a trauma bonds similarities to love — Blog — Anchor Therapy, LLC

April 10, 2024

Scapegoating in Families, family counseling, Hoboken NJ therapist, Jersey City NJ therapist, hudson county therapist

Courtney Glashow

Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in ...

Scapegoating means that you are blaming a person or group for something bad that has happened or for something that someone else has done. Scapegoating typically occurs to protect the image of a person or family. In a family dynamic, a person may be used as the scapegoat to protect a more favored member in the family. While it is common for one person to be used as the scapegoat, it can happen to multiple people.

Scapegoating can occur in different environments, such as work, but it is most prominent in unhealthy family dynamics. In this case, scapegoating then tends to start in childhood when a child is blamed for all of a family’s dysfunction and problems. A scapegoat bears the burden of taking on the mistakes of a family or team.

When children are assigned this role at a young age, it can wreak havoc on their mental health. A scapegoated child may not believe that they are inherently good, worthy, or lovable. Instead, they hear insults regularly, experience constant bullying, and even abuse and neglect. This leads to a low self-esteem, decreased self-confidence, and negative self-talk.

Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in Families

February 5, 2024

love bombing, nyc therapist, relationship counseling

Courtney Glashow

Overcoming the Aftermath of Love Bombing

Love bombing is a specific type of emotional abuse. It is a tactic where someone will “bomb” you with extreme displays of affection and attention. While it may seem like this person has fallen head over heels and madly in love with you, there is a darker truth to the matter. A love bomber is using their grand gestures with the intent of manipulating you.

Being showered with love and affection can feel good and even positive at the very beginning of the relationship, but it can lead to serious issues down the road, like gaslighting and abuse. Love bombing is a very common tactic used by narcissists and sociopaths in relationships so they can control you.

Overcoming the Aftermath of Love Bombing

December 14, 2022

toxic relationship, relationship counseling, couples therapy, hoboken therapist, jersey city therapist, marriage counseling, nj therapist, nyc therapist, premarital counseling

Courtney Glashow

How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship

When you are in a healthy relationship, it naturally functions well. Of course, like any couple, you may have disagreements from time-to-time or there may be some hard times, but you band together no matter what. You are able to make major life decisions together, discuss problems once they occur, and genuinely enjoy spending time with one another.

On the other hand, you have toxic relationships. In a toxic relationship, the ‘norm’ is feeling drained and unhappy after spending time with your partner. This should be a major red flag that some things need to change.

You may still love your partner, but the relationship does not seem enjoyable. Maybe minor issues turn into full-blown arguments or you always seem to provoke one another. It may even get so severe that you dread spending time with your partner instead of getting excited to see them, like you were in the past.

Continue reading this blog to see if your relationship is toxic, and some guidance on how to navigate a toxic relationship.

How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship

September 14, 2022

Intergenerational Trauma, trauma counseling, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling

Courtney Glashow

Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational ...

Disney has a way of exploring heavier life topics that can help children and the 2021 film Encanto is no exception. Movies like Inside Out and Soul also assist children in exploring heavier aspects of life, such as emotions, trauma, consciousness, and even death. Encanto joins the long list of children’s movies that have a deeper message.

Disney’s Encanto offers a multigenerational story about a grandmother and her family who have been endowed with magical gifts. The Madrigal family lives in a hidden village in Colombia. While each family member does their best to live up to their reputation and help others in the community, the facade slowly begins to crumble figuratively and literally in the house that all three generations share.
Not only do people love this movie because of its catchy soundtrack, including the famous song “We don’t talk about Bruno”, but people also love it because of its exploration of generational trauma.

Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational Trauma Right

July 13, 2022

control issues, mental health blog, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling

Courtney Glashow

7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues

Do you have a hard time going with the flow? Do you have to follow a schedule or routine at all times? Do you try to control other people in your life? If you are dealing with control issues, it is likely that you feel like you must exert power over your life, relationships, and general environment. In some cases, this exertion of power may extend to the life of other people.

Control can simply be defined as exerting influence or power over the environment, actions, and behaviors of yourself or another person. There are many reasons why you may feel like you need to be in control, such as insecurities or fear of the unpredictable. At times, your need for control may become overwhelming and tiring, causing chaos in your career, relationships, and your overall quality of life.

a trauma bonds similarities to love

Courtney Glashow

July 31, 2024

Trauma Bond Relationship, relationship counseling, nyc therapist, nyc counselor, New York Therapist

What Is A Trauma Bond Relationship?

Courtney Glashow

July 31, 2024

Trauma Bond Relationship, relationship counseling, nyc therapist, nyc counselor, New York Therapist

A trauma bond occurs between a person and someone who mistreats them. This relationship often involves a strong emotional connection. The person who is being hurt may feel confused or even scared of their abuser, but they may also be dependent on them which makes it hard to leave the relationship. This is a trauma-bonded relationship.

A trauma bond involves cycles of negative reinforcement coupled with occasional happenings of positive reinforcement. The bouts of positive reinforcement are what makes it so difficult for people to leave an abusive relationship.

Other people may use the term ‘trauma bonding’ to refer to a different idea- a bond they form with someone by revealing a personal trauma, such as a sexual assault. For the sake of this blog, we will primarily discuss trauma bonding in the context of an unhealthy or toxic relationship.