toxic relationship, relationship counseling, couples therapy, hoboken therapist, jersey city therapist, marriage counseling, nj therapist, nyc therapist, premarital counseling
Courtney Glashow
How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship

When you are in a healthy relationship, it naturally functions well. Of course, like any couple, you may have disagreements from time-to-time or there may be some hard times, but you band together no matter what. You are able to make major life decisions together, discuss problems once they occur, and genuinely enjoy spending time with one another.

On the other hand, you have toxic relationships. In a toxic relationship, the ‘norm’ is feeling drained and unhappy after spending time with your partner. This should be a major red flag that some things need to change.

You may still love your partner, but the relationship does not seem enjoyable. Maybe minor issues turn into full-blown arguments or you always seem to provoke one another. It may even get so severe that you dread spending time with your partner instead of getting excited to see them, like you were in the past.

Continue reading this blog to see if your relationship is toxic, and some guidance on how to navigate a toxic relationship.

How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship
Intergenerational Trauma, trauma counseling, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational ...

Disney has a way of exploring heavier life topics that can help children and the 2021 film Encanto is no exception. Movies like Inside Out and Soul also assist children in exploring heavier aspects of life, such as emotions, trauma, consciousness, and even death. Encanto joins the long list of children’s movies that have a deeper message.

Disney’s Encanto offers a multigenerational story about a grandmother and her family who have been endowed with magical gifts. The Madrigal family lives in a hidden village in Colombia. While each family member does their best to live up to their reputation and help others in the community, the facade slowly begins to crumble figuratively and literally in the house that all three generations share.
Not only do people love this movie because of its catchy soundtrack, including the famous song “We don’t talk about Bruno”, but people also love it because of its exploration of generational trauma.

Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational Trauma Right
control issues, mental health blog, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues

Do you have a hard time going with the flow? Do you have to follow a schedule or routine at all times? Do you try to control other people in your life? If you are dealing with control issues, it is likely that you feel like you must exert power over your life, relationships, and general environment. In some cases, this exertion of power may extend to the life of other people.

Control can simply be defined as exerting influence or power over the environment, actions, and behaviors of yourself or another person. There are many reasons why you may feel like you need to be in control, such as insecurities or fear of the unpredictable. At times, your need for control may become overwhelming and tiring, causing chaos in your career, relationships, and your overall quality of life.

7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues
couples therapy, hoboken counseling, jersey city therapist, mental health blog, nyc counselor, relationship counseling
Courtney Glashow
8 Tips for Dealing With A Narcissist

While some people may be quick to throw the word “narcissist” around, it is important to remember that there is a distinction between someone being self-centered and unsympathetic, and someone who has Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Many people may have what doctors call narcissistic characteristics, such as feeling entitled or having a strong sense of self-importance. People who have narcissistic personality disorder may be challenging to deal with.

The first step to determine your dynamic with someone who you think is a narcissist is to know the difference between someone with narcissistic tendencies and someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

8 Tips for Dealing With A Narcissist
trauma counseling, nyc counselor, nj therapist, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
How to Heal Childhood Trauma as an Adult

When you think of a child, you probably imagine a young person who is resilient and fast-moving. These traits may cause you to believe that situations do not leave a lasting impact on children’s emotional health; however, that is not the case. If left unsolved, your emotions that came from a traumatic experience as a child can live in your subconscious mind. This will continue to affect you until you detect, process, and solve it. In order to heal childhood trauma as an adult, you have to learn how to process painful emotions.

A healthy way to respond to childhood trauma occurs right after the trauma has taken place. When the trauma occurs, you recognize that it is an offense to yourself. Afterward, you would feel your emotions and acknowledge the fact that the offense does not dictate anything about you personally. In other words, you do not make a negative meaning out of what occurred. Generally, it is rare for people to react in this manner.

This process is not automatic. Certain emotions, like rage and unhappiness, are difficult to express. On top of that, some cultures may view this outpouring of emotions to be socially unacceptable. Therefore, this causes many people to suppress their emotions. For a kid, this process is even more burdensome. For instance, someone may comment on a child’s weight or a part of their body which can cause a long-lasting inner dialogue to occur in the kid’s head, creating body dysmorphia. While this can happen to adults as well, it may be easier for an adult to push aside outside commentary in comparison to a child.

How to Heal Childhood Trauma as an Adult

Jersey City NJ therapist

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Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in Families

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Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in Families

Scapegoating means that you are blaming a person or group for something bad that has happened or for something that someone else has done. Scapegoating typically occurs to protect the image of a person or family. In a family dynamic, a person may be used as the scapegoat to protect a more favored member in the family. While it is common for one person to be used as the scapegoat, it can happen to multiple people.

Scapegoating can occur in different environments, such as work, but it is most prominent in unhealthy family dynamics. In this case, scapegoating then tends to start in childhood when a child is blamed for all of a family’s dysfunction and problems. A scapegoat bears the burden of taking on the mistakes of a family or team. 

When children are assigned this role at a young age, it can wreak havoc on their mental health. A scapegoated child may not believe that they are inherently good, worthy, or lovable. Instead, they hear insults regularly, experience constant bullying, and even abuse and neglect. This leads to a low self-esteem, decreased self-confidence, and negative self-talk. 

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Navigating Train and Subway Anxiety: A Commuter’s Guide from Hoboken and Jersey City to New York City

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Navigating Train and Subway Anxiety: A Commuter’s Guide from Hoboken and Jersey City to New York City

Fear of crime on public transportation is a big concern in a lot of cities throughout the United States and, as Hoboken and Jersey City commuters understand, New York City is no exception to this phenomenon. With constant news coverage highlighting the fear-inducing stories of physical violence occurring in the city, anxiety and stress levels naturally spike.

When you are on-edge, it may feel like every little thing is enhancing your anxiety from the screech of the train on the tracks to the sea of faces you see passing you by. There are many intricacies of train and subway anxiety that a Hoboken or Jersey City commuter can experience on their journey into New York City. Continue reading this blog to learn about the contributing factors of public transportation anxiety and how to apply practical strategies to navigate your anxiety concerns with strength!

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Do Affirmations Really Work?

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Do Affirmations Really Work?

Let us face the truth of the matter- sometimes standing in front of a mirror and telling yourself all of these really wonderful things when it does not match how you are feeling inside seems pointless. There is an obvious disconnect in the moment; however, affirmations do promote self-confidence over an extended period of time and usage. For more information, read “5 Ways to Build Self-Confidence.”

Affirmations are an effective way to manage and alter any unhelpful and/or negative thoughts or behavior patterns you may be experiencing. During challenging times, affirmations can enhance your self-esteem and confidence. By using affirmations daily, you will begin to conquer your fears and self-sabotaging tendencies as well as mitigate your stress and anxiety.

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Everything You Need To Know About Sexual Trauma Therapy

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Everything You Need To Know About Sexual Trauma Therapy

Anyone who has experienced physical or sexual violence in their life knows the devastating affects it can have on your psychological well-being and physical self. Even after the sexual trauma has happened, the negative ramifications continue to live on. After your trauma, you may lose faith in humanity, therefore making it more difficult for you to trust people.

Healing from sexual trauma is a highly individualized experience, and there is no timeline put on healing. In order to journey ahead on this emotionally-taxing process, you need to practice time, patience, self-compassion, and locate the right resources, like a trauma therapist.

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When to Seek A Therapist as a Stay-At-Home-Mom (SAHM) in Hoboken + Jersey City

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When to Seek A Therapist as a Stay-At-Home-Mom (SAHM) in Hoboken + Jersey City

Raising children is no easy task. As the age-old saying goes, “It takes a village to raise a child”, but what happens if you do not have that village to rely on? What if child care is always on you? Raising a child is a privilege, but it does not mean that it is an easy task by any means. It is a continuous labor of love and, even when you feel like you have nothing else to give, you have to keep going.

Due to a variety of reasons, you may have opted to become a Stay-At-Home Mom (SAHM). Perhaps you have always wanted to be an extra hands-on mother or, due to the cost of child care, you have decided to stay at home, handle the kids, and other daily responsibilities. Fathers can also take on the role of a stay-at-home parent, but the position is primarily occupied by mothers. According to the Pew Research Center, 26% of mothers stay at home while only 7% of fathers stay at home.

As a SAHM, it is normal to feel down from time to time. Just like any other job, the days can feel mundane and you may feel isolated from adult interactions. However, if you are experiencing constant thoughts of despair or feel purposeless, you may be dealing with SAHM burnout or SAHM depression.

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6 Ways to Get Rid of Homesickness

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6 Ways to Get Rid of Homesickness

When you are away from home and in a new environment, you may experience homesickness, also known as a feeling of emotional distress. You may have moved temporarily or permanently, such as being a college student, working in the military, or being a migrant or refugee. According to the BBC, up to 70 percent of people experience homesickness at one point in time.

Feeling homesick is common following a major life transition, like graduating high school and beginning your college career. Everyone reacts differently to homesickness, but some common signs and symptoms can include anxiety, depression, and physical symptoms. To learn more about your physical symptoms, check out our previous blog “3 Ways to Manage Your Physical Anxiety Symptoms.” To overcome your homesickness, it is important to maintain a connection to your home while also taking steps to modify your current setting so it fits your needs. For more information, keep reading along!

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Are You In A Relationship With A Controlling Partner?

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Are You In A Relationship With A Controlling Partner?

A relationship is based on mutual respect, satisfaction, and love. When negative qualities begin to creep in and dominate your relationship instead, your connection can take an unhealthy turn rather quickly. Control issues can manifest different ways depending on the type of romantic connection present. Control issues may not even be noticeable in the beginning of a relationship.

Control issues can be very harmful to a relationship. Whether you are the controller or feel like you are the partner being controlled, you may not even notice it until the damage to your relationship has already ensued. 

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3 Steps to Becoming More Vulnerable

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3 Steps to Becoming More Vulnerable

Vulnerability plays an important role in our ability to connect with other people. Vulnerability includes emotional exposure with a certain level of unpredictability. When you learn how to be unguarded, you are also learning how to accept a degree of emotional risk that comes along with being open and willing to give and receive love.

If you are afraid of being vulnerable, you are not alone. It is a very common fear to have. However, once you comprehend vulnerability at its core and understand that there is an emotional challenge, you will gain appreciation for being vulnerable and realize that it is well worth the effort. In turn, you can become more vulnerable with the people you care about the most, and build better and stronger connections with your loved ones.

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What to Expect in Sex Therapy

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What to Expect in Sex Therapy

If you are looking to achieve satisfaction in your sex life, sex therapy may be the answer. Working with a licensed sex therapist can help you as an individual or couple in resolving common sexual issues, such as intimacy issues and sexual dysfunction. Sex counseling is just like any other form of talk therapy - you sit down with a couples counselor to work through your problems.

Some couples can take care of their sexual relationship on their own while others may need some assistance and that is perfectly okay. There needs to be a balance of “I” and “we” in a relationship and your sex therapist will likely stress this concept to you.

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Overcoming the Trap of Toxic Positivity

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Overcoming the Trap of Toxic Positivity

When someone is going through a difficult life transition, you may want to jump to offering words of wisdom or encourage them to focus on the positive. After all, positivity is a good thing, right? While positivity refers to the practice of being optimistic, the pressure to be positive no matter what is going on in your life can go wrong, causing serious issues down the road.

If you adopt a mindset of toxic positivity, you believe that everything is okay when, in reality, it is not. In a world filled with social comparison, you may feel pressure to create the illusion or even make yourself believe that everything is going fine, but life is much more complicated than that. Life is not always going to be all rainbows and butterflies and, once you accept that, you can see that there is beauty in that and in ditching the mindset of toxic positivity!

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What Is Seasonal Affective Disorder and How Is It Treated?

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What Is Seasonal Affective Disorder and How Is It Treated?

You may be feeling down this winter, unhappy and not like yourself. Many of us have heard the term “seasonal depression” or “winter blues.” Many adults, especially women, feel this way but are unsure why and what to do about it. You could be suffering from Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), which is a highly treatable mental health condition.

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How to Battle The Loneliness Epidemic

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How to Battle The Loneliness Epidemic

As human beings, our need to socially connect with other people is innate. Loneliness can occur when there is a gap present between your desire for a social connection and the actual experiences of it. This gap can trigger a state of distress or discomfort. Even if you are surrounded by a lot of people throughout the day, you may still experience loneliness. Loneliness can threaten both your mental and physical health.

Anyone can experience loneliness, but the way each person experiences it is unique. It is completely possible to feel lonely without necessarily being alone. On the other hand, you may be alone and not feel lonely at all.

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6 Benefits of Polyamorous Couples Therapy

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6 Benefits of Polyamorous Couples Therapy

Non-monogamy is a general term for any relationship outside of monogamy, including polyamory. Polyamory is a specific type of non-monogamy. Polyamory is when a person or partners have multiple romantic connections. The word “polyamory” actually has its roots in Greek and Latin meaning “many loves.”

Polyamorous relationships can include emotional connection as well as sexual activity. In polyamorous relationships, everyone is aware of the type of relationship they are in and mutual consent is given.

In recent years, polyamorous relationships have grown in popularity and even become more mainstream due to their presence in the media, such as seen on Dr. Orna Guralnik’s show Couples Therapy. For a breakdown on this hit television show, read our past blog “Dr. Orna Guralnik’s Couples Therapy Show: A Window Into Real Relationships.” While more people know about polyamorous relationships, there may be a lack of resources for those involved in these types of connections. At Anchor Therapy, we have couples counselors who specialize in polyamorous relationships. 

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5 Different Types Of Play Therapy And How They Can Help Your Child

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5 Different Types Of Play Therapy And How They Can Help Your Child

Finding the right therapy that works for your child or teen can be tricky. Every child is unique and may have different goals, attention spans, and levels of maturity. Children may complain about going to therapy because they may not fully understand how it can help them - or they may not realize that they need help at all. As their parent, all you want to do is get your child the help they need. Kids like to engage in things that entertain them. Children can have short attention spans and it can be hard to keep them focused. Introversion and shyness is another thing that many adolescents may struggle with. 

Therapy can help with things like developing coping skills, communication tactics, realistic life goals, and helping you to achieve the best version of yourself. When a child is going through a negative feeling, experience, and/or mindset they may not even fully understand that they’re being negatively affected. Therapy can help your child in many different ways.

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Navigating Job Loss with Career Counseling

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Navigating Job Loss with Career Counseling

As the 2023 year progressed, Americans witnessed a cooling of the job market which, in turn, caused the self-confidence levels of workers to decrease. High interest rates, inflation, and general financial stress has caused anxiety amongst everyone, including those who are in the process of a job transition.

Whether you have been laid off, downsized, or forced to take an early retirement, losing employment is one of life’s most stressful occurrences. If you recently lost your job, you are not alone. Besides the obvious financial ramifications of losing your job, it can also have a negative impact on your mood, relationships, friendships, and overall mental and emotional health. The lack of clarity you feel when you lose your job is strong but, luckily, there are things you can do to make yourself feel better.

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Balancing Home and College: Navigating Mental Health During Holiday Breaks

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Balancing Home and College: Navigating Mental Health During Holiday Breaks

The Holidays can be a very exciting time. Around the time of the holidays, there is a lot of joy and giving. People are usually in high spirits and excited for the holiday. For college students, this may look different. This is the time when college students are cramming for exams, overwhelmed and stressed, all leading up to going home for winter break. This can take a significant toll on the mental health of students. After finals and moving back into their parent's house, being back in their hometown can be a significant change. With so much going on, not having the chance to sit down and reflect on these changes can result in feelings of anxiety and depression. 


Feeling mentally and physically drained after college semester:

The weeks leading up to going home for winter break can be extremely stressful and mentally taxing. Coming home for winter break can be very exciting but also sad. Although it is the holidays, you are ready to go home and miss your family. Right before going home, you may find yourself staying up late, cramming for your final exams. You may be trying to fit in social time with your friends before you go your separate ways for the break. In just a few short weeks after Thanksgiving break, you may be homesick and feeling burnt out with the end of the semester so close. Jumping back into school after being off for a week and being expected to study and take exams can take a toll on college students. After a long semester and the finish line so close, it can be hard to push yourself to that last stretch.

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Navigating Post-Grad Life: 9 Essential Insights for Recent College Graduates

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Navigating Post-Grad Life: 9 Essential Insights for Recent College Graduates

College may have been the best or worst years of your life. Regardless of how your experience may have gone, you are about to face a lot of uncertainty and change after graduating. You are now about to enter the real world and all of the responsibilities that come with it. The student loan bills you thought you had years to pay back may ambush you when you really aren't prepared for them. You may find yourself jobless, not knowing what you want to do for the rest of your life. Maybe you found a job but realize this is not what you want to do for the rest of your life. Or maybe you live in your parent's basement and are unable to support yourself financially. These are concerns that most college students don't think about because we like to have our dreams and aspirations, but what happens if those dreams don't come true? With these 9 things you wish you knew about life after college, you can find ways to prepare or work through the struggles you may face during this life change. 

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Swipe Smart: Navigating Online Dating and Mental Health with Dating Therapy

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Swipe Smart: Navigating Online Dating and Mental Health with Dating Therapy

In a world of swiping left and right on dating apps, it is easy to think that the love of your life could be right at your fingertips. However, if you are someone who is on a dating app, you may have found out the reality that it is not that easy to find your person whether you are looking for something casual, a short-term relationship, or your forever partner.

In other words, modern dating presents its fair share of challenges. There are the practical challenges, such as cycling through the various dating apps, finding compatible people in your area, and carving out the time in your schedule to genuinely connect with others. Then, there are the more emotionally-charged problems, like ghosting, love bombing, and even seeing things take a turn for the ugly when you reject a person.

Instead of waiting around for Mr. Right or Mrs. Right, you can take control of your happiness now by meeting with a dating therapist and continuing to read this helpful blog!

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7 Tips for Maintaining a Healthy Relationship in College

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7 Tips for Maintaining a Healthy Relationship in College

Why College Relationships Are Different

Dating in college may often feel or look different than a relationship you may have had in high school. In college, there are additional possibilities to find new people to connect with, along with the freedom to explore your identity in ways you were deprived of in high school. Coming into college with a relationship can be a challenge. Separating your personal lives and gaining new experiences without your partner is one of the biggest struggles. It is important not to limit yourself and spend all your time with them. 


College relationships are typically more mature than the relationships you may have had in high school. In college, you have the freedom to date who you want and the ability to hang out with people without parent's opinions or rules about when, where, and how long you can see this person. You will also be less likely to permit petty arguments or miscommunications that you may have with an immature relationship. Your partner will most likely have a different schedule than you and have their own responsibilities, such as school work or if they are a part of a club. This is different from when you were in high school and may have been confined to being in the same school building for eight hours a day every day. A college campus is large, and your classes may be on different sides of the campus or at different times. This makes it unlikely you will run into your partner on your way to class if you go to the same school. If you plan to have a long-distance relationship with your high school partner everything will most likely change. In order for the relationship to work it is going to require effort from both sides and some changes will have to be made.

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4 Tips On How To Build Close Relationships Within The Immediate Family

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4 Tips On How To Build Close Relationships Within The Immediate Family

Every family has a different structure, background, culture, and set of values. For some, family relationships come easy. However, the “perfect” family doesn’t really exist. There’s so many different variations and circumstances for families that it can be stressful to adjust to the particular environment. 

The “standard” family structure, the American Dream, consists of two parents, one or two kids, a nice house, and financial stability. Yet, it’s important to be aware that The American Dream isn’t exactly realistic. You can still be satisfied with your family and life when it doesn’t necessarily adhere to the “perfect” standard.