In the world of COVID-19 and a global pandemic, many people are having a lot of stress and anxiety with the upcoming holidays. Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, New Years Eve, and more holidays are right around the corner. People typically have traditions and plans to see family who they may not typically see throughout the year. December is usually a time when a lot of people get together with not only their loved ones, but also their colleagues and friends during multiple celebrations. In 2020, every social holiday tradition is being challenged and questioned as to how safe it is to celebrate as usual.
Anchor Therapy is a counseling center in Hoboken, NJ with psychotherapists specialized in helping children, teens, adults, and couples with anxiety, depression, relationship issues, trauma, and life transitions. Anchor Therapy is accepting new clients and is now providing telehealth (video/phone) sessions to residents of New Jersey and New York.
There are a few steps when it comes to figuring out first if you need to cancel holiday plans. During a pandemic, you have every right to cancel holiday plans last minute since things are changing daily with the COVID-19 virus.
Think through the holiday plans by weighing the pros and cons
Typically, holiday plans are all about tradition and you can probably predict everything you will be doing with your family, friends and/or coworkers. It is also possible that things have shifted to a virtual celebration to keep everyone safe. It seems a lot of businesses are moving their holiday parties to virtual celebrations or something that is safer than their typical celebration. The first step is to really know what the holiday plan is going to be. Collect as much information about it and any safety protocols being made that you can gather. If this is a celebration with your family members, but people are traveling from all over the country then it is okay to ask everyone how they plan to live their lives the few weeks leading up to getting together, what precautions they plan to take when traveling, and if they have a plan to get tested for COVID-19.
Once you have as many details as possible, you can then take some time to write out a list of Pro’s of attending this holiday celebration and then a list of Con’s of attending. After writing down every Pro and Con you can think of, take some time to circle any items that stand out to be priorities for you. Everyone is different so only you can say what are the most important things to you.
After thoroughly going through your Pro’s and Con’s, it is time to make a decision. If you notice that the decision you’re making is causing you an immense amount of anxiety and that you will be extremely anxious leading up to this holiday event, during the event, and after the event then you may want to re-think your decision. You could always try to compromise or ask someone in charge of the holiday plans to shift the plans to make things safer so that you feel more comfortable attending. It is possible though that others may not feel the same amount of worry as you and they may not want to change a holiday tradition. You can only do your best to ask and then make a decision off what is presented to you.
Talk To Your Partner About Your Decision
If you are in a relationship then it is likely that you will need to make this decision along with your partner. You may find that your partner’s family plans to quarantine for the few weeks leading up to Christmas and are being extra safe so that you can all spend the holiday together without worrying. While your family may live in a hot spot where COVID-19 cases are high and they may not be taking the virus too seriously. Your family may also have other family traveling by plane across the country who have been seeing friends and eating out often. Having a partner makes decision making around the holidays extra hard because you may feel much more comfortable going to your partner’s family’s home this year and not your family’s home because of how much safer it seems. If this decision is not what you’d typically do for Christmas though then you will be anxious of what your family will say when you tell them that you are spending the Christmas holiday at another family’s house.
As long as you have reasons behind your decision and you are able to agree on a plan with your partner then it is okay to stick to that decision and tell your family that you will not be seeing them for Christmas.
3. Think of an alternative
During this pandemic, it has been helpful to come up with alternative, safer plans. If you don’t feel comfortable spending Christmas at your parents house with your extended family then it would be great to come up with another option as to how you can still safely participate in some of the holiday tradition. Some examples include planning a time to talk on video, open gifts together on video, watch a movie together at the same time, see each other outside socially distanced, drive by to say hello and drop off gifts, etc. It will still show your family that you wish you could spend the holiday with them, but that these other options are the best you could do during the pandemic.
4. Stay hopeful
The holiday season can be a very stressful time for people and it could bring up loss as well. The holidays can also be a time of joy and hope for the new year that is to come. Take this time to reflect on the year and what is coming in 2021. It seems a vaccine is coming and an end to the pandemic. Try to stay hopeful and remind the people who you are cancelling plans with that you hope you can go back to seeing them and your traditions in December 2021 when social gatherings are safer.
If you are finding yourself feeling extra anxious and stressed this holiday season then getting support from a licensed therapist could be a great gift for yourself.
Courtney Glashow, LCSW
is a licensed psychotherapist practicing in Hoboken, New Jersey. She specializes in helping teens and adults with anxiety, depression, and life transitions through counseling. Courtney can help NY or NJ residents through telehealth (video/phone) therapy sessions as well.
