Scapegoating in Families, family counseling, Hoboken NJ therapist, Jersey City NJ therapist, hudson county therapist
Courtney Glashow
Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in ...

Scapegoating means that you are blaming a person or group for something bad that has happened or for something that someone else has done. Scapegoating typically occurs to protect the image of a person or family. In a family dynamic, a person may be used as the scapegoat to protect a more favored member in the family. While it is common for one person to be used as the scapegoat, it can happen to multiple people.

Scapegoating can occur in different environments, such as work, but it is most prominent in unhealthy family dynamics. In this case, scapegoating then tends to start in childhood when a child is blamed for all of a family’s dysfunction and problems. A scapegoat bears the burden of taking on the mistakes of a family or team. 

When children are assigned this role at a young age, it can wreak havoc on their mental health. A scapegoated child may not believe that they are inherently good, worthy, or lovable. Instead, they hear insults regularly, experience constant bullying, and even abuse and neglect. This leads to a low self-esteem, decreased self-confidence, and negative self-talk. 

Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in Families
toxic relationship, relationship counseling, couples therapy, hoboken therapist, jersey city therapist, marriage counseling, nj therapist, nyc therapist, premarital counseling
Courtney Glashow
How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship

When you are in a healthy relationship, it naturally functions well. Of course, like any couple, you may have disagreements from time-to-time or there may be some hard times, but you band together no matter what. You are able to make major life decisions together, discuss problems once they occur, and genuinely enjoy spending time with one another.

On the other hand, you have toxic relationships. In a toxic relationship, the ‘norm’ is feeling drained and unhappy after spending time with your partner. This should be a major red flag that some things need to change.

You may still love your partner, but the relationship does not seem enjoyable. Maybe minor issues turn into full-blown arguments or you always seem to provoke one another. It may even get so severe that you dread spending time with your partner instead of getting excited to see them, like you were in the past.

Continue reading this blog to see if your relationship is toxic, and some guidance on how to navigate a toxic relationship.

How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship
Intergenerational Trauma, trauma counseling, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational ...

Disney has a way of exploring heavier life topics that can help children and the 2021 film Encanto is no exception. Movies like Inside Out and Soul also assist children in exploring heavier aspects of life, such as emotions, trauma, consciousness, and even death. Encanto joins the long list of children’s movies that have a deeper message.

Disney’s Encanto offers a multigenerational story about a grandmother and her family who have been endowed with magical gifts. The Madrigal family lives in a hidden village in Colombia. While each family member does their best to live up to their reputation and help others in the community, the facade slowly begins to crumble figuratively and literally in the house that all three generations share.
Not only do people love this movie because of its catchy soundtrack, including the famous song “We don’t talk about Bruno”, but people also love it because of its exploration of generational trauma.

Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational Trauma Right
control issues, mental health blog, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues

Do you have a hard time going with the flow? Do you have to follow a schedule or routine at all times? Do you try to control other people in your life? If you are dealing with control issues, it is likely that you feel like you must exert power over your life, relationships, and general environment. In some cases, this exertion of power may extend to the life of other people.

Control can simply be defined as exerting influence or power over the environment, actions, and behaviors of yourself or another person. There are many reasons why you may feel like you need to be in control, such as insecurities or fear of the unpredictable. At times, your need for control may become overwhelming and tiring, causing chaos in your career, relationships, and your overall quality of life.

7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues
couples therapy, hoboken counseling, jersey city therapist, mental health blog, nyc counselor, relationship counseling
Courtney Glashow
8 Tips for Dealing With A Narcissist

While some people may be quick to throw the word “narcissist” around, it is important to remember that there is a distinction between someone being self-centered and unsympathetic, and someone who has Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Many people may have what doctors call narcissistic characteristics, such as feeling entitled or having a strong sense of self-importance. People who have narcissistic personality disorder may be challenging to deal with.

The first step to determine your dynamic with someone who you think is a narcissist is to know the difference between someone with narcissistic tendencies and someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

8 Tips for Dealing With A Narcissist

jersey city therapist

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5 Ways to Solve Common Relationship Problems

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5 Ways to Solve Common Relationship Problems

It is rare to have a completely perfect relationship. It is normal to hit a few bumps in the road. When you can spot these “bumps” ahead of time, you have a great chance of getting over them and not allowing them to detour your life.

There are many different ways that people react to problems in their relationships. Some people may feel angry or helpless while others may want to completely give up after a minor inconvenience. Then, there are other partners who are determined to make it work and will do whatever they can to fix the broken aspects of the relationship.

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7 Ways to Combat Imposter Syndrome

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7 Ways to Combat Imposter Syndrome

Do you feel like you are a fraud? Do you think that you do not belong in your position? Do you think you simply got lucky?

We’ve all been there before. No matter how hard you have worked or how many hours you put in, you may be feeling unworthy. You may feel like you are not qualified for the new job you just got hired for- afraid that your boss and colleagues will discover the “truth” at any given moment. Maybe you feel like you do not have what it takes to raise your child even though they are a priority and you are trying your best.

Please take comfort in knowing that many people have felt this way at one point or another.

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5 Ways to Help Someone Battling Alcohol Addiction

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5 Ways to Help Someone Battling Alcohol Addiction

Alcoholism is extremely common and can be detrimental to someone’s relationship with others. It can be very difficult to watch someone struggle with alcoholism and you may wonder how you can help your loved one. For those who know someone struggling with alcohol abuse, it can be very stressful deciding if or how to help them. You risk them getting very defensive or possibly even ending their relationship with you. There are many ways to create a comfortable environment to talk to your loved one about your concerns and there are many places that can offer professional help.

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Navigating Life After College

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Navigating Life After College

Congratulations on graduating from college! It is undeniably an exciting time in your life. You worked hard for four years and now your dedication has paid off. It is a major accomplishment, and you should be proud of yourself. However, once that diploma is in your hand, you may feel a mixture of emotions- feeling anxious, excited, scared, nervous about your future. If you feel this way, please know that you are not alone and it is completely normal to have these feelings.

Many college students are not prepared for the transition after graduation. Some graduates wish that they would have been more engaged on campus or taken part in different academic and professional opportunities. Other students wish that they would have prepared themselves more for the workforce by participating in an internship or externship. While it is easy to look back and think of what you could have done better, it is important to ground yourself in the present moment and know that you accomplished the ultimate goal- graduating from college.

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When Is It Time To Quit A Job?

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When Is It Time To Quit A Job?

It seems like everywhere you turn, people are talking about “The Great Resignation.” Simply, “The Great Resignation” refers to the economic trend where people are voluntarily resigning from their respective jobs. Therefore, the subject of quitting has never been more popular. While there are many reasons why people may quit their jobs, the most common causes we are seeing are that the job fails to meet the employee’s needs or the job negatively impacts the employee’s mental health.

Safeguarding your mental health at work is undeniably important; however, it has become increasingly hard to do. With electronic devices that provide immediate connection, it is easy to feel like you must always be on the clock. As it already is, we spend a considerable amount of time at work, and the emotional effects of working can transfer into our personal lives. It is crucial to know when to quit your job to protect your mental health.

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The Connection Between Binge Drinking in College and Mental Health

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The Connection Between Binge Drinking in College and Mental Health

College binge drinking has become a new norm for young adults, especially college students. The term “blackout” is widely used. “Blackout” refers to a person getting so intoxicated that they fail to remember the night’s events the following morning. Although “blacking out” is extremely dangerous and negative to one's overall health, it is a part of daily life for many college students.

It is very common for college students to participate in binge drinking, which makes this a public health issue. Alcohol is more accessible to college students than high school students because there is a mix of people who are underage but still participate in drinking and those who have turned the legal age to purchase alcohol. There is almost always free alcohol given away at college parties.

College binge drinking has been routinely highlighted in the overall college experience. A phrase used regularly is “blackout or get out” meaning that you should only be at the event if you plan on getting extremely intoxicated.

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Everything You Need to Know About Divorce Counseling

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Everything You Need to Know About Divorce Counseling

While people often think of couples counseling as a tool to prevent separation, if you and your partner have taken the step towards divorce, therapy can be equally as helpful. Divorce can be a painful process, and divorce counseling can be a positive force in guiding you through the process. As different emotions arise, your divorce therapist can assist you in recognizing and working through them.

In addition to dealing with the tangible components of a divorce, you will also have to deal with the emotional aspects. Many people who get divorced undergo the five stages of grief.

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How Euphoria Gets Mental Health Right

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How Euphoria Gets Mental Health Right

Euphoria is a groundbreaking series that reflects on the lives of teenagers in today's society. It puts an extra focus on analyzing the mental health of the show’s characters with a variety of situations influencing their mental health. It’s getting a massive audience that even crashed HBO for the viewing of the first episode of the second season.

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When is it Time to Seek Anger Management Therapy?

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When is it Time to Seek Anger Management Therapy?

Feelings of anger or violent actions can be related to many underlying mental health issues, such as depression, anxiety, or addiction problems. Some people with anger may suffer from low self-confidence, trust issues, or even have past experiences with physical, emotional, or sexual abuse. There can be overlapping factors that influence one’s anger management issues.

It is important to note that anger is a normal emotion, especially when you feel mistreated or wronged. It should not be something you hide from. In fact, you should learn to express your emotions, but they must be showcased in a healthy way that does not negatively affect other people. When you have control over your anger, you can ensure that your emotions do not get bottled up, remain calm, and learn to effectively show your emotions without harming your relationships. Anger becomes dangerous when harm is done to you or others.

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How CBT Can Help With Your Insomnia

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How CBT Can Help With Your Insomnia

Living with insomnia can be extremely challenging. If you are someone who struggles with insomnia, you may feel like it is an odd or isolating health issue. There are many misconceptions about insomnia, including what triggers insomnia and various treatment methods. Due to these common misunderstandings, it can be difficult to get effective help from family and friends. Therefore, working with a professional is often necessary.

Despite potentially feeling isolated, please try to remember that insomnia impacts many people. You are not alone in your struggles. Insomnia is a common disorder, and there are several effective treatment plans available to you. Often, it is necessary to get professional treatment to ensure that you are getting enough sleep each night to remain healthy and continue to be the best version of yourself.

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How to Stop Self-Sabotaging for Good

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How to Stop Self-Sabotaging for Good

Self-sabotaging refers to specific ideals and behaviors that prevent us from being the best versions of ourselves. Contrary to popular belief, self-sabotaging is a normal part of the human experience. In other words, everyone self-sabotages at some point in time; however, some people may do it more often than others. In fact, it may become so normal to you that you do not even realize that you are self-sabotaging.

Self-sabotaging can often seem mysterious or confusing for some people. While most of us want to do well, we may find ourselves standing in our way. Luckily, there are ways to recognize the forms of self-sabotage and overcome them for good.

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How to Create Realistic New Year’s Resolutions

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How to Create Realistic New Year’s Resolutions

We all have heard the infamous saying, “New year, new me.” While having goals and positive visions for the new year is important, it is also important to create realistic expectations of yourself and your capabilities.

New Year’s resolutions are extremely personal. Some people may want to change internally. For instance, they may want to work on becoming more positive or friendly towards others. While other people's aspirations may be rooted in the external, like money or physical appearance. Having your New Year’s resolution focus on mental health and wellness is a great place to start to set the intention for a year of positive growth.

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5 Effective Ways to Reduce Stress During Final Exams

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5 Effective Ways to Reduce Stress During Final Exams

Every college student knows that final exam week sparks unavoidable stress. Even as students look around their college campus during this time of the semester, you can see that stress taking place in the form of anxiety and sleep deprivation.

Although stress is an inevitable component of life, it can easily take a toll on all aspects of your health- including physical, emotional, and mental health. It can also interfere with your academic success. The stress that college students typically deal with involves alterations in one’s lifestyle, an enlarging workload, new duties, and interpersonal relationships. Finals week can add extra pressure onto this already-stressful situation.

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6 Helpful Tips for Living with Social Anxiety

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6 Helpful Tips for Living with Social Anxiety

At some point in time, everyone gets nervous in social situations. However, if you have Social Anxiety Disorder, seemingly “typical” events can become extremely overwhelming. For those living with Social Anxiety Disorder, you may feel self-conscious and scared in social situations. Even the most casual social situations can leave you feeling drained, criticized, or rejected.

Social Anxiety Disorder, also known as Social Phobia, means that everyday interactions can leave you with extreme anxiety, self-consciousness, and embarrassment. This is often linked to the feeling that others are scrutinizing or negatively judging you.

The fear and anxiety that is created from your Social Anxiety Disorder can disrupt your life, including your relationships, daily routines, work, school, and more.

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8 Tips for Dealing With A Narcissist

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8 Tips for Dealing With A Narcissist

While some people may be quick to throw the word “narcissist” around, it is important to remember that there is a distinction between someone being self-centered and unsympathetic, and someone who has Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Many people may have what doctors call narcissistic characteristics, such as feeling entitled or having a strong sense of self-importance. People who have narcissistic personality disorder may be challenging to deal with.

The first step to determine your dynamic with someone who you think is a narcissist is to know the difference between someone with narcissistic tendencies and someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

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5 Ways to De-Stress This Holiday Season

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5 Ways to De-Stress This Holiday Season

From family gatherings to cooking and baking your favorite dishes, the holidays can truly be a magical time of the year. Seeing the smiles on the faces of your loved ones is precious, and some of the most memorable times can be created during the holiday season. However, it is also important to acknowledge the darkness that can appear during this time of year in the form of holiday stress.

While the holiday season is an undeniably joyous time of year, that does not mean that it does not have its hardships which can easily produce stress. Everyone is normally busy during the holiday season. It can become normal to have a packed schedule during this time of year which may prevent you from allocating some much-needed self-care.

Whether you’re rushing around to get all of your loved one’s presents, preparing dinner for your family, or planning to host the holiday at your house, many tasks need to be completed during the holidays. In other words, it can seem like your to-do list is never-ending on top of other life responsibilities, like work and parenthood for instance.

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5 Reasons Why Marriage Counseling May Be Helpful for You

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5 Reasons Why Marriage Counseling May Be Helpful for You

At some point, every couple experiences conflict. From financial issues to constant bickering, there may be some cracks in your relationship. If your relationship is hitting a bump in the road, there is no reason to panic. In many instances, you may be able to fix these issues on your own. However, there may be a time when you feel that your problems get out of control and become hard to manage. In these situations, marriage counseling, also known as couples counseling, can be extremely helpful.

While couples counseling may only be seen as a resource for relationships in crisis, that is not always the case. In fact, many couples who are not experiencing any major issues find couples therapy to be helpful. They view therapy as a chance to get closer to their partner and get to know their loved one better. Marriage counseling provides couples with tools for healthier, more effective communication.

While falling in love can be an exciting and happy time, sustaining a marriage may have its obstacles. Whether the issues revolve around your partner working late nights or the stress of parenthood, many difficulties can occur in any relationship.

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How to Decide if Family Counseling is the Right Fit for You

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How to Decide if Family Counseling is the Right Fit for You

Deciding to attend therapy is a major decision, and family counseling is no exception. When your family is happy and healthy, it may seem like everything is perfect. Many people experience their happiest moments within a loving, stable, and healthy family unit.

Family is one of the most important connections that we can have with other people. Regardless, many families have their troubles, stresses, and conflicts. If you want to have a healthy and successful family unit, you need to comprehend and pinpoint the needs of each family member. The needs of every family member can be balanced with the welfare of the family as a whole. Family therapy is a special form of counseling that can assist in answering all of those personal and familial needs.

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Everything You Need to Know About Stress Management Therapy

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Everything You Need to Know About Stress Management Therapy

Stress is an inevitable part of life. From worrying about an upcoming exam to stressing about managing a healthy work-life balance, it seems that there is always a matter to worry about. Stress is an automatic reaction to a wearisome event, and it is completely normal. However, there may come a time when stress negatively impacts your life.

Stress has the unique ability to compromise how we think and feel. Stress can impact you both physically and mentally.

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Understanding the Five Love Languages to Improve Your Relationship

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Understanding the Five Love Languages to Improve Your Relationship

A crucial component of a healthy relationship is understanding how to express love to your significant other. Getting to know your partner may take some time. The more time you spend with them, the more you understand their personality, likes, dislikes, and hobbies. Even though you may know your partner well, it may still be difficult to find a meaningful method of communication that your partner resonates with, understands, and fulfills their emotional needs. Therefore, Dr. Gary Chapman, an American author, radio talk show host, and marriage therapist, devised the five love languages.

As a marriage counselor, Dr. Chapman worked with many couples throughout the years and, in the 1990s, he identified a trend amongst all of the couples’ arguments. During marriage counseling, many couples would express that they were trying their best, but their compliments, gifts, and/or gestures were going unnoticed. The other partner did not even notice the acts that they were supposed to be grateful for. Instead, they were hoping that their partner would do something that they could recognize and appreciate. Dr. Chapman realized that these breaks in communication and affection were rooted in different definitions of love.

Dr. Chapman found five distinct ways that people receive and showcase love. Generally, people have one to two languages that they prefer.

The five love languages are as follows:

  1. Quality Time

  2. Acts of Service

  3. Words of Affirmation

  4. Gift Giving

  5. Physical Touch