Scapegoating in Families, family counseling, Hoboken NJ therapist, Jersey City NJ therapist, hudson county therapist
Courtney Glashow
Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in ...

Scapegoating means that you are blaming a person or group for something bad that has happened or for something that someone else has done. Scapegoating typically occurs to protect the image of a person or family. In a family dynamic, a person may be used as the scapegoat to protect a more favored member in the family. While it is common for one person to be used as the scapegoat, it can happen to multiple people.

Scapegoating can occur in different environments, such as work, but it is most prominent in unhealthy family dynamics. In this case, scapegoating then tends to start in childhood when a child is blamed for all of a family’s dysfunction and problems. A scapegoat bears the burden of taking on the mistakes of a family or team. 

When children are assigned this role at a young age, it can wreak havoc on their mental health. A scapegoated child may not believe that they are inherently good, worthy, or lovable. Instead, they hear insults regularly, experience constant bullying, and even abuse and neglect. This leads to a low self-esteem, decreased self-confidence, and negative self-talk. 

Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in Families
toxic relationship, relationship counseling, couples therapy, hoboken therapist, jersey city therapist, marriage counseling, nj therapist, nyc therapist, premarital counseling
Courtney Glashow
How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship

When you are in a healthy relationship, it naturally functions well. Of course, like any couple, you may have disagreements from time-to-time or there may be some hard times, but you band together no matter what. You are able to make major life decisions together, discuss problems once they occur, and genuinely enjoy spending time with one another.

On the other hand, you have toxic relationships. In a toxic relationship, the ‘norm’ is feeling drained and unhappy after spending time with your partner. This should be a major red flag that some things need to change.

You may still love your partner, but the relationship does not seem enjoyable. Maybe minor issues turn into full-blown arguments or you always seem to provoke one another. It may even get so severe that you dread spending time with your partner instead of getting excited to see them, like you were in the past.

Continue reading this blog to see if your relationship is toxic, and some guidance on how to navigate a toxic relationship.

How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship
Intergenerational Trauma, trauma counseling, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational ...

Disney has a way of exploring heavier life topics that can help children and the 2021 film Encanto is no exception. Movies like Inside Out and Soul also assist children in exploring heavier aspects of life, such as emotions, trauma, consciousness, and even death. Encanto joins the long list of children’s movies that have a deeper message.

Disney’s Encanto offers a multigenerational story about a grandmother and her family who have been endowed with magical gifts. The Madrigal family lives in a hidden village in Colombia. While each family member does their best to live up to their reputation and help others in the community, the facade slowly begins to crumble figuratively and literally in the house that all three generations share.
Not only do people love this movie because of its catchy soundtrack, including the famous song “We don’t talk about Bruno”, but people also love it because of its exploration of generational trauma.

Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational Trauma Right
control issues, mental health blog, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues

Do you have a hard time going with the flow? Do you have to follow a schedule or routine at all times? Do you try to control other people in your life? If you are dealing with control issues, it is likely that you feel like you must exert power over your life, relationships, and general environment. In some cases, this exertion of power may extend to the life of other people.

Control can simply be defined as exerting influence or power over the environment, actions, and behaviors of yourself or another person. There are many reasons why you may feel like you need to be in control, such as insecurities or fear of the unpredictable. At times, your need for control may become overwhelming and tiring, causing chaos in your career, relationships, and your overall quality of life.

7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues
couples therapy, hoboken counseling, jersey city therapist, mental health blog, nyc counselor, relationship counseling
Courtney Glashow
8 Tips for Dealing With A Narcissist

While some people may be quick to throw the word “narcissist” around, it is important to remember that there is a distinction between someone being self-centered and unsympathetic, and someone who has Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Many people may have what doctors call narcissistic characteristics, such as feeling entitled or having a strong sense of self-importance. People who have narcissistic personality disorder may be challenging to deal with.

The first step to determine your dynamic with someone who you think is a narcissist is to know the difference between someone with narcissistic tendencies and someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

8 Tips for Dealing With A Narcissist
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How Counseling Can Help You Break OCD Habits

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How Counseling Can Help You Break OCD Habits

If you struggle with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), you may feel like you are living in a vicious cycle of thoughts, feelings, and rituals. One helpful way to try to stop the cycle is to break OCD habits by changing or delaying your rituals. Unfortunately, breaking OCD habits on your own can be extremely hard. Therefore, an OCD therapist can help assist you in this process.

For example, let us say that you have an unpleasant thought that randomly “pops” into your head. This uncomfortable thought could be something like shouting something inappropriately in public. If you fasten unhelpful meanings to a thought (e.g., in our specific example, you could be thinking “I am someone who is not socially graceful”), that will only lead to more anxiety. When you get anxious, you may begin to look for any methods to tame your spiraling thoughts.

When you have OCD, the ways in which you attempt to lessen your anxiety may vary. For instance, you may obsessively check in with your friends and family to ensure that you do not lose your social connections and that, in fact, you are socially graceful. You may feel the need to check in on your loved ones a set number of times throughout each day or at specific times. Thus, it is the continuous cycle of OCD.

While these strategies can help in the short-term to lessen anxiety, you will only need to do them more and more often because your “bad” thoughts appear more frequently when you try to push them away. This can easily lead to you feeling trapped because you do not know what to do if you do not use some sort of coping skills or strategies. Your life can begin to feel controlled by your “bad” thoughts and your constant need to control them.

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How To Support Someone Who Is Grieving

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How To Support Someone Who Is Grieving

When a loved one loses someone important in their life, it does not just disrupt their day-to-day activities, but it changes their life forever. When someone you love experiences the death of a loved one, especially a sudden and unexpected passing, it is difficult to know how to offer support and comfort. You may not know what to say and you may even be afraid to say the wrong thing.

This can particularly be the case if you have not experienced the loss of a person before. You may not know how to relate to the other person since you never experienced those emotions. The truth is that, even if you have experienced feelings of grief, it is still hard to know how to console a relative or friend who is grieving. Even if it seems like nothing you can say or do will help the situation, do not stop offering your support and condolences. Accept that you cannot fix the situation, and focus on the present.

Grief is a gradual process. All you can do is be there as a pillar of support for your friend or relative, and hold a positive attitude about the future. Something as small as sending flowers, delivering a meal, or helping out your loved one with household tasks can be an immense source of help.

No matter what, try to be flexible and open to your loved one’s method of grieving. Grieving looks different for everyone. For example, if a friend loses a person who they had a close relationship with, but you want to continue your weekend tradition of getting brunch, still extend the invitation to your friend. Be prepared for your friend to say “no” and be accepting of their choice, but simply offering them that sense of support and “normalcy” during a chaotic time can be helpful. If your friend declines the offer, that is okay. You can check in on them the next day.

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4 Ways To Cope With A Panic Disorder

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4 Ways To Cope With A Panic Disorder

Some people experience panic attacks once or twice during their life, but others experience them constantly and more abruptly. Nobody likes to have panic attacks, and having them non-stop can take a toll on you. Panic disorders are exhausting and scary. A panic disorder is basically an ongoing case of unpredictable, intense panic attacks. The mental and physical symptoms can be so intense that seeking outside help, like the assistance of a panic disorder therapist near you, can be a great way to help you get the support you need.


Despite your best efforts to convince yourself that you are okay, panic attacks can still occur. While there is no universal magic cure to panic attacks, there are effective methods that you can learn to help manage your symptoms. This blog will give you a deeper understanding of panic attacks and panic disorder and what you can do to overcome and cope with them.

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Do I Have A Social Media Addiction?

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Do I Have A Social Media Addiction?

We’ve all heard it before- social media seriously impacts your mental health. But how does it do so? The constant news can be conflicting. Some reports claim that social media can be an amazing tool for networking and connection, bringing people together like never before. On the other hand, other sources tell us of the detrimental impact social media can have on our mental health, advocating for temporarily disabling your social media accounts and limiting screen time.

Human beings are social creatures. We need connection to other people to thrive and grow to our fullest potential. The strength of those relationships can have a big impact on your happiness and overall mental health.

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Is Art Therapy Actually Effective?

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Is Art Therapy Actually Effective?

How can painting or coloring really provide insight into your mental health? Is a drawing you created actually representative of your mental state? Is sculpting truly a form of self-expression? If you have ever asked yourself any of these questions or simply wondered if art therapy is for you, continue reading this blog for more information!


Art is merely more than an outlet for your creativity. At its core, it is a channel for self-expression and understanding. In art therapy, your licensed art therapist will teach you how to unveil your artwork to discover deeper messages and symbols. By examining the psychological method behind your creations, an art therapist near you assists you in identifying your concealed feelings. Contrary to the belief of some people, art therapy is a proven, effective method for mental health issues and it can help you reveal different aspects of your own identity.

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How to Cope With Empty Nest Syndrome

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How to Cope With Empty Nest Syndrome

When you become a parent, it can quickly become the main component of your identity. You may lose yourself while taking care of your children while balancing work and other life responsibilities at the same time. Many parents often regard parenthood as one of the most challenging yet meaningful things they will ever do.

As the saying goes, the days are long but the years go by fast. One day you may be potty training and, then you blink, and you are getting ready to send your teen away to college. For at least 18 years, your life has revolved around your child. You may have been in charge of carpools, making sure that your child gets to all of their extracurricular activities in a timely manner, or having to guide them with homework or additional school projects. Then, when your teen leaves for college or to the workforce, your day-to-day life instantly changes.

If you are going through this, please know that it is normal to feel loss or uncertainty when your child leaves. This may be an only child or your youngest. Whatever the case, your feelings are valid. The main objective of parenting is to raise a healthy young adult who can live life independent of you. While your child is taking on a major life transition, moving out of their childhood home or going to college, you should take pride in the fact that you did the best you could and your child will be okay. Even if you acknowledge the hard work and effort you put into parenting, you may still be struggling. This may be what we commonly refer to as empty nest syndrome.

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Everything You Need to Know About CBT for PTSD

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Everything You Need to Know About CBT for PTSD

Most people know about Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) as shell shock. You may be experiencing debilitating nightmares or find yourself being over-reactive. PTSD is commonly attributed to the military community. While PTSD in veterans is a common occurrence, you do not have to be in the service to have PTSD.

PTSD symptoms can impact anyone. PTSD is a type of anxiety disorder that occurs after a deeply scary or intimidating event. You do not even have to be directly involved in the event for you to experience PTSD. That is to say, the pure shock of the event can be so large that you have a difficult time living a normal life.

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How Therapy Can Alleviate Mom Guilt

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How Therapy Can Alleviate Mom Guilt

When you think of your children, do automatic thoughts of guilt come to mind? Maybe you blame yourself for your child getting their cold. Maybe you are filled with a sense of wrongdoing after having to work extra shifts to pay the bills.

You may have a little voice in your head that keeps telling you that you are not enough. No matter what you do or how much you sacrifice, you could always be doing more and doing things in a more efficient manner. When you feel this way, it is important to remember that you are not alone, and you do not need to feed into your mom guilt.

Overcoming mom guilt is a unique journey since it looks different to everyone. For example, you may find that unfollowing “supermoms” on Instagram does wonders for your mental health. On the other hand, you may take a different approach. For instance, you may need to reframe your thoughts on what it takes to be a good mom in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT).

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10 Ways to Deal with Seasonal Depression

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10 Ways to Deal with Seasonal Depression

Though many people love the fall, for some, the shorter days and less light prompts the re-emergence of their Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) or what's more commonly referred to as “seasonal depression”. SAD is usually triggered by the changing of the seasons, typically hitting an individual at around the same time each year.

It varies from person to person on which seasons cause the change in their mood but typically it either affects an individual during the spring and summer, or fall and winter. In this case, we will be discussing how to fight back against the days getting shorter and the sunlight disappearing faster as the winter form is the most prevalent type of SAD.

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Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational Trauma Right

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Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational Trauma Right

Disney has a way of exploring heavier life topics that can help children and the 2021 film Encanto is no exception. Movies like Inside Out and Soul also assist children in exploring heavier aspects of life, such as emotions, trauma, consciousness, and even death. Encanto joins the long list of children’s movies that have a deeper message.

Disney’s Encanto offers a multigenerational story about a grandmother and her family who have been endowed with magical gifts. The Madrigal family lives in a hidden village in Colombia. While each family member does their best to live up to their reputation and help others in the community, the facade slowly begins to crumble figuratively and literally in the house that all three generations share.
Not only do people love this movie because of its catchy soundtrack, including the famous song “We don’t talk about Bruno”, but people also love it because of its exploration of generational trauma.

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How to Manage OCD Intrusive Thoughts with CBT

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How to Manage OCD Intrusive Thoughts with CBT

Do you struggle with intrusive thoughts? Do they seemingly pop into your head from thin air? You might be grabbing a coffee or commuting to work when, all of a sudden, an unwanted thought pops into your head. It can be a bizarre image or a crazy thought. You are left questioning that thought or perhaps you think about it obsessively and start to become anxious.

The thought could be harmless, like doing something embarrassing in a social setting, or it could be more harmful, such as a tragedy happening to your family members or other loved ones who you would never want to harm. If you struggle with this, please take comfort in knowing that you are not alone.

If you struggle with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD), you can experience intrusive thoughts regularly and you may be looking for a way to stop them in their tracks. These thoughts are automatic which may make you feel like you do not have control over them. This only worsens your stress levels and may even lead you to cope in unhealthy ways.

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How To Mentally Prepare For Going Back To College

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How To Mentally Prepare For Going Back To College

As summer comes to a close, it can be hard to dodge those “back-to-school” commercials and emails flooding our inboxes of purchasing school supplies. You get a daily reminder that your few months of a break is quickly coming to an end. You may have purchased your college textbooks or a new fall wardrobe, but are you really ready to go back? How do you mentally prepare yourself for a new semester or, perhaps, your first time stepping foot on campus as a freshman?

Even though you are registered for classes and have your bag packed with books, pencils, and other supplies, your preparation does not end there. You may feel stressed or anxious like your few months of freedom is coming to an end. Stress, deadlines, homework, and exams will quickly fill up your schedule.

While college can be a stressful experience at times, it can be equally as exciting. The college experience is unique. For some people, it is often regarded as the “best years of their life.” While looking forward to your next year at college, try to view it with as much excitement as you do with nervous anticipation.

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Career Counseling: Protect Your Mental Health During A Job Change

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Career Counseling: Protect Your Mental Health During A Job Change

Are you uninterested in your current job? Do you dislike your workplace with a passion? If you answered “yes” to either or both of these questions, it is time to get real with yourself. Why do you stay at a job that you hate?

While there are many reasons why you may make the active decision to stay at a job you dislike, one of the biggest factors is likely financial security and general fear. While you may think that staying at this job is the right choice, you are not doing yourself any favors. Even if you examine your job positively and try to focus on the benefits, you can still do damage to your mental health if the cons outweigh the advantages.

Maybe a career shift is right for you, but it is an understandably scary process! It can be a time of great uncertainty which can fuel any existing mental health problems. If you are looking to change professional paths, safeguarding your mental health is essential.

For many people, our jobs can unfortunately be a factor that contributes to one’s poor mental health. However, the negative impact that your job has on your well-being can be corrected when you decide to make the brave choice to walk away from a toxic work environment or, generally, a job that does not serve you.

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How LGBTQIA+ Couples Counseling Is Unique

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How LGBTQIA+ Couples Counseling Is Unique

Are you in a LGBTQIA+ relationship and experiencing frequent conflicts or disagreements in your relationship? Do you and your partner struggle with meaningful connection, infidelity, or lack of intimacy? Are you in need of a LGBTQIA+ couples therapist who is culturally competent and understands LGBTQIA+ issues? If so, keep reading this article!

Couples counseling can benefit any couple at any time, but it can be especially beneficial for LGBTQIA+ couples who face a unique set of challenges. Therapeutic work in the LGBTQIA+ community is different. Typically, the focus of couples counseling, particularly in the media, can be centered around heterosexual, monogamous couples. The lack of representation you may witness is no need to stop you from seeking the help your relationship deserves and needs.

You may feel stuck in your relationship at the moment. For example, your partnership may look very different from what you envisioned for yourself. You may have issues surrounding communication or need to learn how to work collaboratively to tackle life issues. Like many other couples, when you avoid these behaviors, they can turn into patterns that negatively affect your relationship in the long-run. These patterns can manifest as daily fights or chronic silent treatments.

Whether you and your partner are battling intimacy issues, exploring the possibility of an open relationship, or dealing with the aftermath of infidelity, these situations can breed excess stress, anxiety, and the weakening of a connection for any couple. When you couple these problems with identity-specific struggles, the setbacks can worsen the quality of your relationship, making LGBTQIA+ couples therapy that much more necessary.

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Parenting A Child With ADHD

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Parenting A Child With ADHD

Life with a child or teenager with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) can be troubling and overwhelming at times. It is not traditional child rearing. Typical rules and household routines can seem impracticable in your situation, depending on your child’s symptoms. Therefore, different approaches may have to be embraced. It can be hard to cope with some of your child’s behaviors, but there are always ways to make improvements and, ultimately, make life for your family easier.

As a parent, you can help your child overcome daily struggles by guiding them on how to channel their energy into positive forces. This step alone will bring greater serenity to your family. The earlier and more consistently you address your child’s issues by seeking the help of a professional, the better off your child will be. If you continue to let the problems linger, it can unfortunately cause bigger problems down the road which will negatively impact your child’s development and delay their mental and behavioral success.

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Benefits of Adoption Therapy For Your Family

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Benefits of Adoption Therapy For Your Family

Making the monumental decision to adopt a child is extremely special and rewarding; however, it can also be a difficult process. Creating a family through adoption is complex. Many times, people may try to overlook or ignore these complexities. Instead, they should be appreciated and given the time and care that they require for resolution!

As a parent going through the adoption process, it is important to be intentional regarding the support you seek and the education you obtain. No matter how much love you have to offer, children can easily feel emotionally isolated and/or silenced during the adoption process. Luckily, adoption focused therapy can be a positive step for parents or caregivers and children alike.
Whether you are in the early stages of adoption or deep in the trenches of post-adoption life, adoption counseling may be the right move for your family. Working hand-in-hand with an adoption therapist can help support each family member with their own mental health struggles while strengthening the family unit as a whole.

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Building A Stronger Relationship With Your Partner Post-Baby

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Building A Stronger Relationship With Your Partner Post-Baby

The transition from a couple to a family of three (or even more!) can be one of the biggest changes you will face in your relationship. It is exciting, invigorating, and generally glorious. It can also be tiresome, worrisome, and aggravating. The combination of these emotions can be threatening to the romantic relationship that gave you a child in the first place.

While raising a child can be a difficult experience at times, many couples find that they grow stronger after expanding their family, connecting in ways they have never experienced before. You may have a new level of respect for your partner after the birth of your child and share experiences together as a family that bring you that much closer together.

On the other hand, if you are experiencing relationship problems after the welcoming of your child, you are not alone. Many couples experience bumps in the road as they navigate their new world. It is best to deal with issues as they occur instead of burying them.

Maintaining a marriage after a baby takes time and energy. As a new parent, time and energy may be the last things you want to give. However, actively choosing to put the work into your relationship is beneficial in the long-run. Instead of growing resentful of each other, you and your partner can learn to enjoy spending each moment with one another.

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How To Know If It’s The Right Time To Move In With Your Partner

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How To Know If It’s The Right Time To Move In With Your Partner

So, you want to officially move in with your partner? Congratulations! Moving in together can be as equally scary as it is exciting. It is likely that you have witnessed your partner in their environment on their best behavior, but moving in together means that you will see all sides of a person every single day.

You may feel like you and your partner are practically living together at a certain point. You might stay over their place so often that you only run back to your apartment when necessary to grab the mail or some new clothes. It may seem like moving in together is a natural progression and the next step in your relationship.

Moving in together is an important milestone in any relationship since it is a true testament of your commitment to one another. It also provides you with an opportunity to see what a potential life together would look like. Living with your partner can be extremely rewarding and help you construct a foundation for a long-term relationship or even a marriage. Regardless of what your unique goals are for your relationship, it is crucial to approach the moving-in process in the right way.

Moving in together is a lot more than transferring some boxes filled with your belongings into a space. Together, you and your partner have to decide what stays and what goes, discuss how you will be splitting financial responsibilities of your new place, get mentally prepared to share a space with each other 24/7, and more!

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7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues

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7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues

Do you have a hard time going with the flow? Do you have to follow a schedule or routine at all times? Do you try to control other people in your life? If you are dealing with control issues, it is likely that you feel like you must exert power over your life, relationships, and general environment. In some cases, this exertion of power may extend to the life of other people.

Control can simply be defined as exerting influence or power over the environment, actions, and behaviors of yourself or another person. There are many reasons why you may feel like you need to be in control, such as insecurities or fear of the unpredictable. At times, your need for control may become overwhelming and tiring, causing chaos in your career, relationships, and your overall quality of life.

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Ghosting: Why It Happens & How To Heal From It

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Ghosting: Why It Happens & How To Heal From It

At this point in time, it is likely that you have heard of the term “ghosting''.” When you are ghosted, it can be an incredibly difficult situation to process. You may not even know how to react or feel about the situation because the cause of the ghosting is unknown. This passive break-up strategy can leave you feeling upset, confused, angry, and/or embarrassed.

Ghosting is not a new phenomenon, but the introduction of dating apps can make it seem much more prevalent than ever before. It is important to understand that you are not alone, and many people have been ghosted before.

The truth is ghosting hurts, so there is no sense in pretending that it does not. You are a human being, and it is okay to feel however you feel about the situation. When you are ghosted, you are experiencing a previously good feeling turn into something negative. This disruption often comes without warning, so the typical human response is to feel shame. However, once you acknowledge your pain, you can take back your power and move on from the situation in a graceful manner.