When you are feeling insecure in your relationship, you may feel easily stressed. In other cases, you may have a hard time deciphering your emotions. This inability to process your feelings can have problematic results, like separation anxiety or even burnout for your relationship.

4 Communication Tips Couples Need To Know

4 Communication Tips Couples Need To Know

In order for the success of any relationship, open and honest communication is a must. Relationships are emotional, therefore they rely on interpersonal nonverbal and verbal exchanges of communication amongst the people involved. Most relationships and marriages start out with the idea of success but, without putting in the work, a relationship can turn sour very quickly. When you share a child with your partner or are co-parenting, communication is even more important. If you just welcomed a baby into the world, check out our blog “Building A Stronger Relationship With Your Partner Post-Baby.”

Communication does not always come easily, whether you are discussing something with a romantic partner or co-worker. While some people have no issue communicating in a direct and respectful manner, other people may have trouble expressing themselves. If you resonate with the latter, it can be hard to maintain healthy relationships.

Continue reading to learn about different communication styles and how you can improve your conversations with your partner!

How To Survive Your In-Laws: A Guide To Family Therapy

How To Survive Your In-Laws: A Guide To Family Therapy

If you find it difficult to deal with your in-laws, you are not alone. On some level, every couple struggles with their in-laws from time to time. Just because you may be dealing with some issues with your in-laws, it does not mean that you have an unhealthy relationship. It all comes down to how you tackle the problem together as a team. If you believe you may be in an unhealthy partnership, check out our blog “How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship.” 

What you will learn quickly through your exploration together as a couple in mental health counseling sessions is that seeing eye-to-eye with your partner about your in-laws matters more than seeing eye-to-eye with your in-laws. 

Learning how to build a relationship with your in-laws is challenging for many couples. You can choose to view it as a chore that you want to quickly and insufficiently fix or as a ‘project’ to tackle together as a couple. This ‘project’ includes communication, trust, and effort.

What We Learned From The Relationship Dynamic of Succession’s Shiv and Tom

What We Learned From The Relationship Dynamic of Succession’s Shiv and Tom

Succession, a comedy-drama television series, has been a HBO hit show since its release in 2018. The television series follows the Roy family who are the owners of Waystar Roy Company, a global media and entertainment empire. The family’s patriarch, Logan Roy, runs the show at Waystar Roy Company while his four children fight for control of the company due to Logan’s wavering health.

Logan has four children- three sons and one daughter. Logan’s oldest son Connor Roy is generally estranged from the family, and does not have much interest in the family company. Instead, Connor has readjusted his interest to politics, setting his sights on the United States presidency. Next is Logan’s power-hungry son, Kendall Roy. Kendall wants to take over the company but has not yet been able to gain his dad’s full vote of confidence. One part of Kendall’s rocky professional and personal relationships is his struggle with substance abuse. Logan’s third son, Roman Roy, is perhaps one of the most dynamic characters of the show, but his constant lack of focus and low maturity level prevent him from advancing in the company. Finally, Siobhan Roy, also known as “Shiv”, has natural leadership skills and closely resembles her father. At first, she rather put her focus into politics, working as a political consultant; however, she decides to jump ship to Waystar once she spots an opportunity. 

One of the most interesting relationship dynamics of the series is the connection between Shiv Roy and her husband, Tom Wambsgans. For any fan of the hit-show Succession, the power differences between Shiv and Tom seem apparent. From Shiv’s tense looks and cutthroat nature to Tom’s vulnerability and looks of defeat after conversations with the Roy family, their relationship is dictated by power differences and incomplete exchanges.

How to Heal After Infidelity

How to Heal After Infidelity

The truth is that working through an affair in a relationship is difficult. On both sides, it requires a great deal of vulnerability, energy, time, work, and commitment. Affair recovery is a process of healing your relationship on a mental, emotional, and physical level after infidelity occurs. Typically, the process of recovery after infidelity can take anywhere from six months to two years, but it is important to remember that each couple is unique. For some couples, it may take a little shorter or longer to fully recover.

The painful process of recovery after an affair requires compassion, strength, and humility. An affair does equate to intense emotional pain; however, that pain does not have to end a relationship. There are ways to rebuild your connection with your partner even after an affair if you are both willing and able to put in the work.

Don’t Worry Darling: How It Portrays Toxic Relationships

Don’t Worry Darling: How It Portrays Toxic Relationships

*Spoilers about the film Don’t Worry Darling ahead!*

In 2022, director, Olivia Wilde, produced the film Don’t Worry Darling, starring Harry Styles and Florence Pugh. Florence's character is Alice and Harry Styles depicts her husband Jack. The film follows Alice and Jack’s marriage as they live in a utopian place called Victory Town. While the lives and partnership of Alice and Jack seems perfect at first, the cracks in their relationship are revealed throughout the course of the film. The “once-perfect” relationship we saw between Alice and Jack dissolves, and the audience witnesses their connection for what it truly is- a toxic relationship. 

Becoming trapped in a toxic relationship can happen easily. When you are being manipulated and gaslighted, it can be hard to create an exit plan or to even see the warning signs. When caught in these relationships, you can develop feelings of anxiety and depression along with low self esteem for always being scrutinized and belittled. Being able to recognize the toxic antics of your partner can save you from a downward spiral of emotions. If you are struggling, do not hesitate to reach out to a licensed therapist today. Seeking counseling can be on the individual level, and can benefit the couple as well.  

Continue reading along if you want to learn more about the role of toxic relationships in the hit film Don’t Worry Darling.  

Is Premarital Counseling for Me?

Is Premarital Counseling for Me?

If you are engaged, you may be questioning if premarital counseling is worth it. Maybe you are simply thinking of getting engaged or a bit farther down the road, already booking a venue and inviting your friends and family to share your special day with you. Whatever the case is for you, you have undoubtedly invested a lot into your proposal and/or wedding, including your time, money, and energy. It is easy to primarily focus on the ideal proposal or ceremony while overlooking the amount of work it takes to create an ideal partnership. 

In preparation for a wedding, there are many tasks to complete, and it may seem like your to-do list is never-ending. While you are caught up in the hustle and bustle of planning a wedding, do not forget the most important thing- building a secure foundation to build upon with your partner. Your wedding is an amazing and life-changing moment in your life, but it is one day. It will come and go while your relationship will last a lifetime. Premarital counseling will give you and your partner the chance to come together and prepare for the life and family you will be creating together.

How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship

How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship

When you are in a healthy relationship, it naturally functions well. Of course, like any couple, you may have disagreements from time-to-time or there may be some hard times, but you band together no matter what. You are able to make major life decisions together, discuss problems once they occur, and genuinely enjoy spending time with one another.

On the other hand, you have toxic relationships. In a toxic relationship, the ‘norm’ is feeling drained and unhappy after spending time with your partner. This should be a major red flag that some things need to change.

You may still love your partner, but the relationship does not seem enjoyable. Maybe minor issues turn into full-blown arguments or you always seem to provoke one another. It may even get so severe that you dread spending time with your partner instead of getting excited to see them, like you were in the past.

Continue reading this blog to see if your relationship is toxic, and some guidance on how to navigate a toxic relationship.

How LGBTQIA+ Couples Counseling Is Unique

How LGBTQIA+ Couples Counseling Is Unique

Are you in a LGBTQIA+ relationship and experiencing frequent conflicts or disagreements in your relationship? Do you and your partner struggle with meaningful connection, infidelity, or lack of intimacy? Are you in need of a LGBTQIA+ couples therapist who is culturally competent and understands LGBTQIA+ issues? If so, keep reading this article!

Couples counseling can benefit any couple at any time, but it can be especially beneficial for LGBTQIA+ couples who face a unique set of challenges. Therapeutic work in the LGBTQIA+ community is different. Typically, the focus of couples counseling, particularly in the media, can be centered around heterosexual, monogamous couples. The lack of representation you may witness is no need to stop you from seeking the help your relationship deserves and needs.

You may feel stuck in your relationship at the moment. For example, your partnership may look very different from what you envisioned for yourself. You may have issues surrounding communication or need to learn how to work collaboratively to tackle life issues. Like many other couples, when you avoid these behaviors, they can turn into patterns that negatively affect your relationship in the long-run. These patterns can manifest as daily fights or chronic silent treatments.

Whether you and your partner are battling intimacy issues, exploring the possibility of an open relationship, or dealing with the aftermath of infidelity, these situations can breed excess stress, anxiety, and the weakening of a connection for any couple. When you couple these problems with identity-specific struggles, the setbacks can worsen the quality of your relationship, making LGBTQIA+ couples therapy that much more necessary.

Building A Stronger Relationship With Your Partner Post-Baby

Building A Stronger Relationship With Your Partner Post-Baby

The transition from a couple to a family of three (or even more!) can be one of the biggest changes you will face in your relationship. It is exciting, invigorating, and generally glorious. It can also be tiresome, worrisome, and aggravating. The combination of these emotions can be threatening to the romantic relationship that gave you a child in the first place.

While raising a child can be a difficult experience at times, many couples find that they grow stronger after expanding their family, connecting in ways they have never experienced before. You may have a new level of respect for your partner after the birth of your child and share experiences together as a family that bring you that much closer together.

On the other hand, if you are experiencing relationship problems after the welcoming of your child, you are not alone. Many couples experience bumps in the road as they navigate their new world. It is best to deal with issues as they occur instead of burying them.

Maintaining a marriage after a baby takes time and energy. As a new parent, time and energy may be the last things you want to give. However, actively choosing to put the work into your relationship is beneficial in the long-run. Instead of growing resentful of each other, you and your partner can learn to enjoy spending each moment with one another.