When a loved one loses someone important in their life, it does not just disrupt their day-to-day activities, but it changes their life forever. When someone you love experiences the death of a loved one, especially a sudden and unexpected passing, it is difficult to know how to offer support and comfort. You may not know what to say and you may even be afraid to say the wrong thing.
This can particularly be the case if you have not experienced the loss of a person before. You may not know how to relate to the other person since you never experienced those emotions. The truth is that, even if you have experienced feelings of grief, it is still hard to know how to console a relative or friend who is grieving. Even if it seems like nothing you can say or do will help the situation, do not stop offering your support and condolences. Accept that you cannot fix the situation, and focus on the present.
Grief is a gradual process. All you can do is be there as a pillar of support for your friend or relative, and hold a positive attitude about the future. Something as small as sending flowers, delivering a meal, or helping out your loved one with household tasks can be an immense source of help.
No matter what, try to be flexible and open to your loved one’s method of grieving. Grieving looks different for everyone. For example, if a friend loses a person who they had a close relationship with, but you want to continue your weekend tradition of getting brunch, still extend the invitation to your friend. Be prepared for your friend to say “no” and be accepting of their choice, but simply offering them that sense of support and “normalcy” during a chaotic time can be helpful. If your friend declines the offer, that is okay. You can check in on them the next day.
