Scapegoating in Families, family counseling, Hoboken NJ therapist, Jersey City NJ therapist, hudson county therapist
Courtney Glashow
Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in ...

Scapegoating means that you are blaming a person or group for something bad that has happened or for something that someone else has done. Scapegoating typically occurs to protect the image of a person or family. In a family dynamic, a person may be used as the scapegoat to protect a more favored member in the family. While it is common for one person to be used as the scapegoat, it can happen to multiple people.

Scapegoating can occur in different environments, such as work, but it is most prominent in unhealthy family dynamics. In this case, scapegoating then tends to start in childhood when a child is blamed for all of a family’s dysfunction and problems. A scapegoat bears the burden of taking on the mistakes of a family or team. 

When children are assigned this role at a young age, it can wreak havoc on their mental health. A scapegoated child may not believe that they are inherently good, worthy, or lovable. Instead, they hear insults regularly, experience constant bullying, and even abuse and neglect. This leads to a low self-esteem, decreased self-confidence, and negative self-talk. 

Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in Families
toxic relationship, relationship counseling, couples therapy, hoboken therapist, jersey city therapist, marriage counseling, nj therapist, nyc therapist, premarital counseling
Courtney Glashow
How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship

When you are in a healthy relationship, it naturally functions well. Of course, like any couple, you may have disagreements from time-to-time or there may be some hard times, but you band together no matter what. You are able to make major life decisions together, discuss problems once they occur, and genuinely enjoy spending time with one another.

On the other hand, you have toxic relationships. In a toxic relationship, the ‘norm’ is feeling drained and unhappy after spending time with your partner. This should be a major red flag that some things need to change.

You may still love your partner, but the relationship does not seem enjoyable. Maybe minor issues turn into full-blown arguments or you always seem to provoke one another. It may even get so severe that you dread spending time with your partner instead of getting excited to see them, like you were in the past.

Continue reading this blog to see if your relationship is toxic, and some guidance on how to navigate a toxic relationship.

How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship
Intergenerational Trauma, trauma counseling, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational ...

Disney has a way of exploring heavier life topics that can help children and the 2021 film Encanto is no exception. Movies like Inside Out and Soul also assist children in exploring heavier aspects of life, such as emotions, trauma, consciousness, and even death. Encanto joins the long list of children’s movies that have a deeper message.

Disney’s Encanto offers a multigenerational story about a grandmother and her family who have been endowed with magical gifts. The Madrigal family lives in a hidden village in Colombia. While each family member does their best to live up to their reputation and help others in the community, the facade slowly begins to crumble figuratively and literally in the house that all three generations share.
Not only do people love this movie because of its catchy soundtrack, including the famous song “We don’t talk about Bruno”, but people also love it because of its exploration of generational trauma.

Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational Trauma Right
control issues, mental health blog, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues

Do you have a hard time going with the flow? Do you have to follow a schedule or routine at all times? Do you try to control other people in your life? If you are dealing with control issues, it is likely that you feel like you must exert power over your life, relationships, and general environment. In some cases, this exertion of power may extend to the life of other people.

Control can simply be defined as exerting influence or power over the environment, actions, and behaviors of yourself or another person. There are many reasons why you may feel like you need to be in control, such as insecurities or fear of the unpredictable. At times, your need for control may become overwhelming and tiring, causing chaos in your career, relationships, and your overall quality of life.

7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues
couples therapy, hoboken counseling, jersey city therapist, mental health blog, nyc counselor, relationship counseling
Courtney Glashow
8 Tips for Dealing With A Narcissist

While some people may be quick to throw the word “narcissist” around, it is important to remember that there is a distinction between someone being self-centered and unsympathetic, and someone who has Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Many people may have what doctors call narcissistic characteristics, such as feeling entitled or having a strong sense of self-importance. People who have narcissistic personality disorder may be challenging to deal with.

The first step to determine your dynamic with someone who you think is a narcissist is to know the difference between someone with narcissistic tendencies and someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

8 Tips for Dealing With A Narcissist
, , , , , ,

College Student's Guide to Thriving Through Life Transitions with Insights from Barbie

, , , , , ,
College Student's Guide to Thriving Through Life Transitions with Insights from Barbie

In the new popular film Barbie, Barbie is malfunctioning, something she has never experienced before. She is unhappy with her new appearance and the raw emotions she is beginning to experience. Barbie tries to resist the changes she is going through, although these life alterations are unavoidable. Despite the fact she is comfortable with her old life and perfect routine, she begins to acknowledge that by embracing her changes, it is essential to alter standards and ideas that require improvement. 

For a college student, there are numerous changes that you will go through. You will be making new friends and losing others, challenged with managing your time efficiently, accepting responsibility, meeting higher expectations, and so much more. Although it may seem daunting now, these changes will challenge your way of thinking and allow you to expand into the person you want to be. 

, , ,

7 Ways to Stop Your Gambling Habit

, , ,
7 Ways to Stop Your Gambling Habit

From your finances to the quality of your relationship, gambling can impact a lot of different facets in your life. A couple of decades ago, gambling was solely reserved for fast-paced, neon-lighted casinos. Fast forward to the present-day, gambling can take many forms, including online gambling platforms.

Compulsive gambling is a difficult cycle to break, but please take solace in the fact that recovery is 100% possible! If you are struggling with gambling, continue to read this blog to learn helpful tips and develop a practice game plan.

, , ,

3 Steps to Survive Gaslighting

, , ,
3 Steps to Survive Gaslighting

When someone is gaslighting you, you question everything. Nothing means anything. The reality you thought you once knew seemingly does not exist anymore. Your world is turned upside down. 

Many young adults and teens have become much more open with their mental health, resulting in the popularity of the term ‘gaslighting.’ Simply put, gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse. Greater awareness of gaslighting is an amazing thing since people know about this type of emotional abuse and can avoid potentially abusive and unhealthy relationships. 

However, before you accuse someone of gaslighting you, it is important to know all of the information so you can look for and pinpoint real signs of gaslighting.

Let us explore the true meaning of gaslighting and how to survive this form of emotional abuse…

, , , , ,

4 Ways to Manage Your Relationship Anxiety

, , , , ,
4 Ways to Manage Your Relationship Anxiety

Relationship anxiety can simply be defined as feelings of insecurity, worry, and doubt about your relationship, making you question your compatibility and future with your partner. Contrary to what you might believe, it is normal to have some level of anxiety about your relationship. You may question your significant other’s past partner or question if your long-term goals match up. But, if your relationship anxiety is beginning to cause severe issues for you, it is a sign that something is off.

Relationship anxiety can become an issue when it interferes with the growth of your relationship or even impacts other areas of your life, such as not being able to concentrate at the office. To help with this, read our blog “3 Ways to Achieve Work-Life Balance.” 

When you are feeling insecure in your relationship, you may feel easily stressed. In other cases, you may have a hard time deciphering your emotions. This inability to process your feelings can have problematic results, like separation anxiety or even burnout for your relationship.

, , , ,

At Home With the Furys: A Look Into Mental Health

, , , ,
At Home With the Furys: A Look Into Mental Health

Netflix’s new smash hit reality television show, At Home With the Furys, features the life of famous British boxer, Tyson Fury, also known as the Gypsy King, and his family. Tyson and his wife, Paris Fury, share six children together, and reside in Morecambe, England. 

Tyson has a larger-than-life public persona and has a professional boxing record of 33-0, winning 24 of his matches by knockout (KO). Despite his enormous professional success, the views of At Home With the Furys gain deeper insight into his life, including the challenges he faces.

As soon as you start watching At Home With the Furys, you recognize that there is something inherently different about this show from other ones. It is not because it is a reality show or a show featuring an athlete who was rather private. It is different because the show offers an unfiltered look into Tyson’s mental health and the way that his mental health diagnoses impact his family and the people around him.

By showing that even one of the world’s greatest athletes has mental health issues, hopefully we can illuminate the current mental health crisis that is going on and show people that it is okay to not be okay.

, , ,

Why Do We Cancel Plans When We’re Anxious?

, , ,
Why Do We Cancel Plans When We’re Anxious?

We have all been there before- your anxiety creeps up, makes you rethink why you said “yes” to the plans in the first place, and then, eventually, you start brainstorming reasons as to why you are canceling. 

It can be uncomfortable to say “no”, especially if you struggle with pleasing people. If you think this may be something you struggle with, check out our blog “How To Know If You’re A People-Pleaser and The Psychology Behind It.” You may feel like you are letting someone down when you say “no” or you may feel like you are not good enough for the task at hand. Sometimes, your anxiety can get in the way and make it impossible for you to follow through on commitments.

In its most basic form, having plans can give you something fun to look forward to on your calendar and can fulfill your basic need for human connection. But, at its worst, it can leave you feeling like you are obligated to do something, dreaming about crossing out this event on your calendar in a bold black Sharpie.

, , ,

Grief: How to Cope with Losing A Loved One

, , ,
Grief: How to Cope with Losing A Loved One

Grief is complicated. When you experience the loss of a loved one, you will soon come to understand that there is no right or wrong way to grieve- everyone’s journey with grief looks different. When you understand the stages and type of grief, you can also discover healthier ways to cope with this life transition.

Plainly, grief is the experience of coping with loss. While one of the most common occurrences of grief is losing a loved one, grief can actually accompany many events which have the ability to disrupt our lives and versions of ‘normalcy.’ Loss is a natural part of life, and it is normal to grieve after experiencing a form of loss. You suffer emotionally when you feel like someone or something has been taken from you.

The pain that accompanies loss can feel overwhelming. You may experience many difficult emotions during your grieving period, including shock, anger, disbelief, guilt, and intense sadness. Grief can also pain you physically, triggering sleep issues or brain fogginess. Believe it or not, all of these reactions to loss are normal. The bigger the loss is, the more intense you can expect your grief to be.

, , , , ,

Is There A Way To Overcome Claustrophobia?

, , , , ,
Is There A Way To Overcome Claustrophobia?

Claustrophobia is a situational phobia that is caused by an intense and irrational fear of tight or crowded spaces. This fear of confined spaces can become an issue when the phobia interferes with your ability to function in daily life whether that be at work, school, or other activities. 

If we really wanted to, we could rationalize many fears. For example, you may have a fear of flying, also known as aerophobia, due to losing a loved one in a plane crash. This grief may have caused second-hand trauma which left you feeling extremely scared. If this is something you struggle with, check out our past blog “8 Tips To Overcome Flight Anxiety.”

We all try to avoid things or places that make us feel uncomfortable, but there is a distinct difference between a fear and a phobia. A phobia is an intense and irrational fear toward a thing(s) or situation(s). With phobias, it is also important to note that the fear you are experiencing does not match the actual danger presented in the feared situation or object.

When your phobia interferes with your ability to complete basic daily tasks, it is highly recommended that you seek the help of a phobia specialist. Phobias can negatively impact your life, straining your relationships and lowering your self-esteem. 

, , , , , ,

4 Communication Tips Couples Need To Know

, , , , , ,
4 Communication Tips Couples Need To Know

In order for the success of any relationship, open and honest communication is a must. Relationships are emotional, therefore they rely on interpersonal nonverbal and verbal exchanges of communication amongst the people involved. Most relationships and marriages start out with the idea of success but, without putting in the work, a relationship can turn sour very quickly. When you share a child with your partner or are co-parenting, communication is even more important. If you just welcomed a baby into the world, check out our blog “Building A Stronger Relationship With Your Partner Post-Baby.”

Communication does not always come easily, whether you are discussing something with a romantic partner or co-worker. While some people have no issue communicating in a direct and respectful manner, other people may have trouble expressing themselves. If you resonate with the latter, it can be hard to maintain healthy relationships.

Continue reading to learn about different communication styles and how you can improve your conversations with your partner!

, , , , , ,

What Is Considered Intergenerational Trauma?

, , , , , ,
What Is Considered Intergenerational Trauma?

While you may not have heard of the term “intergenerational trauma”, you may have heard the coined phrase “generational curse.” Intergenerational trauma, or a generational curse in simpler terms, refers to trauma that is passed from a trauma survivor onto the family’s descendants. If you are experiencing intergenerational trauma, you may be living through symptoms, reactions, patterns, and the emotional and physical effects of a loved one’s trauma, such as a parent or grandparent.

This concept of trauma throughout multiple lifespans was developed to explain years of generational challenges within a given family unit. Essentially, it is the transmission of trauma, being sent down to younger generations. If you and your family are struggling with generational trauma, continue to read this blog for much-needed support and guidance.

, ,

Navigating the Mental Health Diagnosis of A Family Member

, ,
Navigating the Mental Health Diagnosis of A Family Member

In recent years, there has been a concerning rise in the prevalence of mental health issues worldwide. This increase can be attributed to various factors, including societal changes, economic pressures, and the impact of technological advancements. The fast-paced nature of modern life, coupled with increasing work demands and social expectations, has created a breeding ground for stress, anxiety, and depression. For more on this topic check out our blog “3 Ways to Achieve Work Life Balance”. 

Moreover, the major influence of social media and the constant exposure to unrealistic standards of beauty, success, and happiness have contributed to feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem among individuals of all ages. It is vital for our society to recognize the significance of mental health and prioritize efforts to destigmatize seeking help, enhance access to mental health services, and promote mental and physical well-being. 

, ,

6 Ways to Set Boundaries & Enforce Them

, ,
6 Ways to Set Boundaries & Enforce Them

We all know that boundaries are healthy; however, we may not have a clear idea of exactly what they are. You may think of them as a property line or brick wall- something separating you from other people or a force of separation. With boundaries, it is important to note that boundaries are not rigid lines. Instead, boundaries are a vital form of self-care. 

By understanding how to set and maintain healthy boundaries, you can avoid the effects of emotional build-up, such as:


Knowing how to set boundaries is an essential social skill although we may not always view it as a social requirement. The truth is that boundaries are rooted in good communication. The better you can express your boundaries, the more likely it is that they will be respected and upheld by loved ones. While you may need to reiterate your boundaries a few times to your family members and friends, you should never apologize for having boundaries.

, , ,

Fourth Wing: Harnessing Internal Strength in the Face of Chronic Illness

, , ,
Fourth Wing: Harnessing Internal Strength in the Face of Chronic Illness

Spoilers ahead for Rebecca Yarros’s novel, Fourth Wing!

Living with a chronic medical condition can significantly impact one's mental health, as the challenges and limitations it presents can take a toll on overall well-being. However, in the new incredible novel Fourth Wing by Rabecca Yarros that has gone viral, we encounter a remarkable 20-year-old female character named Violet Sorrengail who defies the odds and showcases unwavering internal strength despite her battle with Ehlers-Danlos syndrome. Giving the heroine of the story a chronic illness is unique and not typically accepted as a large community. However, Rebecca Yarros does an incredible job in seamlessly incorporating the illness into the character and explores the intricate relationship between chronic illness and mental health. Violet’s character shows how her resilience serves as a powerful reminder that a chronic condition does not have to control one's life negatively.

, , , , , ,

Career Counseling: Can A Therapist Help Me Find The Right Job?

, , , , , ,
Career Counseling: Can A Therapist Help Me Find The Right Job?

When you are on the hunt for a job, you likely have a lot of thoughts racing through your mind. Maybe you want to find a job that has the same values that you hold. Perhaps you care more about a healthy work-life balance. Whatever your goals are, you probably are not adding “get a therapist” to the never-ending to-do list, but a career counselor can help you with job hunting.

That is to say, you can find solace in an unlikely place during your career search- a therapist’s office. If you are unsure about your professional path, working with a certified career coach can help you outline the best career choices for you according to your personality, interests, and more.

, , , , ,

9 Ways Social Media Is Impacting Your Teen Daughter’s Self-Esteem

, , , , ,
9 Ways Social Media Is Impacting Your Teen Daughter’s Self-Esteem

In recent years, the emergence and rapid growth of social media platforms have revolutionized the way we communicate, share information, and connect with others. Now that we are in the digital age, social media has become an integral part of the lives of teen girls. The influence of social media on the lives of these girls has become subject to increasing concern as the issue has intensified. There have been clear patterns in the way that young girls are perceiving themselves and how they feel about their appearance alongside this increase of social media exposure. 

Along with the changes in the way these girls view themselves compared to what they see on social media, there have been changes to their mental health as a result. There has been an increase in  negative mental health effects being experienced by young girls. While not everyone is impacted in the same ways, generally there is correlation between these factors which will be explored further below.

, , , ,

How Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) Decreases Anxiety

, , , ,
How Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) Decreases Anxiety

Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy, often simply referred to as REBT, is a form of psychotherapy that can help you to identify self-defeating thoughts and emotions. From there, you are able to challenge the unreasonable and unproductive feelings in order to replace them with more healthier and fruitful beliefs. 

REBT was created in the mid-1950s by a psychologist named Albert Ellis. This form of psychotherapy focuses on the present moment so you can understand how any unhealthy thoughts and beliefs you hold can trigger emotional distress. As a result of this emotional distress, unhealthy actions and behaviors can occur which can interfere with your goals and overall life.

The REBT approach will encourage you to dispute your irrational thinking so you can develop healthy emotional self-regulation skills to manage your anxiety. 

, , , , ,

How To Survive Your In-Laws: A Guide To Family Therapy

, , , , ,
How To Survive Your In-Laws: A Guide To Family Therapy

If you find it difficult to deal with your in-laws, you are not alone. On some level, every couple struggles with their in-laws from time to time. Just because you may be dealing with some issues with your in-laws, it does not mean that you have an unhealthy relationship. It all comes down to how you tackle the problem together as a team. If you believe you may be in an unhealthy partnership, check out our blog “How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship.” 

What you will learn quickly through your exploration together as a couple in mental health counseling sessions is that seeing eye-to-eye with your partner about your in-laws matters more than seeing eye-to-eye with your in-laws. 

Learning how to build a relationship with your in-laws is challenging for many couples. You can choose to view it as a chore that you want to quickly and insufficiently fix or as a ‘project’ to tackle together as a couple. This ‘project’ includes communication, trust, and effort.

, , , ,

4 Common Mental Health Struggles that LGBTQIA+ College Students Face

, , , ,
4 Common Mental Health Struggles that LGBTQIA+ College Students Face

The month of June has been dedicated to celebrating the LGBTQIA+ community. This is a time where inclusion, acceptance, and expression of oneself are all emphasized and flaunted. Fun, colorful, vibrant celebrations, outfits, and parades take place nationwide during this month. 

As a society we have made great strides since the Stonewall Uprising which was the very incident that initiated marches in support of the community and equal rights that then blossomed into pride celebrations throughout the month of June. It is significant to consider that the younger members of the LGBTQIA+ community are experiencing a different reality than previous generations, even when there are unique challenges endured by most that are associated with being LGBTQIA+ in college. 

The support of our society during this time becomes very apparent from the first day of the month when companies change their logos to include the rainbow flag. Whole clothing lines are created plastered with the rainbow flag. Certain products are even rebranded to broadcast the colors that reflect the spectrum of human sexuality and gender as well as the diversity of members within the LGBTQIA+ community. Whether they are genuine or not, these gestures are far more positive than the previous outwardly homophobic undertones many of the leading institutions in our country projected in campaigns and advertisements that reflected their social beliefs. These efforts can be appreciated by members of this community that are immersed in the community and frequently exposed to pop culture hot topics, like college students who identify as LGBTQIA+. 

, , ,

The 8 Forms of Self-Care & How You Can Practice Them

, , ,
The 8 Forms of Self-Care & How You Can Practice Them

In recent years, the term “self-care” has almost become a buzzword. It is thrown around a lot which can allow it to lose its meaning and sense of importance in everyday life. It has been estimated that the Google searches for “self-care” have quadrupled since 2018. For other people, they may even view self-care to be a selfish or self-indulgent activity that they have no time for. 

Simply put, self-care means taking care of yourself so that you can feel healthy, do your job, and care for others. When you practice an adequate amount of self-care, your cup gets filled, ensuring that you can check off all the tasks on your to-do list for the day while feeling emotionally, mentally, and physically well.

The truth is that we are living in a mental health crisis where millions of Americans are dealing with anxiety and depression. That is to say, many people feel it and understand the effects. Self-care is a part of the equation when it comes to addressing mental health concerns. When you take care of yourself, you are able to cope better with daily stressors. If you find yourself needing help with managing your daily stressors, check out our blog “Everything You Need To Know About Stress Management Therapy.”

, , , , ,

Men’s Mental Health: Why You Need To Ask For Help

, , , , ,
Men’s Mental Health: Why You Need To Ask For Help

Generally speaking, mental health has been an overlooked topic. Up until recently, mental health has not been discussed, or even acknowledged, publicly. Slowly but surely, times are starting to change but these changing tides do not always include all groups of people. More specifically, men are often exempt from the discussion on mental health issues.

The mental health of boys and men is rarely talked about even though it can take a heavy toll on their lives. When mental health issues go untreated, it can have serious impacts on one’s quality of life and physical health, going as far as to impact their life expectancy. Ignored emotional and mental health problems impact a man’s ability to fully function in society and within his family.