Scapegoating in Families, family counseling, Hoboken NJ therapist, Jersey City NJ therapist, hudson county therapist
Courtney Glashow
Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in ...

Scapegoating means that you are blaming a person or group for something bad that has happened or for something that someone else has done. Scapegoating typically occurs to protect the image of a person or family. In a family dynamic, a person may be used as the scapegoat to protect a more favored member in the family. While it is common for one person to be used as the scapegoat, it can happen to multiple people.

Scapegoating can occur in different environments, such as work, but it is most prominent in unhealthy family dynamics. In this case, scapegoating then tends to start in childhood when a child is blamed for all of a family’s dysfunction and problems. A scapegoat bears the burden of taking on the mistakes of a family or team. 

When children are assigned this role at a young age, it can wreak havoc on their mental health. A scapegoated child may not believe that they are inherently good, worthy, or lovable. Instead, they hear insults regularly, experience constant bullying, and even abuse and neglect. This leads to a low self-esteem, decreased self-confidence, and negative self-talk. 

Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in Families
love bombing, nyc therapist, relationship counseling
Courtney Glashow
Overcoming the Aftermath of Love Bombing

Love bombing is a specific type of emotional abuse. It is a tactic where someone will “bomb” you with extreme displays of affection and attention. While it may seem like this person has fallen head over heels and madly in love with you, there is a darker truth to the matter. A love bomber is using their grand gestures with the intent of manipulating you. 

Being showered with love and affection can feel good and even positive at the very beginning of the relationship, but it can lead to serious issues down the road, like gaslighting and abuse. Love bombing is a very common tactic used by narcissists and sociopaths in relationships so they can control you.

Overcoming the Aftermath of Love Bombing
toxic relationship, relationship counseling, couples therapy, hoboken therapist, jersey city therapist, marriage counseling, nj therapist, nyc therapist, premarital counseling
Courtney Glashow
How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship

When you are in a healthy relationship, it naturally functions well. Of course, like any couple, you may have disagreements from time-to-time or there may be some hard times, but you band together no matter what. You are able to make major life decisions together, discuss problems once they occur, and genuinely enjoy spending time with one another.

On the other hand, you have toxic relationships. In a toxic relationship, the ‘norm’ is feeling drained and unhappy after spending time with your partner. This should be a major red flag that some things need to change.

You may still love your partner, but the relationship does not seem enjoyable. Maybe minor issues turn into full-blown arguments or you always seem to provoke one another. It may even get so severe that you dread spending time with your partner instead of getting excited to see them, like you were in the past.

Continue reading this blog to see if your relationship is toxic, and some guidance on how to navigate a toxic relationship.

How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship
Intergenerational Trauma, trauma counseling, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational ...

Disney has a way of exploring heavier life topics that can help children and the 2021 film Encanto is no exception. Movies like Inside Out and Soul also assist children in exploring heavier aspects of life, such as emotions, trauma, consciousness, and even death. Encanto joins the long list of children’s movies that have a deeper message.

Disney’s Encanto offers a multigenerational story about a grandmother and her family who have been endowed with magical gifts. The Madrigal family lives in a hidden village in Colombia. While each family member does their best to live up to their reputation and help others in the community, the facade slowly begins to crumble figuratively and literally in the house that all three generations share.
Not only do people love this movie because of its catchy soundtrack, including the famous song “We don’t talk about Bruno”, but people also love it because of its exploration of generational trauma.

Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational Trauma Right
control issues, mental health blog, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues

Do you have a hard time going with the flow? Do you have to follow a schedule or routine at all times? Do you try to control other people in your life? If you are dealing with control issues, it is likely that you feel like you must exert power over your life, relationships, and general environment. In some cases, this exertion of power may extend to the life of other people.

Control can simply be defined as exerting influence or power over the environment, actions, and behaviors of yourself or another person. There are many reasons why you may feel like you need to be in control, such as insecurities or fear of the unpredictable. At times, your need for control may become overwhelming and tiring, causing chaos in your career, relationships, and your overall quality of life.

7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues
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Is Breakup Counseling Right For Me?

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Is Breakup Counseling Right For Me?

Whether you are going through a sudden separation or a legal divorce, breakups can be difficult. Regardless of the relationship’s length, your current relationship status, and how much time has passed, breakups hurt and taking time to heal is necessary.

There is no set or correct amount of time to grieve your previous relationship. The amount of time it takes to heal varies from person-to-person. For instance, after a short-term relationship, you may find yourself feeling fine and ready to get back into the dating world within a few weeks. On the other hand, when a long-term relationship ends, such as a marriage, it may take years to feel okay again. Particularly when dealing with long-term relationships, there may be additional issues to manage, like the conclusion of shared friendships, financial issues, and custody problems.

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How to Support Your LGBTQIA+ Family Member and Become An Ally

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How to Support Your LGBTQIA+ Family Member and Become An Ally

Generally, many people know that June is Pride Month. However, you may not know what it means exactly. Simply, Pride Month is a movement for people in the LGBTQIA+ community and allies to celebrate differences while promoting equal rights. It is a time when those in the LGBTQIA+ community celebrate the freedom they have to be themselves.

Gender identity and sexual orientation are acknowledged, honored, and, most importantly, accepted. Celebrating Pride Month as an ally can be important for those in the LGBTQIA+ community since it signals love and acceptance by non-LGBTQIA+ people as a whole.

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How to Cope with Moving Stress

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How to Cope with Moving Stress

Whether you are moving to a new city, new state, or even a new country, changing locations is a thrilling experience! Moving out of an old, stagnant place and into a new setting, there can be much to look forward to. Many people will often look forward to moving, especially if their old living quarters were not as desirable as their new space.

As exciting as moving can be, it can also be equally as stressful. It can be nerve-wracking to think about the new responsibilities you may have when moving to a new location, such as meeting new friends. Another difficult component of moving can be the general stress of transporting your items and making sure that your space is suitable for your arrival. This is also known as the emotional stress of moving.

When you are planning a move, you most likely already know that it will not be an easy undertaking. If you want to lower your stress level during the moving process and settle into your new home as smoothly as possible, it is advised that you prepare yourself and learn some helpful stress management tips. Keep reading this blog to learn how to cope with moving stress!

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The Mental Health Benefits of Practicing Yoga

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The Mental Health Benefits of Practicing Yoga

Yoga is practiced by millions of people worldwide. It is thousands of years old, and has both spiritual and philosophical origins. Many Americans who practice yoga do so to receive its physical benefits. However, there are also powerful mental health benefits to the practice.

Contemporary media and various advertisements may have you believing that yoga is nothing more than physical poses; however, that is far from the truth.

Yoga includes many self-disciplinary aspects, such as:

  • Meditation

  • Chanting

  • Mantra

  • Prayer

  • Breath work

  • Ritual

  • Selfless action

The term yoga comes from the word “yuj”, translating to “to bind.” While many people may analyze this term differently, there is one major theme amongst the interpretations- connection.

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Benefits of Geriatric Counseling

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Benefits of Geriatric Counseling

It is undeniable that receiving mental health counseling services from a licensed therapist can be beneficial for most people, including senior citizens. Unfortunately, mental health counseling can often be overlooked when people are in their golden years. There are many great achievements and milestones that happen in old age, but there can also be hardships.

Many older adults face major life challenges during their senior years. Maybe you or your loved one can no longer maintain their independence, such as grocery shopping, cleaning, or even living on their own. In more extreme cases, there may be involvement of a medical diagnosis, including a mental health condition, which presents symptoms and general life challenges.

If you or a loved one is experiencing some mental health difficulties, you should think about reaching out to a geriatric mental health counselor. Even though young adults continue to battle the mental health stigma, senior citizens are less likely to receive mental health treatment in comparison to younger adults. This can be due to the general fact that seniors are more guarded with their emotions and do not share any mental health symptoms they may be experiencing. If you are trying to get mental health support for your loved one, please understand that it may take time for your family member or friend to understand the mental health benefits of speaking to a senior therapist.

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How To Support An Elderly Family Member

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How To Support An Elderly Family Member

As loved ones age, they need help with everyday tasks like preparing meals, cleaning the house, managing medications, and making health care decisions. When a person begins to need help in their old age, it is often family members (if applicable) who step in and assist. This can be a spouse, adult children, siblings, grandchildren, nieces and nephews, and so on. Family members are consistently the top source of long-term care and support for senior citizens.

In some cases, providing support to a senior family member can be relatively uncomplicated. For instance, your loved one may have a doctor’s appointment, but they have no transportation to and from the medical office. In this case, you know you can give them a ride to the doctor’s office and stay with them through the duration of the appointment, dropping them off home afterwards. However, not all cases are this simple.

Oftentimes, family members will overfill their plate, taking on too many responsibilities. This is typically due to health issues that impact your loved one’s ability to remain independent and govern various facets of their life.

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5 Ways I Prioritize My Mental Health In College

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5 Ways I Prioritize My Mental Health In College

My name is Madeline and I am a social media intern here at Anchor Therapy. I am currently a junior in college and it has taken me quite a while to figure out how I can prioritize my mental health. Between taking six classes, working two jobs, and trying to balance friendships and schoolwork, it can be very overwhelming and my mental health often used to take a back seat. I always find myself wanting to do everything I can at the same time to make sure I am having the traditional “college experience” that I have heard about my entire life. This year especially I have been making more of an effort to prioritize my mental health and do what is best for me. Here are my top five tips on how to balance your mental health while being in college.

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Tips for Healthcare Workers Experiencing Burnout

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Tips for Healthcare Workers Experiencing Burnout

Even before the global pandemic started in 2020, healthcare workers were under a lot of pressure. From long work hours to ever-changing work conditions, it can be easy to be stressed as a healthcare worker. This work-stress only increased and manifested itself into burnout during the COVID-19 pandemic.

During the pandemic, healthcare workers were on the front line, putting their health, safety, and overall life at risk to help others. Due to this, many people have advocated for a prioritization of mental health during lockdown and isolation, extending the invitation to frontline workers, on social media. While this was a great step in the right direction, many healthcare workers feel as though they may not have the time to take care of themselves and practice self-care.

Healthcare workers were one of the most affected groups by the COVID-19 virus as they were challenged on a daily basis to assist those who were infected. Even if you work in a healthcare environment and were not helping patients directly, you were still subjected to very difficult and stressful work conditions. While many people may believe that the COVID-19 pandemic is “over”, healthcare workers are still battling the virus every day.

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How To Manage A Panic Attack

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How To Manage A Panic Attack

The truth is that panic attacks are scary. They can hit you quickly and, in some cases, it may appear that there is nothing “triggering” your panic attack. When you are in the midst of a panic attack, you may feel like you are completely out of control and/or having an outer body experience. It is not uncommon for people to think that they are having a heart attack or even dying when a panic attack strikes.

Some people have one to two panic attacks during their lifetime and they go away on their own. Most of the time, these panic attacks may occur during a particularly stressful time in one’s life. However, recurrent and largely unexpected panic attacks may be a sign of a more serious issue, such as a panic disorder. Another important sign to gauge your severity is if you are consistently afraid of having another panic attack. If you live in fear of panic attacks and are constantly awaiting the next one, it is recommended that you seek guidance from a professional.

Panic attacks themselves are not life-threatening; however, they can be scary and interfere with your life, whether it is becoming increasingly more difficult to maintain friendships and relationships or difficulty concentrating on tasks at work. In any case, treatment can help!

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How Can CBT Help College Students Struggling with Anxiety?

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How Can CBT Help College Students Struggling with Anxiety?

While college can be a great time for growth, social exploration, and fun, it can also be a time filled with stress. Especially during this time of the year, final exams are in full swing and you may feel like you have a lot on your plate. Whether you are just dealing with the stress of your schoolwork or you are also trying to balance work and other responsibilities, college can easily breed feelings of anxiety.

In addition to your responsibilities, many people struggle with the changes that college can bring about. You are no longer surrounded by your family and friends. Your everyday routine has changed in a big way.

Some common causes of anxiety in college students include:

  • Academic pressure

  • Moving away from home

  • New social situations

  • Financial stressors

Many college students report having anxiety so you are not alone! By learning about your anxiety and working with a therapist who specializes in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, also known as CBT, you can make positive changes in your life and learn how to manage your anxiety!

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How to Cope With Dating Anxiety

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How to Cope With Dating Anxiety

If you are single and looking for a partner, chances are that you probably are familiar with the anxieties of dating. Generally, not many people like dating. When you are dating, you are meeting new people and you may feel scrutinized. You may even fear that you will do or say something to embarrass yourself.

The truth is putting yourself out there is hard. The thought of being vulnerable can be anxiety-provoking. However, for people who struggle with anxiety disorders, dating can be even more complicated and hard. For people with an anxiety disorder, the body responds differently than it would as a natural response to simply being nervous. This additional level of difficulty can make people with anxiety disregard dating altogether.

Dating can be a situation with many scary, unknown possibilities. There may be awkward small talk or other unknown factors, like if your date will show up or if you will get rejected. Eventually, this anxiety and shyness can lead to an avoidance of meeting new people. It can also lead to a sense of hopelessness about finding an acceptable partner and a sense of isolation.

If you struggle with social anxiety and have been going on dates or are even currently seeing someone, your experience might be affected by worry or panic attacks where the experiences are no longer enjoyable.

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How Childhood Trauma Can Impact You as an Adult

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How Childhood Trauma Can Impact You as an Adult

When we think of children, we often view them as being resilient- they can bounce back from almost anything. Although it may seem like children “bounce back” on the surface, traumatic experiences in childhood can lead to serious and long-lasting effects into adulthood, particularly when the trauma goes unresolved.

Childhood trauma can result from anything that leaves a child feeling helpless, disrupting their sense of safety and security. This can include:

  • Sexual abuse

  • Physical abuse

  • Verbal abuse

  • Domestic violence

  • Unstable/unsafe environment

  • Separation from a parent

  • Neglect

  • Bullying

  • Serious illness

  • Intrusive medical procedures

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How Do The Four Attachment Styles Impact Romantic Relationships?

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How Do The Four Attachment Styles Impact Romantic Relationships?

Have you noticed that you act certain ways in romantic relationships? Are you extremely confident and trusting your partner 100%? Or are you easily jealous and fear being alone for too long?

Whatever your thoughts and actions are surrounding romantic relationships, a possible explanation for them can be attachment styles. Attachment theories date back to the 1950s and, generally, pinpoint four primary attachment styles.

What are the four primary attachment styles?

The four attachment styles are as follows:

  1. Secure attachment

  2. Anxious-preoccupied attachment (sometimes referred to as ambivalent attachment)

  3. Avoidant-dismissive attachment

  4. Disorganized attachment

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Your Guide to Self-Care As A Parent

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Your Guide to Self-Care As A Parent

Parenting is a rewarding journey, but it is also a difficult one! From staying up all night with your newborn to rushing to get your kids to school on time, it can seem like your to-do list is never-ending. Amidst all the craziness, it can be easy to dismiss self-care, viewing it as something frivolous or a luxury.

Contrary to some people’s beliefs, self-care is not selfish. It does not have anything to do with being narcissistic or egocentric. Instead, it is deeply connected to health and wellness- both mental and physical. Once you begin to view self-care in the correct way, you will notice that self-care is anything but self-seeking.

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How to Help Your Pre-Teen or Teen Who’s Struggling in School

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How to Help Your Pre-Teen or Teen Who’s Struggling in School

No matter how hard you try, your child may struggle at some point in their school career. If your pre-teen or teen is struggling, it does not mean that you are a bad parent or doing anything wrong. Instead, it means that the learning circumstances are different for them than they were for you while you were going through school.

Kids are under more academic demands now more than ever. The learning curve gets steeper as the years progress which lengthens the amount of time students must dedicate to their studies. As your child advances to the next grade each academic year, it is also making subjects more difficult. At that point, research papers, projects, and reports require more planning and time from your children.

When your pre-teen or teen is having a difficult time in school, the stress will inevitably follow them home. Eventually, the extra homework, high stress levels, and anxiety become a stressor for the whole family. If you want to help your child succeed in school, you have come to the right place!

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How To Know When To Seek Grief Therapy & Learn All About The New Grief Diagnosis

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How To Know When To Seek Grief Therapy & Learn All About The New Grief Diagnosis

Grief is an inevitable part of life. In fact, it is a completely normal part of coping with loss. Grief is an extremely unique experience. In other words, it looks different to everyone from severity to how long the grief process lasts.

However, there are some scenarios where seemingly normal grief can transform into a grief disorder. As of March 2022, there is an updated Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition, Text Revision (DSM-5-TR). Within the DSM-5-TR, there is now an official mental health disorder for prolonged grief. With the symptoms and criteria for the diagnosis, it can tell you if your grief has become a major problem in your life. It can also tell you if you are grieving longer than you should and that you are not grieving in a healthy way. Read more below all about the new grief disorder in the DSM-5-TR which all psychotherapists and psychiatrists will use to diagnose clients. With the help of a grief counselor, you can overcome your grief disorder and come out of the experience as a stronger person!

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Find Out If You’re An Introvert or Extrovert

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Find Out If You’re An Introvert or Extrovert

From the Myers Briggs Type Indicator to the Enneagram, there are many personality tests out there that can reveal more about you. Learning more about your personality can be a powerful tool.

Personality tests can provide many advantages, such as:

  • Being able to understand yourself better

  • Helping you choose what path of study you want to pursue

  • Helping you pick a career that suits your interests

  • Enhancing your management skills

  • Teaching you healthy coping mechanisms

  • Making you more empathetic

  • Gaining insight into your mental health

More generally, personality tests can increase your level of self-awareness and help nurture important relationships in your life. A major component of almost all personality tests is whether you are more introverted or more extroverted.

Most likely, you know what side of the spectrum you are on by simply noting if you are more outgoing or shy in your everyday life. However, personality tests can offer more definitive answers. The question of whether you are an extrovert or introvert is more complex than simply being demonstrative or timid.

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How Spencer Accurately Depicts Bulimia

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How Spencer Accurately Depicts Bulimia

Spencer, a 2021 drama and historical film, focuses on the life of Diana, Princess of Wales. While royalty is typically viewed as something aspirational, Spencer showcases the dark side of fame and the overall pressure of the throne.

The film also shows other raw, realistic components of Princess Diana’s life, such as her battle with an eating disorder. It is widely known that the Princess of Wales struggled with bulimia, also known as bulimia nervosa.

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5 Healthy Ways to Cope With PTSD

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5 Healthy Ways to Cope With PTSD

Post-traumatic stress disorder, also known as PTSD, is a mental health condition that is characterized by a particular, terrifying event. This event can be either experienced first-hand or witnessed.

PTSD symptoms can start within one month of a traumatic event occurring; however, there are cases where symptoms appear years after the event took place. PTSD symptoms typically cause serious problems in both your social and professional lives. The symptoms can impede your ability to complete common daily tasks.

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5 Ways to Solve Common Relationship Problems

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5 Ways to Solve Common Relationship Problems

It is rare to have a completely perfect relationship. It is normal to hit a few bumps in the road. When you can spot these “bumps” ahead of time, you have a great chance of getting over them and not allowing them to detour your life.

There are many different ways that people react to problems in their relationships. Some people may feel angry or helpless while others may want to completely give up after a minor inconvenience. Then, there are other partners who are determined to make it work and will do whatever they can to fix the broken aspects of the relationship.

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