Scapegoating in Families, family counseling, Hoboken NJ therapist, Jersey City NJ therapist, hudson county therapist
Courtney Glashow
Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in ...

Scapegoating means that you are blaming a person or group for something bad that has happened or for something that someone else has done. Scapegoating typically occurs to protect the image of a person or family. In a family dynamic, a person may be used as the scapegoat to protect a more favored member in the family. While it is common for one person to be used as the scapegoat, it can happen to multiple people.

Scapegoating can occur in different environments, such as work, but it is most prominent in unhealthy family dynamics. In this case, scapegoating then tends to start in childhood when a child is blamed for all of a family’s dysfunction and problems. A scapegoat bears the burden of taking on the mistakes of a family or team. 

When children are assigned this role at a young age, it can wreak havoc on their mental health. A scapegoated child may not believe that they are inherently good, worthy, or lovable. Instead, they hear insults regularly, experience constant bullying, and even abuse and neglect. This leads to a low self-esteem, decreased self-confidence, and negative self-talk. 

Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in Families
toxic relationship, relationship counseling, couples therapy, hoboken therapist, jersey city therapist, marriage counseling, nj therapist, nyc therapist, premarital counseling
Courtney Glashow
How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship

When you are in a healthy relationship, it naturally functions well. Of course, like any couple, you may have disagreements from time-to-time or there may be some hard times, but you band together no matter what. You are able to make major life decisions together, discuss problems once they occur, and genuinely enjoy spending time with one another.

On the other hand, you have toxic relationships. In a toxic relationship, the ‘norm’ is feeling drained and unhappy after spending time with your partner. This should be a major red flag that some things need to change.

You may still love your partner, but the relationship does not seem enjoyable. Maybe minor issues turn into full-blown arguments or you always seem to provoke one another. It may even get so severe that you dread spending time with your partner instead of getting excited to see them, like you were in the past.

Continue reading this blog to see if your relationship is toxic, and some guidance on how to navigate a toxic relationship.

How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship
Intergenerational Trauma, trauma counseling, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational ...

Disney has a way of exploring heavier life topics that can help children and the 2021 film Encanto is no exception. Movies like Inside Out and Soul also assist children in exploring heavier aspects of life, such as emotions, trauma, consciousness, and even death. Encanto joins the long list of children’s movies that have a deeper message.

Disney’s Encanto offers a multigenerational story about a grandmother and her family who have been endowed with magical gifts. The Madrigal family lives in a hidden village in Colombia. While each family member does their best to live up to their reputation and help others in the community, the facade slowly begins to crumble figuratively and literally in the house that all three generations share.
Not only do people love this movie because of its catchy soundtrack, including the famous song “We don’t talk about Bruno”, but people also love it because of its exploration of generational trauma.

Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational Trauma Right
control issues, mental health blog, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues

Do you have a hard time going with the flow? Do you have to follow a schedule or routine at all times? Do you try to control other people in your life? If you are dealing with control issues, it is likely that you feel like you must exert power over your life, relationships, and general environment. In some cases, this exertion of power may extend to the life of other people.

Control can simply be defined as exerting influence or power over the environment, actions, and behaviors of yourself or another person. There are many reasons why you may feel like you need to be in control, such as insecurities or fear of the unpredictable. At times, your need for control may become overwhelming and tiring, causing chaos in your career, relationships, and your overall quality of life.

7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues
couples therapy, hoboken counseling, jersey city therapist, mental health blog, nyc counselor, relationship counseling
Courtney Glashow
8 Tips for Dealing With A Narcissist

While some people may be quick to throw the word “narcissist” around, it is important to remember that there is a distinction between someone being self-centered and unsympathetic, and someone who has Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Many people may have what doctors call narcissistic characteristics, such as feeling entitled or having a strong sense of self-importance. People who have narcissistic personality disorder may be challenging to deal with.

The first step to determine your dynamic with someone who you think is a narcissist is to know the difference between someone with narcissistic tendencies and someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

8 Tips for Dealing With A Narcissist
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What You Need To Know To Find A Gender-Affirming Therapist

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What You Need To Know To Find A Gender-Affirming Therapist

A person’s sex is usually assigned at birth. It is primarily determined by external genitalia, but other factors, such as hormones, chromosomes, and internal organs, can serve as a confirmation. At birth, newborns are labeled as male or female and, in some unique situations, as intersex. 

One’s gender identity refers to the subjective sense that a person has that they are male, female, or other. A person’s gender identity is determined by their brain rather than their sexual anatomy. It is agreed upon that most children have a sense of their gender identity by the age of four years old, although it may occur earlier or later in life depending on the individual. 

You may feel like the gender assigned to you at birth does not fit you. Maybe you feel uncomfortable about certain gender stereotypes. Perhaps you struggle with parts of your body. Whatever the cause for concern is, your feelings surrounding your gender are valid.


In the beginning, you may have more questions than answers, and that is okay. Luckily, a LGBTQIA+-affirming therapist can assist you throughout your gender transition, affirming you each step of the way.

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How to Cope with Life Transitions as a Senior Citizen

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How to Cope with Life Transitions as a Senior Citizen

As you grow older, you experience many life transitions. As we age, many people associate aging with our changing physical bodies, but it goes beyond that. While aging certainly affects different body parts and our psychological processes, there is a collective aging that occurs as well.

For example, the opportunities and expectations change as you age. Additionally, there are institutional obstacles you may face, such as certain stereotypes and a form of discrimination known as ageism. 

There are developmental changes that occur over time and situational changes that relate to a particular set of circumstances or it may be linked to health and illness. All of these changes and more can be categorized as life transitions.

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3 Ways to Cope with a Friendship Breakup

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3 Ways to Cope with a Friendship Breakup

If you have ever lost a best friend, you know how painful the process can be. Sometimes, losing a best friend can hurt more than losing a significant other. The truth is that friendship breakups are not easy. Whether you simply drifted apart from your friend or had a falling out and experienced a damaging situation, you can properly heal with a friendship breakup.

You may be reminiscing or even beating up on yourself, thinking of what went wrong and what you could have done differently. It is a normal human reaction to think about these things, but the constant thoughts surrounding your friendship breakup can keep it fresh in your mind which only reminds you of how much you miss your friend.
A part of the healing process is to reflect on your friendship, and the memories you and your best friend created together. It can be difficult to move on after this life transition if you continuously “obsess” over your friendship and what could have been. When you learn how to stop overthinking and properly control your emotions, you can regain your focus and move forward in life with a new perspective.

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How Childhood Trauma Can Cause Anxiety, Depression, & PTSD

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How Childhood Trauma Can Cause Anxiety, Depression, & PTSD

Childhood trauma can have a long lasting impact on people. If you suffer from childhood trauma, you may be more at risk for developing anxiety, depression, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), and other mental disorders. By unpacking your trauma with a trauma therapist or anxiety counselor, you'll be able to process those memories and emotions, and feel like your best self again!

What Is Childhood Trauma?

Childhood trauma is the experience of an event by a child or teen that is emotionally painful or distressful, which often results in lasting mental and physical effects. Childhood trauma can occur when a child witnesses or experiences overwhelming negative events in childhood. Children are too young to process events they experienced which causes them to repress, or bury, the memory.

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3 Ways to Manage Your Physical Anxiety Symptoms

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3 Ways to Manage Your Physical Anxiety Symptoms

If you have anxiety, you know what it feels like to be worried, nervous, and/or afraid about typical everyday events. Your anxiety can feel upsetting and difficult to manage. Anxiety can make your life a daily struggle, and may even leave you questioning many things- from your safety to your own anxiety symptoms. 

Oftentimes, anxiety can physically manifest in your body. Many people may think that they are being dramatic or simply imagining the physical symptoms of anxiety, but they are 100% real. Some people with anxiety may experience physical symptoms while others may not. 

Think back to a time where you felt nervous. Perhaps you were preparing for a big presentation at work and you noticed that your palms started to sweat and your legs felt shaky. Maybe you were preparing for a first date, and started to experience some dating anxiety. You may have begun to feel sick to your stomach and experienced an increased heart rate. You might have linked these physical symptoms to nervousness, but were unsure of the exact reason as to why you did not feel good.

Most people will experience anxiety on occasion; however, if you have an anxiety disorder, these feelings and symptoms may be the norm for you.

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5 Common Stereotypes You Should Know About Online Therapists

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5 Common Stereotypes You Should Know About Online Therapists

Online mental health counseling, commonly referred to as teletherapy or telehealth, has been around for quite some time, but has grown in popularity and usage during the COVID-19 pandemic to help ensure everyone’s safety and health. Typically, teletherapy is simply counseling offered via phone call or a video platform. It is used for many types of therapy, and has proven to be just as effective as in-person counseling.

Telehealth mental health counseling may have started for many practices as a convenient alternative to in-person sessions, but it has quickly become a staple in the mental health community.

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Am I Experiencing Complicated & Traumatic Grief?

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Am I Experiencing Complicated & Traumatic Grief?

Have you recently lost someone close to you and now you feel like the world has lost its purpose? Or did a serious relationship traumatically end? Did you recently learn that you are unable to have children? Whatever it is, you are not alone. When you go through a traumatic event like the ones listed above, you may be at risk for experiencing grief. 

What Is Grief?

Grief is a common emotional response (in some cases a physical response) that you feel after experiencing a loss from a disaster or traumatic event. Anyone can experience grief, and the effects and experiences differ from each person to the next. Feelings may range from deep sadness to anger outbursts. A person's grief largely depends on their personal attachment to what was lost.

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How Play Therapy Can Improve Your Child’s Mental Health

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How Play Therapy Can Improve Your Child’s Mental Health

Play therapy is a form of therapy primarily used for children. Due to their age, many children are unable to process their own emotions and articulate their problems to parents or other adults. Therefore, play therapy swoops in to save the day!

While, on the surface, play therapy may just look like normal playtime, it is actually so much more than that. A trained child therapist uses playtime to observe and gain insight into your child’s issues. Your play therapist for kids helps your child explore their emotions and even deal with any unresolved trauma they may be experiencing. Through play, your child learns how to redirect any inappropriate behavior and gains new coping skills that you can utilize through many life transitions.

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4 Ways to Cope with Postpartum Depression (PPD)

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4 Ways to Cope with Postpartum Depression (PPD)

When you experience the miracle and joy of childbirth, you can expect a lot of powerful emotions. You may feel excited, overwhelmed, fearful, or even anxious, but one emotion you do not expect to feel is depressed. Having a baby is a life-changing life transition. It is normal to experience worry or doubt, especially as a first-time parent; however, more extreme symptoms, such as severe mood swings and frequent crying spells, may signal that you are struggling with Postpartum Depression, often referred to as PPD.

PPD is a type of depression that occurs after someone gives birth. It is important to note that postpartum depression does not just impact the birthing person- it can also impact the other parent, surrogates, and adoptive parents. After having a baby, adults can experience hormonal, physical, emotional, financial, and social changes. These changes can trigger symptoms of PPD.

If you have PPD, please know that you are not alone. It is not your fault, and there are PPD therapists out there who can assist you, making you feel like your best self again. When you work with a therapist for PPD, you can learn how to effectively manage your symptoms.

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How To Support Your Teen Through High School and College Application Anxiety

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How To Support Your Teen Through High School and College Application Anxiety

The season of high school and college acceptances is upon us. By this time of the year, most students have an idea of where they will be heading in the fall whether it is a great magnet high school or a dream college a plane ride away. In a few weeks, students will sigh a final breath of relief when they commit to a school but, in the meantime, these last few moments of indecision can be painful and anxiety-ridden. Additionally, some teens and young adults may be grappling with the sting of rejection, forcing them to rethink their entire futures. 


The impact of your child’s stress during this entire process should not be overlooked. This process can also be grueling for you as a parent. You may be going through the ups and downs of the high school and college admissions process with your child as the acceptances, rejections, and waitlists roll in. When your teen is accepted, feelings of joy and excitement may overcome them. On the other hand, if your child is rejected, or even waitlisted, they may be completely and utterly devastated, especially if they are denied from their dream high school or college. This experience undeniably plays a role in your teen’s mental health.

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Feeling Stressed and Anxious in College? Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) Can Help

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Feeling Stressed and Anxious in College? Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) Can Help

The pressures that college students face can be extremely overwhelming. As a college student, you may be balancing many aspects of life all at once. Attempting to balance a healthy social life while putting copious amounts of time and effort into good grades can get tricky. Don't forget the financial challenges coupled with living independently and trying to maintain emotional and physical health. Among all of these hardships, students reportedly face the most anxiety when it comes to academics. 

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3 Steps to Overcoming Agoraphobia

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3 Steps to Overcoming Agoraphobia

Agoraphobia, a rare type of anxiety disorder, involves being afraid of certain situations or places that make you feel trapped. Oftentimes, agoraphobia is mischaracterized. People may believe that the disorder only consists of a fear of open spaces; however, the reality of the disorder is much more complex. In addition to the fear or feeling of being trapped, there is a standard fear of feeling helpless or being embarrassed in public situations which may spark a panic attack.

The triggers of agoraphobia vary from person-to-person. For example, for some people, a trigger may be an airplane while, for others, it is standing in a line at the grocery store waiting to checkout. Agoraphobia is not necessarily the fear of one place specifically. Instead, it is the fear that, if something bad were to occur, escape would be difficult. Because of this, another fear is developed about potentially having a panic attack in public.

When you confront agoraphobia, it can be difficult. If you struggle with the disorder, you are used to living life in an automatic state of dread. This fear can become so large that you avoid going in public at all costs, particularly in areas that are especially crowded. Overcoming agoraphobia can be a painstakingly difficult process since it involves confronting your fears, but please know it is completely possible! Overcoming agoraphobia does not occur overnight. With the help of a therapist for agoraphobia, you can get back to feeling like your best self again.

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Anger Management Counseling for Teens

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Anger Management Counseling for Teens

Does your teen blow up at any mention of rules and structure? Do you feel like you have to walk on eggshells in your own home? If this resonates with you, you are not alone. The teenage years can be turbulent times. Your teen is going through a lot, trying to figure out their place in the world and what their next steps are as they transition into adulthood.

It is typical for teens to desire more freedom as they get older. You may find that your teen is pushing boundaries which is normal but, in some cases, it can spiral out of control. Anger itself is not a problem as anger is a normal emotion. Instead, your teen may not be able to manage their emotions, including anger, well which is an issue.

Anger can build up over time if someone is passive or does not establish clear boundaries. This may lead to your teen going from 0 to 100 and lashing out on you and other family members. How people react with anger can reveal a lot about their emotional well-being.

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The Role of Trauma in Netflix’s Firefly Lane

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The Role of Trauma in Netflix’s Firefly Lane

*Spoilers about seasons 1 & 2 of Netflix’s show Firefly Lane ahead!*

Firefly Lane is a powerful and heartwarming story of two women who formed an unbreakable bond as teenagers, and stayed by each other's side for nearly three decades. Starring Sarah Chalke as Kate Mularkey and Katherine Heigl as Tully Hart, the two go through good and bad times, while battling their own issues. 

In the summer of 1974, Tully Hart moved into a beautiful home on Firefly Lane. Directly across the street from her lived Kate Mularkey and her family. Kate is thrilled when Tully moves in, as she continuously daydreams about being her friend. On the surface, they are as opposite as two people could be. Tully is mysterious, smart, popular and beautiful, while Kate is strange, quiet, and nerdy. They encounter each other a few times outside, where Kate attempts to be Tully's friend, but Tully is closed off. 

One night, Tully tells Kate a secret while she is upset and feeling vulnerable. Kate promises to never tell Tully's secret, and they made a pact to remain best friends forever. By the end of summer, Tully and Kate were inseparable. 

From the beginning, Tully is desperate to prove her worth to the world. Abandoned by her mother at an early age, she searches for unconditional love. She looks to men to fill the void by drinking and having one night stands. As the 90’s approaches, Tully is captivated by the world of television news, as this has been her lifelong dream. She will follow her own blind ambition to New York and around the country, ultimately finding fame and success… and loneliness. 

Kate knows early on that her life will be nothing special. In college, she pretends to be driven by success, but all she wants is to fall in love, have children and live an ordinary life. Although, when she does become a wife and mother, it changes her and makes her question who she is and what she once wanted. 

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What We Learned From The Relationship Dynamic of Succession’s Shiv and Tom

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What We Learned From The Relationship Dynamic of Succession’s Shiv and Tom

Succession, a comedy-drama television series, has been a HBO hit show since its release in 2018. The television series follows the Roy family who are the owners of Waystar Roy Company, a global media and entertainment empire. The family’s patriarch, Logan Roy, runs the show at Waystar Roy Company while his four children fight for control of the company due to Logan’s wavering health.

Logan has four children- three sons and one daughter. Logan’s oldest son Connor Roy is generally estranged from the family, and does not have much interest in the family company. Instead, Connor has readjusted his interest to politics, setting his sights on the United States presidency. Next is Logan’s power-hungry son, Kendall Roy. Kendall wants to take over the company but has not yet been able to gain his dad’s full vote of confidence. One part of Kendall’s rocky professional and personal relationships is his struggle with substance abuse. Logan’s third son, Roman Roy, is perhaps one of the most dynamic characters of the show, but his constant lack of focus and low maturity level prevent him from advancing in the company. Finally, Siobhan Roy, also known as “Shiv”, has natural leadership skills and closely resembles her father. At first, she rather put her focus into politics, working as a political consultant; however, she decides to jump ship to Waystar once she spots an opportunity. 

One of the most interesting relationship dynamics of the series is the connection between Shiv Roy and her husband, Tom Wambsgans. For any fan of the hit-show Succession, the power differences between Shiv and Tom seem apparent. From Shiv’s tense looks and cutthroat nature to Tom’s vulnerability and looks of defeat after conversations with the Roy family, their relationship is dictated by power differences and incomplete exchanges.

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How to Heal After Infidelity

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How to Heal After Infidelity

The truth is that working through an affair in a relationship is difficult. On both sides, it requires a great deal of vulnerability, energy, time, work, and commitment. Affair recovery is a process of healing your relationship on a mental, emotional, and physical level after infidelity occurs. Typically, the process of recovery after infidelity can take anywhere from six months to two years, but it is important to remember that each couple is unique. For some couples, it may take a little shorter or longer to fully recover.

The painful process of recovery after an affair requires compassion, strength, and humility. An affair does equate to intense emotional pain; however, that pain does not have to end a relationship. There are ways to rebuild your connection with your partner even after an affair if you are both willing and able to put in the work.

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Your Ultimate Guide to Overcoming Trauma at College

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Your Ultimate Guide to Overcoming Trauma at College

In any given semester, college level students experience a multitude of stressors and possible trauma. On college campuses, it is reported that nearly two thirds of college students have experienced or been exposed to a traumatic event while being at school. 

Trauma occurs when you experience a terrifying or life threatening event that leaves you in shock or fear. This can range from constant stress to experiencing an assault. While balancing your education, social life, mental and physical well-being, trauma may weigh heavily on you and make it hard to complete everyday tasks. 

If you are experiencing trauma at school, you are not alone.

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3 Ways to Overcome Health Anxiety

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3 Ways to Overcome Health Anxiety

If you have health anxiety, you have an irrational and obsessive worry that you have a serious medical condition. Health anxiety takes other names, such as hypochondria and illness anxiety. Overall, healthy anxiety is marked when you have an imagination of physical symptoms of an illness.

In other cases, you may misinterpret minor or normal bodily sensations as symptoms of a serious disease. Even if medical professionals reassure you that you do not have an illness, you may have a hard time believing them and trusting their professional advice.

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CBT for Adult ADHD

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CBT for Adult ADHD

When we think about Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, also known as ADHD, we may have an image of a child or teen, but ADHD can impact adults as well. ADHD is a neurological disorder that is commonly signalized by patterns of inattention, hyperactivity, and/or impulsivity. When left untreated, ADHD can interfere with your work, home life, and relationships.

Historically, ADHD was looked at as a childhood condition; however, it is now known that this condition can persist into adulthood. Individuals with ADHD can receive a diagnosis in childhood or adulthood. With that being said, many adults with ADHD may never receive a diagnosis as medical professionals believe that ADHD is largely under diagnosed in adults.

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How to Cope with Relationship OCD using CBT and ERP

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How to Cope with Relationship OCD using CBT and ERP

Relationship obsessive-compulsive disorder, also referred to as R-OCD, is a subtype of OCD. It is characterized by ongoing intrusive thoughts and uncontrollable behavior regarding the unpredictability of a relationship. If you have R-OCD, it is likely that you experience recurring doubts about one or more relationships in your life, even if there is evidence present or not that supports those thoughts. 

Many people with R-OCD feel like, no matter what they do, they cannot get rid of their doubting thoughts. You may worry that you are stuck in the wrong relationship. Or maybe you find yourself questioning everything about your partner. Soon enough, your unrelenting obsessions and compulsions about your relationship can take over and cause you to self-sabotage. If you want to learn how to manage your R-OCD effectively, keep reading!