Scapegoating in Families, family counseling, Hoboken NJ therapist, Jersey City NJ therapist, hudson county therapist
Courtney Glashow
Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in ...

Scapegoating means that you are blaming a person or group for something bad that has happened or for something that someone else has done. Scapegoating typically occurs to protect the image of a person or family. In a family dynamic, a person may be used as the scapegoat to protect a more favored member in the family. While it is common for one person to be used as the scapegoat, it can happen to multiple people.

Scapegoating can occur in different environments, such as work, but it is most prominent in unhealthy family dynamics. In this case, scapegoating then tends to start in childhood when a child is blamed for all of a family’s dysfunction and problems. A scapegoat bears the burden of taking on the mistakes of a family or team. 

When children are assigned this role at a young age, it can wreak havoc on their mental health. A scapegoated child may not believe that they are inherently good, worthy, or lovable. Instead, they hear insults regularly, experience constant bullying, and even abuse and neglect. This leads to a low self-esteem, decreased self-confidence, and negative self-talk. 

Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in Families
toxic relationship, relationship counseling, couples therapy, hoboken therapist, jersey city therapist, marriage counseling, nj therapist, nyc therapist, premarital counseling
Courtney Glashow
How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship

When you are in a healthy relationship, it naturally functions well. Of course, like any couple, you may have disagreements from time-to-time or there may be some hard times, but you band together no matter what. You are able to make major life decisions together, discuss problems once they occur, and genuinely enjoy spending time with one another.

On the other hand, you have toxic relationships. In a toxic relationship, the ‘norm’ is feeling drained and unhappy after spending time with your partner. This should be a major red flag that some things need to change.

You may still love your partner, but the relationship does not seem enjoyable. Maybe minor issues turn into full-blown arguments or you always seem to provoke one another. It may even get so severe that you dread spending time with your partner instead of getting excited to see them, like you were in the past.

Continue reading this blog to see if your relationship is toxic, and some guidance on how to navigate a toxic relationship.

How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship
Intergenerational Trauma, trauma counseling, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational ...

Disney has a way of exploring heavier life topics that can help children and the 2021 film Encanto is no exception. Movies like Inside Out and Soul also assist children in exploring heavier aspects of life, such as emotions, trauma, consciousness, and even death. Encanto joins the long list of children’s movies that have a deeper message.

Disney’s Encanto offers a multigenerational story about a grandmother and her family who have been endowed with magical gifts. The Madrigal family lives in a hidden village in Colombia. While each family member does their best to live up to their reputation and help others in the community, the facade slowly begins to crumble figuratively and literally in the house that all three generations share.
Not only do people love this movie because of its catchy soundtrack, including the famous song “We don’t talk about Bruno”, but people also love it because of its exploration of generational trauma.

Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational Trauma Right
control issues, mental health blog, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues

Do you have a hard time going with the flow? Do you have to follow a schedule or routine at all times? Do you try to control other people in your life? If you are dealing with control issues, it is likely that you feel like you must exert power over your life, relationships, and general environment. In some cases, this exertion of power may extend to the life of other people.

Control can simply be defined as exerting influence or power over the environment, actions, and behaviors of yourself or another person. There are many reasons why you may feel like you need to be in control, such as insecurities or fear of the unpredictable. At times, your need for control may become overwhelming and tiring, causing chaos in your career, relationships, and your overall quality of life.

7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues
couples therapy, hoboken counseling, jersey city therapist, mental health blog, nyc counselor, relationship counseling
Courtney Glashow
8 Tips for Dealing With A Narcissist

While some people may be quick to throw the word “narcissist” around, it is important to remember that there is a distinction between someone being self-centered and unsympathetic, and someone who has Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Many people may have what doctors call narcissistic characteristics, such as feeling entitled or having a strong sense of self-importance. People who have narcissistic personality disorder may be challenging to deal with.

The first step to determine your dynamic with someone who you think is a narcissist is to know the difference between someone with narcissistic tendencies and someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

8 Tips for Dealing With A Narcissist
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How Mental Health Counseling Can Help Your Decision Fatigue

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How Mental Health Counseling Can Help Your Decision Fatigue

Hot or iced coffee? Paper or plastic straw? Debit card or credit card? Take the train or drive to work? Take the stairs or take the elevator? It is estimated that the average adult makes 35,000 conscious decisions every single day according to PBS News. Out of those estimated 35,000 decisions, not all of them are straightforward. 

At times, your decisions may be more difficult ones. For instance, maybe you and your partner are deciding if you should move in with one another. If you are in this position, read our blog “How To Know If It’s The Right Time To Move In With Your Partner.” On the other hand, maybe you are deciding if your teen should remain in public school or apply for admission to a private high school. Check out our blog “How To Support Your Teen Through High School and College Application Anxiety.”

The amount of decisions you have to make and the complexity of those choices can leave you feeling emotionally, mentally, and physically depleted. It can do this so much that a simple question like “Do you want a soda or water with your dinner?” feels like an impossible riddle to solve. If this is resonating with you, you may be dealing with decision fatigue.

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6 Ways to Understand and Support a Parent With Mental Illness

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6 Ways to Understand and Support a Parent With Mental Illness

Mental Illness is something that is still extremely stigmatized and misunderstood. This could be because people aren’t educated and aware of how certain mental disorders function. It’s understandable though, in the sense that it’s hard to understand mental illness when we may not experience it ourselves. Even though you may not be able to empathize with certain mental illnesses and disorders, you can still try your best to understand them. Awareness is extremely important! 

Parents can already be hard to understand from the point of view of a child - even if you’re a teen or an adult. On top of that, parental mental illness can be incredibly challenging to navigate. Mental illness sometimes can get in the way of the proper parenting that a child needs - even if unintentionally. Connecting with a parent and trying to understand the hows and whys of their behavior can really make the home environment more comfortable.

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How to Overcome Revenge Bedtime Procrastination

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How to Overcome Revenge Bedtime Procrastination

We have all been there before. Perhaps you just worked a 12-hour shift and, instead of getting the beauty rest you need and deserve, you decide to scroll on TikTok for a few hours to decompress. Maybe you have a big presentation at work in the morning but, instead of sleeping, you decide to binge watch your favorite show on Netflix for hours on end.

After a jam-packed day of performing work or family responsibilities, it is understandable that you may want to hold onto the little free time you have, cashing in on some “me” time. However, you have probably come to recognize that this is not sustainable and leaves you feeling tired and depleted the following day. If you are in the habit of doing this, it can be a sign that you are dealing with the fairly-new phenomenon known as revenge bedtime procrastination.

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Navigating Post-Grad Life: 9 Essential Insights for Recent College Graduates

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Navigating Post-Grad Life: 9 Essential Insights for Recent College Graduates

College may have been the best or worst years of your life. Regardless of how your experience may have gone, you are about to face a lot of uncertainty and change after graduating. You are now about to enter the real world and all of the responsibilities that come with it. The student loan bills you thought you had years to pay back may ambush you when you really aren't prepared for them. You may find yourself jobless, not knowing what you want to do for the rest of your life. Maybe you found a job but realize this is not what you want to do for the rest of your life. Or maybe you live in your parent's basement and are unable to support yourself financially. These are concerns that most college students don't think about because we like to have our dreams and aspirations, but what happens if those dreams don't come true? With these 9 things you wish you knew about life after college, you can find ways to prepare or work through the struggles you may face during this life change. 

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Swipe Smart: Navigating Online Dating and Mental Health with Dating Therapy

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Swipe Smart: Navigating Online Dating and Mental Health with Dating Therapy

In a world of swiping left and right on dating apps, it is easy to think that the love of your life could be right at your fingertips. However, if you are someone who is on a dating app, you may have found out the reality that it is not that easy to find your person whether you are looking for something casual, a short-term relationship, or your forever partner.

In other words, modern dating presents its fair share of challenges. There are the practical challenges, such as cycling through the various dating apps, finding compatible people in your area, and carving out the time in your schedule to genuinely connect with others. Then, there are the more emotionally-charged problems, like ghosting, love bombing, and even seeing things take a turn for the ugly when you reject a person.

Instead of waiting around for Mr. Right or Mrs. Right, you can take control of your happiness now by meeting with a dating therapist and continuing to read this helpful blog!

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Combatting The Retirement Blues: Empire State of Mind to Sunshine State Unwind

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Combatting The Retirement Blues: Empire State of Mind to Sunshine State Unwind

It is not uncommon to experience depression as you make the major life transition to retirement. Retirement is often seen as a double-edged sword. On one hand, you may be in the position where you worked for decades and now you have a hefty retirement fund where you can fully enjoy your free time. On the contrary, you may be someone who has to return to the workforce just to make ends meet. 

Retirement is a major milestone and something that you should be proud of, but it also takes time to adjust to your new normal. Learning how to cope with your new life can leave you feeling stuck but, luckily, you can make the most out of this life transition by working with a geriatric therapist.

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7 Tips for Maintaining a Healthy Relationship in College

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7 Tips for Maintaining a Healthy Relationship in College

Why College Relationships Are Different

Dating in college may often feel or look different than a relationship you may have had in high school. In college, there are additional possibilities to find new people to connect with, along with the freedom to explore your identity in ways you were deprived of in high school. Coming into college with a relationship can be a challenge. Separating your personal lives and gaining new experiences without your partner is one of the biggest struggles. It is important not to limit yourself and spend all your time with them. 


College relationships are typically more mature than the relationships you may have had in high school. In college, you have the freedom to date who you want and the ability to hang out with people without parent's opinions or rules about when, where, and how long you can see this person. You will also be less likely to permit petty arguments or miscommunications that you may have with an immature relationship. Your partner will most likely have a different schedule than you and have their own responsibilities, such as school work or if they are a part of a club. This is different from when you were in high school and may have been confined to being in the same school building for eight hours a day every day. A college campus is large, and your classes may be on different sides of the campus or at different times. This makes it unlikely you will run into your partner on your way to class if you go to the same school. If you plan to have a long-distance relationship with your high school partner everything will most likely change. In order for the relationship to work it is going to require effort from both sides and some changes will have to be made.

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Is It Normal to Grieve the Death of a Celebrity?

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Is It Normal to Grieve the Death of a Celebrity?

At some point in time, the chance is that the death of a celebrity has saddened you. Maybe you mourned Princess Diana in the 1990s or, perhaps more recently, you are grieving the loss of actor Matthew Perry. While on the grief journey, you may be asking yourself, “Is it normal to grieve the life of a person I never met?”. This sadness goes beyond this person’s ability to touch people’s hearts through acting, singing, or so on. The grief is very real and personal in many ways.

Mourning the death of a celebrity you looked up to is just as important as grieving the loss of a beloved family member or friend. Grief is grief. There is no special definition or one-size-fits-all approach to it. If you think that ignoring your feelings of grief will help the process, it does not. In fact, it can prolong your grief journey. Just because you may not have ever actually met the celebrity who passed, it does not mean that your sense of loss is invalid or that they have not touched your heart in one way or another.  

Although people may try to minimize your grief, please know that it is real and deserves the adequate amount of mental health support, whether this manifests as practicing a little more self-care or meeting with a grief therapist near you. It is important to acknowledge your loss and find ways to showcase and support your grief journey.

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4 Tips On How To Build Close Relationships Within The Immediate Family

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4 Tips On How To Build Close Relationships Within The Immediate Family

Every family has a different structure, background, culture, and set of values. For some, family relationships come easy. However, the “perfect” family doesn’t really exist. There’s so many different variations and circumstances for families that it can be stressful to adjust to the particular environment. 

The “standard” family structure, the American Dream, consists of two parents, one or two kids, a nice house, and financial stability. Yet, it’s important to be aware that The American Dream isn’t exactly realistic. You can still be satisfied with your family and life when it doesn’t necessarily adhere to the “perfect” standard.

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Is It Normal To Feel Worse After A Therapy Session?

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Is It Normal To Feel Worse After A Therapy Session?

Your 45-minute weekly session with your licensed mental health counselor is coming to an end, but your feelings are not magically going to go away. In fact, you feel horrible after chatting with your therapist. Now, you feel frustrated and maybe worse than before you started mental health counseling. After all, therapy is supposed to make you feel better, right?

But, do not worry! It is normal to feel bad after your counseling session, especially if you are in the beginning stages of your therapeutic journey of self-improvement. Although it may sound counterintuitive, feeling bad after therapy can actually be a good sign as it shows that you are really putting the work into your emotional health, dealing with difficult emotions and discussing past traumas. 

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4 Ways to Cope with the Sunday Scaries

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4 Ways to Cope with the Sunday Scaries

We have all felt it at one point or another. Maybe you are catching up on your favorite reality show on a Sunday night and all of a sudden, the Sunday Scaries creep in. Or maybe you are out with your friends having a ‘Sunday Funday’ when you start to feel the impending doom of your reality- tomorrow is Monday and you will return back to your regularly scheduled program. One moment you can be laughing and joking with your loved ones and, the next second, you are intensely focused on your never-ending to-do list for the upcoming week.

You may become consumed with stressful thoughts, from a not-so-ideal work environment to an upcoming exam. As you may have guessed, experiencing these high levels of stress and anxiety right when you are about to wrap your time off is not healthy.

Whether you call it the Sunday Scaries, the Sunday Blues, or the Dread, they all mean the same thing and they are a very real feeling everyone has experienced. While there is no universal cure for the Sunday Dread, there are some ways to cope.

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Why Do You Experience Grief After A Friendship Breakup?

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Why Do You Experience Grief After A Friendship Breakup?

What is friendship grief?

Losing a friend can be one of the most heartbreaking experiences one may experience. Friendships are manufactured around understanding and trust. After that trust and bond are broken, it can leave us with an empty gap in our hearts that may never be restored the same as it was with that one friend. Just like any relationship breakup, whether it be romantic or a friendship, one of the most complex parts of the adjustment is accepting that things will never go back to normal. Accepting that that valuable connection you once shared with someone is now absent. 

Why losing a friend hurts so much:

Losing a friend can feel like losing a piece of yourself. The emotional intimacy shared with a close friend can be as powerful as a romantic partner. No matter why or how the friendship ended, the feeling of being unwanted by someone you once shared a strong connection with is challenging to endure. If your friend is the one who breaks the friendship, it can leave you heartbroken. Having a best friend provides you with a sense of security and someone who you associate a majority of your memories with, good and bad. A close friend may have gotten you through a difficult time in your life or helped you progress through certain aspects of your life.

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How Psychodynamic Therapy Can Help You Overcome Anticipatory Anxiety

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How Psychodynamic Therapy Can Help You Overcome Anticipatory Anxiety

At some point in time, every person has experienced anticipatory anxiety. Perhaps you are a teen who is preparing for your driving exam. Or you are an adult feeling anxious about becoming a new parent. Whatever situation you are experiencing, you can take comfort in knowing that anxiety is your body’s normal response to stress.

Most people tend to wonder or even stress about future situations or occurrences to some extent, but anticipatory anxiety can also become severe. Extremely high levels of anticipatory anxiety can have a negative impact on your daily life and everyday functioning.

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8 Video Games That Help With Stress Relief

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8 Video Games That Help With Stress Relief

There are many different opinions on video games and how they really affect the player. For example, there are arguments that violent games can be harmful for young children. However, there are many different genres and styles of games just like other forms of media. The spectrum of playability is so broad that to one person, a game can be easy and replayable, and to another the game can be hard and stressful. On a positive note, there are many games that have been deemed stress-relieving by many different sources. 

As a broad genre, it’s easy to refer to many of these soothing games as CasualGames. Casual games differ from hardcore games because they are marketed towards a broader audience - an audience that generally enjoys simpler rules, less-tasking gameplay, simpler controls, and games in general that don’t require too much skill. When having feelings of stress and anxiety, for some, it’s nice to use something to wind down, something calming. Here’s a list of 8 casual games that you can play to help with stress relief. This list includes popular games, underrated games, and games that support multiple players.

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Dr. Orna Guralnik's Couples Therapy Show: A Window into Real Relationships

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Dr. Orna Guralnik's Couples Therapy Show: A Window into Real Relationships

Dr. Orna Guralnik, is a New York City-based Clinical Psychologist and Psychoanalyst, who rose to fame due to her hit Showtime television show, Couples Therapy. Couples Therapy is a documentary series that follows couples as they try to navigate their troubles and concerns. This unscripted series features real couples from the greater New York City area.

As viewers work through the show’s three seasons, they are taught to view the therapeutic process through a lens of compassion and empathy instead of hastiness. Episode by episode, viewers are immersed into the real world of couples counseling, viewing the progress and occasional backsliding of couples.

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How Infertility Can Impact Your Mental Health

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How Infertility Can Impact Your Mental Health

Infertility is a problem across many cultures, impacting millions of adults and couples and taking a toll on their mental health during the process. It is understandable how infertility may impact you or your partner. You may have had a dream of becoming a parent and creating your own family but, now, you feel like you are being robbed of that dream. As an individual trying for a child, it is common to experience increased levels of anxiety and emotional distress. If you are in a position where fertility treatments are not successful, it is common to experience grief and loss.

As you move forward on your journey to parenthood, taking care of your mental health is one of the most important things you can do during this life transition. 

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Understanding and Managing Symptoms of ADHD in College Students

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Understanding and Managing Symptoms of ADHD in College Students

What is ADHD?

Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, or “ADHD,” is a common brain-based disorder that may negatively affect individuals' behavior and attention. Oftentimes, ADHD interferes with daily activities at home, school, work, and with your relationships. Those who have ADHD have higher levels of impulsivity, inattention, and possible hyperactivity compared to their peers. Psychologists and doctors gather findings about how many and what symptoms someone may have, how long they have been happening, and how severe they are. People who are diagnosed with ADHD have multiple symptoms, not just one. People with ADHD are typically creative, bright, and funny individuals who have had to navigate life in a different way, gaining a sense of self-respect along the way.

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6 Ways to Effectively Reduce Stress

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6 Ways to Effectively Reduce Stress

Whether you are coping with a mental health disorder, like anxiety or depression, or trying to go through a major life transition, stress is a part of life. You cannot always control life’s circumstances, but you can control how you respond to them! 

Although stress is a normal part of life, there is such a thing as overwhelming or chronic stress. Chronic stress is when the stress is constant and persists over an extended period of time, becoming debilitating and interfering with your ability to complete daily tasks. 

Chronic stress can impact your well-being. Therefore, having effective stress-reduction techniques is a must. It is important to note that stress reduction techniques are not one-size-fits-all. In fact, the process of finding a stress reduction method that works for you may take some trial and error and that is perfectly normal. What works for you, may not work for the next person and vice versa.

By having multiple stress relief tools at your disposal, you can be well-equipped to manage your stress when it arises. By having this arsenal, you will be able to pinpoint which tools work the best for you.

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The Summer I Turned Pretty: How Grief Is Processed And Portrayed Differently In The Family

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The Summer I Turned Pretty: How Grief Is Processed And Portrayed Differently In The Family

Spoilers ahead if you didn’t watch both seasons of the show The Summer I Turned Pretty on Amazon Prime Video

The Summer I Turned Pretty is a teen drama based on the book series written by Jenny Han. It follows a young teen, Belly, and her journey through young adulthood. This summer is a bit different than the previous summers. Belly seems to have had a glow-up, making her feel more ambitious. She decides to be a bit rebellious and break out of her “goody-two-shoes” mindset - like going to parties, flirting with boys, and even skinny dipping. On the surface, The Summer I Turned Pretty can seem like your average teen romance show, however, it takes a turn as the season progresses. 

Belly, her mom (Laurel), and her brother (Steven) stay with a family friend, Susannah, and her two boys, Jeremiah and Conrad, every summer. Since they’ve been going to the summer house for so many years, they have basically all become one big family. Over time, we start to find out that Susannah is suffering from terminal cancer. Obviously, this is a lot to take in for everyone in the family and it can be incredibly traumatic. Not only Belly is dealing with this huge life transition, but she also has to stomach the fact that she may lose her second Mom. Ultimately, by season 2, Susannah sadly passes. Every main character of the show deals with grief in their own way, and you may be able to relate to them. You can even see how the 5 stages of grief (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance) can tie into each character’s experiences.

If you or a loved one are going through the grief process and would like to know more about it and possible counseling options, check out these blogs:

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How to Cope with Life Transitions in Your 20s

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How to Cope with Life Transitions in Your 20s

While many of us know about the popular term “mid-life crisis”, the term “quarter-life crisis” may not come to mind, but it is just as real as a phenomenon. In fact, it may even be a rite of passage to feel lost in your 20s. It is a high-stress time in your life where more things are changing than staying the same. Whether you are graduating college and getting your first ‘real-world’ job or getting married to the love of your life, this decade can be defined by its many life transitions.

Many people would agree that your 20s is a time of self-exploration. You are figuring out your likes and dislikes, who you are, where your professional interests lie, what you are looking for in a romantic partner, and so much more! All of this inner discovery can easily leave you feeling lost and confused. You may find yourself comparing your life to that of your friends, feeling like you are behind in life in comparison to your peers. If you find yourself feeling like this, please take comfort in the fact that you are not alone.